I experienced the biggest and loudest wake-up call after a recent experience where I lashed out at a friend which I something I never pictured myself doing. This was all over the smallest thing where she wanted to keep a picture of us doing something fun but I hated how I looked in this picture and I ended up just blowing up about it. I hate seeing myself in the mirror or in pictures that are not heavily filtered often leading to me avoiding looking in the mirror and taking pictures that I either delete or never look at/share with others.
I am using this as my wake-up call because that is not how I want to live I am tired of going through life hating how I look and avoiding going places or wearing certain things because of it. I need to make changes and the first step for me is joining others who are on similar journeys because I have tried this by myself in the past and I always crash and burn after only a couple of days.
It's been a real difficulty for me to admit I have a very unhealthy relationship with food and my own body I want to pretend that my weight and generally unhealthy appearance don't bother me but they do. The hardest part of this for me is I work in the mental health field helping others who experience similar things but I have been unable to put the skills I know into practice for myself. I don't think many would want to admit that the thing they do professionally is something they are unable to incorporate into their own life. I am tired of hating myself and being so negative because I deserve to love myself and I deserve to be happy and healthy.
Sorry for the long rant this has been building for quit some time and I think I am ready to just put it all out there.