trying to get my head round it all

[underthebridge]

hi I am 33 ,before I start I struggle with shearing how I feel, emotions, feeling etc so bare with me if nothing makes sense, for the last 5-6 months I have been feeling low , loss of confidence , self worth , I have been told by somebody I may be depressed , I hate going to the doctors !! , so I think it begin with leaving work for a couple of reasons first to help my partner get back to work second to be a house husband and support one of my children with a disability , my marriage has been a bit rocky and we have been close to splitting up a couple of times but we keep fighting , a few months ago we lost our house and everything we own in a fire , my partner was more affected then me I think but she is better and getting on with life , I think I have had a delayed reaction, recently I have felt so alone and trapped , I struggle to talk to my wife and felt in a dark place to the point a few days ago I wanted to end our marrage , my wife agreed , but now I think I have made a huge mistake , I feel hatred towards my self and may have been drinking more then I should , I am at the lowest point I have ever felt , I don't have friends I can talk to and my wife is struggling but she has a group of good friends she confids in .

[Kezj05]

Wow you really have been though the mill and I'm sorry you have . Life gets tough for everyone at sometime but we have to get on , you sound like a nice caring person who thinks of others a lot especially your family which doesn't give you much time for yourself , giving up work must of been hard on you too. You do sound like you are suffering from depression which isn't surprising considering what you've been through ,going through the doctors can help but if you don,t like that idea then maybe relate you can phone them or online they are great n will help you with depression & relationships , there isn't a magic wand but I know that things never last forever & it does get better ,I hope it does for you soon .

[ilovepuppies]

You poor man. What a dreadful time you've been having. First things first, it certainly sounds like you have depression. Go to your doctor. They are much more savvy about depression these days and will be able to help you, either by referring you for therapy or for giving you some medication which will help your mood. It's the first step to taking control. Talk to your wife- sit her down when the kids are in bed and tell her how bad you've been feeling- spill it all out. Be honest. Tell her you've made a mistake and want your marriage to work. Remember she's on your side. Try to cut down on the amount you're drinking as it's working against your mood, and don't hate yourself- you're going through a really rough time at the moment but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Admitting to yourself that you need support is the first step to recovery.

Good luck my friend, hope your situation improves. xx