Newbie - 27 years old, 21 stone (130 kgs) - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

113,006 members59,793 posts

Newbie - 27 years old, 21 stone (130 kgs)

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August
45 Replies

Hi, I'm Matt (my friends call me Matty). I'm a 27 year old Dad to two baby twin boys (8 months old) and I'm married to an excellent wife. I've always struggled with my weight - currently weigh around 130kgs, needing to turn it around.

Currently on holiday with some family, friends and their families - been really embarrassed by the pool by my size, stretch marks and level of unfitness, struggling with the heat too!

Always struggled with my size, but the pandemic has definitely made things worse.

45 Replies
moreless profile image

Hi and welcome, newdad2022 (Matty) :)

Well done for taking the bull by the horns and joining us, you won't regret it.

All of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts and we hope you'll be joining all the Events, Challenges and Clubs that we run, especially the weigh-in and daily diary.

If you haven't already taken it, here's a tour of the forum

We've found active participation to be key to successful weight loss and, of course, it's a good way to get to know people, find inspiration and share support and encouragement.

Wishing you all the best :)

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to moreless

Hi, thanks for replying. I definitely hope not - looking for this time to be the time I finally get rid of the fat - especially being a Dad now too.

Will take the tour of the forum, thank you. Will probably weigh in once I get home from my holiday so the weight is accurate, is that ok?

Definitely will be active here - all whilst balancing work and looking after two young kids.



moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator in reply to newdad2022

Enjoy your holiday and we'll look forward to catching up with you when you return :)

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August

Does anyone have any eating/diet/exercise plans or tips. Eager to hit the ground running as soon as I get home next week.

moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator in reply to newdad2022

Matty, you'll find as many different plans as there are members, it's a very personal choice. You might find this a good place to start, until you develop your own version

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to moreless

Thank you - will take a look

Sheepfan profile image
Sheepfan3kg in reply to newdad2022

If you have a look at the NHS website and find the BMI calculator then it gives you a target calorie range to aim for which can be handy to give you a general starting idea of where you should be aiming for sustainable weight loss. There are lots of different ways people loose weight on here and it's all about finding what fits for you and your lifestyle.

Real food (the link more less gave you), calorie counting, intermittent fasting, low carb, WW/slimming world these are just some of the options, I'm sure I'll have missed some!

One thing I would say is that whatever plan you choose, forward planning is key. If you know what you're going to eat that day then it helps keep focus and stops as much wayward snacking or impulse eating, for me at least!

Good luck! It might take a little while to figure out what works for you but stick with it and I'm sure you'll get to where you want to be 🙂

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Sheepfan

Just done this with my best guess of my weight before I get home and can weigh myself properly. Says my BMI is 43.6 and I should have between 3699 and 3470 calories per day to lose weight.

There’s definitely lots of options I need to explore. I do shift work (not nights) so my meal times can sometimes be a little all over the place so snacking is definitely an issue for me.

Thank you

focused1 profile image
focused1Maintainer in reply to newdad2022

I am puzzled by the amount of calories quoted . I could eat a crazy mountain of decent food with under 2000

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to focused1

The calculation is based on weight, height, age, gender, activity level, and I think the intention is to ease the individual into gradually reducing, rather than a drastic cut which is unsustainable. But I agree, you can eat very well at a much lower calorie figure.

For me, real food is the way to go and is likely to lead to a calorie reduction without any counting

focused1 profile image
focused1Maintainer in reply to newdad2022

Mine is don't overthink . 3 meals a day , no snacks , you can only eat what you buy . Watch portions but - push the children out for a walk . I found pushing a double buggy was such good exercise and I am sure your wife would appreciate some time to just breathe !

Your children will get all the attention but this would help you walk with a purpose.

3 meals for me - porridge made with water plus max 2 portions of fruit with 2tbsp of full fat Greek yogurt - Breakfast with a coffee .

Lunch - Large salad with 3 egg omelette or canned fish , lean white meat .

Tea . Grilled fish , white meat , mound of seasonal veg .

Weekend I add the odd alcoholic drink and / or a pudding to my evening meals

Don't eat the kids leftovers and try not to eat after 7.30pm .

Fruit tea is great when you get used to it .

I maintain on this simple plan and lost 18kg . I do Zumba , walk and swim but there is no fast fix and the odd social event will hardly be noticed if you get back onto this . My husband joined me but I had to add the odd jacket potato, pasta and brown rice but he feels a lot healthier and now doesn't have risk of Type 2 diabetes.

BridgeGirl profile image

Good to have you with us, Matty. You can turn things round :)

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to BridgeGirl

Thank you. I hope so - can’t continue at this size.

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to newdad2022


Wine profile image
WineSS Supercook

Have a lovely holiday it's great to unwindI use the NHS 12 week weight loss plan app and it seems to work for me

You could try the slimming groups

Some on this site follow a low carb plan

Basically there's no quick fix i have dieted after having kids and put the weight back on with covid finally got myself sorted started the year at 19st 2lb and as of today am 15st 2lb thrown all my old sized clothes out never going there again

All the b es t hope 2c a slimmer you

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Wine

Thank you - it’s nice to be away. Been manic busy recently so nice to relax but also been an eye opener when it comes to my weight/size.

I’m going to research the options before I get started.

Well done, that’s an excellent amount of weight to lose. I hope to be joining you in the not too distant future!

Peggymae-18 profile image

Morning Marty My daughter felt just like you she has a 10 month old . One morning she woke up and told herself she had todo something for herself and her baby. My daughter started sliming world 8 months ago ( i do know it’s not for everyone ) she has lost 6 stone her confidence has come back it’s so lovely to see.Good luck Matty

TheTabbyCat profile image
TheTabbyCatAdministrator in reply to Peggymae-18

Hi Peggymae-18, and welcome to Weight Loss Support. Thanks for offering support and a super well done to your daughter.

May I ask if you're just visiting or are you on your own weight loss journey, either way is fine by us. :)

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Peggymae-18

Babies are definitely a handful - definitely 2 of them! I tried Slimming World in the past and it was alright. Thanks and well done to your daughter

skrtsmiller profile image
skrtsmiller2022 August

Hi MattyWell done coming here and starting your journey with us. I'm new too so still finding my feet . Read through some of the posts and it'll help to give you an idea of how things work and yhe amazing support.

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to skrtsmiller

Hi, been reading through some of the posts. It seems very welcoming here, good luck

Fatgorrilla profile image

Well-done new dad you will rock this

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Fatgorrilla

Thank you

Bee-bop profile image

Hinewdad2022, Not trying to promote slimming world but, that is how I lost my weight and my daughter was 132.85 kg and bmi 47.64 when she first weighed at the drs in May this year and is now 127 with just me adjusting her diet at present. That 5kg loss is so good as she isn't really doing much in the way of exercising due to pain and waiting to hear back from physio. The heat is so hard when we are bigger and in someways can help as it can make people less hungry and more thirsty. Depending on which ever programme you follow, drinking more water can help!

My tips would be:

work out your trigger foods and bring them down whether it be Mcdonalds, trips to the chippy etc or crisps, pies, sweet stuff.

The plan we follow is an adapted SW plan because I was (and turns out my daughter was) pre diabetic so, I also swapped white potatoes for sweet potatoes, white rice for wholegrain, white pasta to wholegrain pasta-stuff like that and we totally ditched the sugar for lower GI alternatives.

Also, you could check out with your GP what is on offer in your area regarding weight loss as they can support you with that especially if you have any underlying issues. I made sure we looked at any existing health concerns for my daughter and found out she has PCOS which can affect weight loss. She had in the past thyroid issues but, the test came back negative on that. She is low vitamin D and iron though which could contribute towards her fatigue. You may get support from a social prescriber (not sure if available throughout the UK or just here) and in some areas they offer cheaper gym membership to help or some free WW/SW sessions

Look at weight loss holistically as it isn't just how much we eat and exercise but, how we think and feel too. If you can think about what being lighter will feel like, what will be better for you etc and write it down or visualise it to help you towards your goal. Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day or get a stayed the same on the scales as many will tell you on here bad days happen and so do STS's sometimes even small gains. Just dust yourself off and get back to thinking about where it is you want to be.

Good luck on your weight loss journey 👍

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Bee-bop

Hello, I have tried Slimming World in the past (before the pandemic) and lost about 10kg - I was lighter then and have since put the weight back on with some on top. I have a lot more than 10kg to lose this time round. The best guess I have without weighing myself accurately (I'm on holiday atm) is that my BMI is around 44.

Definitely need to cut out lots of the bad stuff I tend to rely on a lot. I'll have a look what's on offer at home. I don't have any medical conditions as far as I know. I definitely need to join the gym I think, I'm really unfit but I think any exercise will be good.


Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bopMaintainer in reply to newdad2022

Yes, the bad stuff tends to creep in! You have shown you have managed it in the past so, you got this 👍

JoyfulJayne profile image

Hi Matt You can do this ! I’m a similar weight and gradually turning things around . Wishing you all the very best . Sounds like you’ve got a

Loving family & good friends . Take care 🌈

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to JoyfulJayne

Thank you - best of luck

3rd-Time-Here profile image

Hi Matty, you've crossed the first hurdle in accepting that you want to change your weight and fitness. Good luck on you journey, you will find excellent support on this forum from many like minded people. 😀

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to 3rd-Time-Here

Thank you for the welcome

Trimmerteacher profile image

Hi Matty, you have had loads of good tips already, so I shall just give you one piece of advice - don't give up. You might start off keen and eager, but the enthusiasm wanes eventually, or you have a bad day and decide you deserve a treat, and you fall off the wagon. Everyone here without exception has done that, but success only comes when you get back on that wagon.......every time, however often it happens. Use this forum for support and encouragement, there is always someone here who can help. Wishing you all the best - you can do this. 🙂

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Trimmerteacher

Thank you

Real-Asherah profile image
Real-Asherah2022 June

Congratulations for tackling the worst of it: the emotional upset! You probably have already consulted with experts about safe weight loss, but the GP, or hospital and GP-related weight loss programs may be a place to start especially if they offer a check-up first.

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Real-Asherah

Thank you - I'm definitely going to speak to my GP when I get home

UserError profile image
UserErrorRestart August 2022

Hi Matt.

As has been said, there are myriad ways of doing things & we're all different - what worked for me (apart from that motivation from the GP) was that we (my wife as well) just decided that we were going to do this.

I'm older than you (mid-fifties and been gradually gaining weight for the last decade or so - not as big as you by some margin, but got a kick up the a*se when a blood test indicated that I was pre-diabetic). A few years ago, the husband of a friend of hers had been diagnosed as fully diabetic but had retreated from that using a very low carb diet (Michael Moseley's). Back then it was all a bit irrelevant to me & I didn't really register it, but my wife ordered the book...

Initially, my reaction was "no way, 800 calories a day????" and "I can't have dinner without rice/pasta/spuds etc and I can't not eat bread & toast...". However, with some scepticism, we went we for it and it was weird. Yes I got hungry, but I got hungry before meals anyway and we were both surprised how unhungry we felt - I am convinced it was the lack of carbs. The good thing was that we started to get results pretty quickly and that helped motivate me through any hunger periods. And that success - control over things - is empowering. After about 6 weeks the weight loss stalled rather and we came off it - it's supposed to be 8 weeks. We sort of oscillated between normal eating and reduced carb eating for months and I went from about 15 stone 2lb to 12st 7lb and am still that weight a year later. I'm back on the regime to get down to under 12st.

As my middle age progressed, I had almost resigned myself to going up to 38" waist trousers, but now am aiming for 34" - I can take all my 36" trousers off without undoing them and they need to be held up with a belt cranked well in.

Also, while it clearly doesn't help, IMO it needn't matter if you have a birthday or Christmas blowout OCCASIONALLY, you've got to live... It was my daughter's birthday a month into our diet & we had a takeaway (shocking amount of calories for one sitting lol) and I didn't particularly hold back at Christmas, but I still lost the weight. I could have lost more, or lost it quicker, but it has gone. Obviously if you take the p*ss and keep having celebrations, you won't lose weight.

The point of this ramble is that it is doable. My strategy is to apply just two rules: (1) You can't fool yourself if you cheat, you know really. And the one rule to bind them: ye cannae change the laws of physics Jim - only one thing matters - (2) energy in must be less than energy burnt, however you go about it. Some people like to do group stuff, I'm not like that and self-motivate, but there's a way for everyone.

TheTabbyCat profile image
TheTabbyCatAdministrator in reply to UserError

Hi UserError and welcome back, thanks for sharing your experiences and super well done for your successful loss to date.

As many things have changed since your last visit I'll leave you the link to the pinned posts so that you can brouse around as you wish.

All the best :)

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to UserError

Thanks for all the advice, it's appreciated. Well done for losing the weight.

Bowling10 profile image
Bowling102022 July

As a struggling life time dieter I know how you feel l have now started the 5.2 diet and things have started happening. I am eating 2 meals a day which in this weather is easy and no snacks give it a go 🙃

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Bowling10

Thank you

Cp1965 profile image

Hello Matt, and welcome.

Like you I always struggled with my weight, bounced around 19-20 stone for years, then a motorbike accident in 2000 really spurred me to pile the pounds on, ended up being something in the region of 25-26 stones at one stage. I tried all the fad diets, the slimming clubs, lost so much weight over time but ended up putting it all back on.

I managed to lose a lot of weight by walking and cutting out takeaways etc., this after I had an “approaching 50” checkup with my GP, however another road accident left me unable to exercise and I regained about 25kg over the ensuing couple of years.

Then a few things happened- my marriage broke up after 15 years, I changed job, and a routine work medical revealed blood in my pee- having a camera inserted into my bladder isn’t something I want to repeat! That spurred me on to my current programme, I’ve had my ups and downs but I’m generally healthier and fitter now than I have been for most of my adult life.

What worked for me- exercise (initially walking, then I did Couch to 5k, took up running, and have recently joined a gym mainly to build up muscle tone and get rid of the moobs!), cut out processed food, cut out takeaways, cut right back on alcohol, and generally just try to look after myself more.

It will also help if your wife/partner is supportive, sadly that’s something I never had (not nice to be told “you’re only losing weight because you’re after/have got another woman”), so sit down, look her in the eye and tell her you’re doing it for her, the kids and yourself. Wishing you the very best of luck, it’s not a journey, it’s a lifestyle change.

Apologies for what has become a long post…! Looking forward to seeing how you get on, and set some money aside for a new wardrobe!

newdad2022 profile image
newdad20222022 August in reply to Cp1965

Sorry to hear about your road accidents (they sound nasty) and the troubles in your private life but well done for turning things around now!

Definitely need to make some changes to my eating and lifestyle and I’m lucky to have a supportive wife too.

Bowling10 profile image
Bowling102022 July

hope all is going well Matty keep positive

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Bowling10

I hope we hear from Matty. Meanwhile, how are things going with you?

Bowling10 profile image
Bowling102022 July in reply to BridgeGirl

had a long walk 4180 steps off to get my fruit n veg for the weekend

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Bowling10

Hope you have some tasty plans for the fruit and veg. If you're making soup, don't forget to add it to Springers Specials :)

You may also like...