im feeling helpless

Ive been feeling depressed for almost a year and a half now and im loosing all hope! i constantly cry cant sleep or just sleep constant, cant eat and i just feel like im failing everyone including myself, now its probably at its worst and i feel like i have no one and i just end up blaming my partner for everything! ive been trying to keep myself busy and surround myself with people but i cant do it i just end up in a room on my own crying for no reason. i dont wanna go to a doctor as i dont feel they get me at my surgery i just want some help to feel happy again!!!!!:(

9 Replies

  • Morning Emma

    First off Im sorry you feel like this I know how aweful it is. The people on this site will help and support you, they give the best hugs and the best advice.

    Id just like to soothe, distract and enthuse you, so humour me Emma you've got a few minutes, lets play a game. We will call it if Emma had everything she wanted what would it be. Often we know what we dont want because we are living it, no arguements no thanks, no feeling worthless no thanks, no job i hate no thanks...all that.

    Thing is what would you have if you could have everything, what would it look like, how would it smell, where would you live, what job would you have, how would your hair look, what clothes would you wear?

    When your very young you daydream its such a wonderful thing to do, you gaze out the window and don't hear a word the teachers saying and within minutes your running through lush green fields playing games or building sand castles on the beach. It is where our inner creativity comes from, our best work.

    No one here will think you are inauthentic about your feelings if you play with me and it could take minutes or hours, you have no time limit.

    So lets start, Emma if you could live anywhere in the world, if you could leave right now where would you go? Money is limitless, would you choose Sunshine or Cold, would you go to your old childhood home, or to see the Grand Canyon, help me out her Emma let me see what you see. The beach, a cottage in the country, the buzz and life of a big city?

    Now you've moved, what kind of house would you live in? A houseboat, a Mansion? A flat in the city? A cottage by the sea? A terrace house, a modern building, an old church, an old converted barn?

    Breathe in the air, its clean, fresh and clear, fill your lungs, you can be do anything, you've won a lot of money, money now is no object, what work would do, how would you spend your day? What would you wear, what clothes, Next, New Look, Dolche and Gabbana?

    Would you work with Animals or people? Or alone as an Artist or in a collective, would you like a 9-5 so you know the evenings and weekends are yours alone. The view outside your office window is it the swimming pool at home or the beach or lush green fields or the office block across the road with such beautiful colours and decorations?

    Would you have a cat, a dog, children?

    If I was Emma Louise what would I see? Where would my joy come from, what would I eat which shows would I go to,or walks, films? Tell me anything, something let me into the perfect world of EmmaLouise.

    Our brains are a powerhouse of ingenuity and we store a great deal in our subconscious, all Im asking is bring that out in the open show it the light and maybe just maybe you will see things happen in your life. It doesnt hurt to know what you actually want, after all how will you recognise it when you see it.

    Take your time and answer if you wish to, Im happy to play for a while and I believe it is a form of investing in your life and yourself.

    As I said the others on this website will take care of the rest :-)

  • if i could leave right now id live in cornwall

    definatly a cottage overlooking fistral bay (my partner took me there a few weeks back to surf its was such a relaxation)

    id be a seamstress with my own business so i could surf whenever i was feeling down

    id keep the clothes simple ill always be a new look girl!

    id have a dog and children!

    my perfect world? surfing everyday, sewing, having kids, long walks by the beach but most importantly feeling happy!!!

  • Emma what a delight you are.

    So first you dont want to be a rocket scientist living on the moon wth Liz Taylor eating Caviar!

    What Im trying to say is ALL you want is achievable.....hoorah thank God for that.

    So lets agree your useless now, I mean if your down you cant move fast BUT you can thnk, you can make small plans so lets start:

    The great gurus and thnkers say everything starts with a thought and idea, its true if you think you parents had to think about you before they had you, you had to think about going to school before you actually went etc

    So point by point

    1) Cornwall can be reached by car! So lets say Emma you me and your boyfriend are moving to Cornwall (okay not me, so

    Fistral Bay right okay well on Zoopla there are houses, look we are in day dream moade for now so just indulge me. Which house (look it up) How much is it, does it have the right ktchen, bathroom, garden, room for the kids.

    Seamstress -Fan Bloody Tastic a portable skill, okay well which designers do you lke, what would make, childrens clothes, evening wear, surf clothing, would have jewellery and accessories , a real shop or an online shop?

    Do you need to train can you start now, are there any free or cheap courses in the evening. Could you today draw some designs, if I ask you for an eight piece collection (drawn only) for next week could you give it to me? What fabrics, how much, what style, play with this. Look online and find next seasons colours.

    Surfing, you surf blimey Ive always wanted to surf, not that really is rocket science for me, I cant roller skate either while we are at it.

    Could any part of your business dovetale with the surfing, along side your sewing business could you have a T-Shir Printing business, I mean T-shirts you got printed and sold online so you dont actually deal with the printing just come up with the wording, logo, design.

    Kids could you clothe your kds and use them as models for the business.

    Your BF what are his skills can he contribute if not you may need to change him for an

    id be a seamstress with my own business so i could surf whenever i was feeling down

    id keep the clothes simple ill always be a new look girl!

    id have a dog and children!


    You can have alll this, what you want has been done soooo many times, youre not asking to re-invent the wheel. My advice look online and find out who is already doing this. Especially seamstresses in the states, ask them how they started, how they got customers. Ask people online what is it like to live in Cornwall. Listen to online surfers and see what they need, could you provide something in your business for them.

    NEVER EEEEEVER GIVE UP EMMA. My God dont give up until someone stops you, you have NOTHING to lose. What what would you lose your miserable life now? No No let think Emma, your a powerhouse of talent.

    You already have the man to make the babies

    You know where youd like to live

    You can sew? or learn to sew

    You know what makes you happy.

    Your not starting from Zero and Cornwall well hello if needs be you can go down and back in a day its in the same country! ...Hoorah!

    Now Im not saying you have to do this now or ever but what harm does it do to explore the idea. Break it down into small things and it will come easily.

    So reply Emma reply :-)



  • id have the £700,000 house in lusty glaze!!!! perfect!

    i love holly fulton and also a designer i went to college with sinead shes a huge insperation and is gonna be huge at london fashion week! id make adults clothes and online shop for sure

    no im fully trained and can provide full services from drawings trend research to pattern making to sewing

    i love surfing id love to design a wetsuit also my boyfriend rides motocross so would love to make a kit for him

    yes theyd be little modles lol

    hes a scaffolder lol

  • Well now for the hard truth Emma, the boyfriend is going to have to give up scaffolding and go to accountancy school....harsh I know.

    Okay so backwards now, it costs you nothing to get a drawn collection together, if you want to design a wet suit find out if that is even possible in sample form, what would need, what would it cost. Draw the designs NOTHING Is more important or more valuable than your ideas.

    Emma I think its so nice your so supportive of your friend but PLEASE, PLEASE....DONT COMPARE, stoppittt. We all do it, try and train yourself away, she has her journey you have yours. She may start off well but you may supercede her so dont get stuck in the here and now.

    The one thing no one can gve you, that you cannot by or create is time! And you have plenty of it! So focus...gently.

    The house well good lets aim for that, we both know you cant have that now, but start to fgure out what you can have. Go back to zoopla and look up rentals, 1-2 bed flats.

    BF can work anywhere right?

    How much would it cost you in bills and rental to have a place in Cornwall. Would your parents stock some of your stuff so you dont need to take so much.

    I would suggest when you feel ready you SLOWLY start looking at what it would mean to start your own business. This is still day dream Emma we have the wind at our backs.

    Lets say your flat is £12,000 pcm all in (less hopefully but humour me) The BF is going to pay half of that so now all we have to find is £600 pcm. Workout for me how many clients you would need and how much your collection would cost, would you need to sell 4 dresses a week? 2 t-shrts and 5 accessories?

    Looked up Holly Fulton...hardwork lady, how could you produce Holly Futlon for less and maybe simplfy the designs. I would urge you to consider kids clothes as it is a big and accessible market, maybe as part of your collection. A mother and daughter range.

    If you found a textile desgner to work with you could produce unique surfing print and spoonflower and create a small range of exclusive clothes, a capsule collection might get you funding.

    Okay so you know the Fashions have seasons, dates by which a collection must be complete. Find out the next date, if its too soon aim for next season.

    My advice Emma sit your family down and your BF and tell them, tell them your unhappy, tell them you have a dream and let them share in that dream. Say you want help...demand help! Show them the draw collection, youve done some research and my God will they pick up on your passion.

    Okay so online get a book out of the library, watch youtube and build a wordpress site, dont tell anyone, no one will find it without your advertsing so have fun!

    If you can do this:

    no im fully trained and can provide full services from drawings trend research to pattern making to sewing

    Join a sewing forum talk to people get info, make friends they could be future clients, HAVE FUN.

    Why not try and make something small for his motorcross hed be so stoked!

    Dream the dream Emma and work towards it. Since or last reply you got qualifed!

    So now you have the baby maker

    You have the skills

    You know where you want to live

    You know what makes you happy

    A little research some drawings and now your idea is on PAPER and starting to come alive.

    Tell me what you do know, what you can do, would you dare to talk to mom and pop?


    This is very exciting

    hes a scaffolder lol

  • Sorry Just realised the last comment was a cut and paste from your copy...Im not laughing at your BF being a scaffolder! Sorry x

  • Emma hope I inspired you didnt make you feel like you couldnt talk about your feelings, sometimes I get over enthusiastic. Especially wth the Arts as Im Artistic, I want you to do well and be happy, but in an easy soothing way. Hope all improves, here if you need a push anytime :-)

  • Hi Emma,

    Its quite a good way to look at what Caroline is doing. its kind of a mind map where you write down an brief idea (the big picture) and break that down further into smaller elements that need to be addressed and you tackle these elements further until you see no more that need to be addressed. then you address them starting from the bottom until you realize the bigger picture. it does make your mind work and that is a very good thing and helps you slowly move away from that cycle you are going through.

    I'm doing a blogspot about depression and how I've dealt with it. I have briefly spoken about my issues and wrote down how you can support yourself or someone can support you. its still in the writing but part of it is already published and there some areas I need to write some more. its not a biblical fact on depression but its a way to you get you thinking and give ideas and support. here is the link.


    to talk about your issue you need to see the doctor 1st and arrange to see a counsellor to talk through what you are going through and help tackle some of the issues. if you don't then you will be stuck in that cycle. if you feel you can't go then maybe a family member, or your BF or a friend can go with you as moral support.

    Please tell us more and we can help. Please don't ignore what Caroline has mentioned I think its a brilliant method and helps you be proactive about realizing your dream

  • hey,

    you need to concentrate on something that keeps you calm and makes you happy. Just remember to breath, I've been in a similar situation myself and I found that knitting and having baths really helped me to chill and relax whilst still being productive.

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