This one might surprise the regulars - since my usual posts are rants on the subject of low-carb - but an uncharacteristic twinge of homesickness prompted me to google 'oatcake recipes'. I came across this, which seems like the real deal:
If you live anywhere other than Staffordshire you'll have never even heard of these, which is probably just as well. They are not healthy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact they might be the worst possible food I can think of for weight loss. But they are traditionally eaten with a sausage, cheese, and bacon filling, which is not only extremely tasty, it also ticks all my boxes for 'high fat'
In short, they're the sort of food you should revel in once or twice a year, to remind yourself that, even if British food is full of stodge, at least it's delicious stodge.