I'm worth investing in

[Annettenak]

Hello everyone, I'm back after a couple of years. I was active at the time. Thanks for still being here.

Food is really complicated for me because we have a number of ethical and allergy issues in the house, on top of a shedload of borderline eating disorders. Meals and meal planning are distressing. It's one of those terrible perfect storms to create weight gain.

It has taken a lot to get me back here.

I have lost a significant amount of weight twice in my life. One of my barriers to doing this now is that people who saw me do it the last time, and made such a fuss over how well I had done, have been politely silent about my gaining it back. And now they'll see me lose again and think 'here we go again.' I don't want to wear my really deep, private, personal issues - or progress - so publicly. It is none of their business, but it's so obvious when something's going on. I hate thinking about how my gain will have been the subject of their private conversations.

It makes me sad that so many people took so much time to congratulate me for how good I looked then, when they just meant I was successfully slimming. I am the same person! I already tell myself that my weight is evidence of my mental state. I don't need all the people around me calling me out for it, or the silent disappointment that follows.

Anyway the pain of change has become less than the pain of staying the same, and now I am here.

This is what is different. I recently achieved a great challenge (another public one) at work, writing an enormous 200-page document with a business plan for taking our not-for-profit into its next stage, and I really benefited from the process of laying out objectives, strategies, challenges and how I would meet each one. The honesty of putting forward obstacles, and the self-reflection of acknowledging everything we have on our side, was really encouraging and motivating.

So I am writing a business plan for my weight loss journey, with the rest my life as side benefits. It will do me good to see everything I have going for me, and to see that *I* am worth investing in.

For instance I'm able to lay out the food complications in my family and in my past, to be able to come up with a strategy for tackling each one. I have an exercise plan, and I know I need to hear from wise and experienced voices, so I have a reading list to help me become a better person, and I will respond to what I read.

It's a bit like getting myself into therapy, but using all the tools I actually have, myself, to address all the problems, and plan strategies. And I don't plan to finish the plan. The process of writing it feels like it will keep me on track and focused.

I hope this will work.

I am not going to try to lose all the weight I did last time. I'm about ten pounds less than I was at my biggest last time. I got on the 'losing high' and lost more than I should have, and then couldn't maintain it. I'm hoping that by losing down to a normal size, rather than to too small, not so many people will notice.

I just want food not to be an issue. That may never happen. So I have to just find ways of living with it, so it is not controlling me or my family.

Thanks for having me back.

[Frenchfields 2024 January]

Welcome back and onward and downward. Forget what other people think , its really noone elses business and I do think people are a bit worried about being ’non-pc’ about weightloss and other body related issues currently because fat shaming and other body shaming is becoming such a thing. My mum used to be the cook in a care home and had to deal with all sorts of dietary requirements. She taught me to meal plan by making a list of all meals that suit your dietary needs - even if its complicated. Add notes if you have family members that need something different. Then use the list to create a weekly meal plan. Physically write the list and the weekly plan and appropriate notes and then your shopping list. Once you’ve done this for 3 or 4 weeks you can start again at the beginning with your week one. If you come across a new meal you like stick it on the list so you don’t forget.

I eat the same for breakfast and lunch everyday, so its just evening meals that I have to plan. And I find the less time I have to spend thinking about food, the better -I’d rather be doing something else. Hope you have success this time around.

[Annettenak in reply to Frenchfields]

Thanks Frenchfields, we've been living like this for quite a while. I just run out of stamina by the time I get round to meeting my own food needs, so I end up eating rubbish that is terrible for me. A whole-family plan is probably my best next step, thank you.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

Hi, that sounds a very impressive piece of work you did on the business plan: I should think it was very satisfying, personally and professionally.

The reality is, unless we live in a cave, people will observe our weight loss and gain: there's nothing we can do about that. And yes, they may well make judgements as we do about ourselves, when we put back the weight we successfully lost. We would be the same: we can't help noticing big fluctuations in people's weight. Just get yourself back on track with eating and living healthily in a way you can sustain, and your weight will find a healthy level

[dontdojogging 1st 7lbs]

You've already received some wise words here from Frenchfields and Bridgegirl, all I'm going to add is that this is your life, don't worry about what everyone else might think. On here there are many of us who have been in your position - lost loads then put it all back on + some, then done it again and again. Important thing is to learn to have a healthier relationship with food, acknowledge which ones are a trigger for putting on weight and don't over indulge. it's about feeling good in yourself. Sounds like you've got all the tools to do this, and we're all here to support you. Look forward to reading your progress.

[Bee-bop Maintainer 2st 7lbs]

Hi Annettenak,

You have acheived your weight loss before so know you can do it again and this time you also have a "business plan" to make sure you keep on track. My children and I have food intolerances and I agree this makes things a bit more difficult but, on the plus-I can't just grab a sandwich and cake when I go out!

Like Frenchfields says, get yourself a list and make sure your needs are on there too. I have got in me some "put the children first" from somewhere and remember realising that I would go to the fruit and veg shop and let them pick their fruit and realised I went without each time. Small things like that mount up.

You got this 👍

[ANewMe2022 3 stone]

Great comments! Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and even if you make a new start every day, it proves how resilient you are. And that is one hell of a quality to have xx