I need serious help

[Bungiecat]

I am 43 have a BMI of 30.2 and am grossly overweight even believe I may be obese. I have plucked up the courage today to take a photo of my belly fat, with the intention to use it as a way to scare myself into finally giving my weight loss a proper go so as to get rid of the spinal pain I am feeling please leave comments even if they are to tell me how stupid I have been to let myself get this fat Gail

[just1me Restart Sept 2024]

Hi there Bungiecat welcome to the forum. We wouldn't tell anyone they're stupid. We all got ourselves overweight although we may have had different triggers that got us here.

Losing weight can help with reducing spinal pain, but it does depend on the cause. Be careful with activities you choose to do. Cycling, cross trainer, and swimming are usually good. Pounding the pavements either walking or jogging is not so good.

Admin will be here soon to give you all the useful links to navigating this site. Stick around and join in the chat when you can. The daily diary is a great place to start reading, and also the what's happening threads.

We do a lot of mutual support in here and share our good days and bad days. It's ok to have a bad day, just accept it as part of being human. The longer you stay here the more you learn about managing bad days.

[Bungiecat in reply to just1me]

Thank you for this message I guess I am just feeling low at the moment as I am in pain and having photographed my fat it made me realised I am human but also that I desperately need to something about my weight as I am only 4ft11 in height and am medically obese according to my BMI reading today thanks again Gail

[just1me Restart Sept 2024 in reply to Bungiecat]

We all have our demons Gail. I am also obese and yearn to one day be "just fat". Once I get there I will work on getting to a better weight. I have the advantage of being 5ft8. So I have the advantage of height over you and yet I have allowed myself to have a BMI greater than yours. You are not as bad as you think, and you can do something about it.

Keeping a diary is a good idea as you can track how you are feeling, what you are doing along side of what you are eating. Just exercising is not enough, it's a lot of effort which not everyone can do and is only short lived, as you cannot exercise all day long. We have to help retrain how we relate to food, what it means to us. Is there something else we can do when we are down, lonely, celebrating....? The list of food based relationships is a very long one.

When we do turn to food for sustenance or support can we do it with healthier foods? Check out that daily diary, I find it very helpful.

[Bungiecat in reply to just1me]

Thank you for your kind words I feel that I may need the twelve week diet plan but need to speak to my GP first as I think part of the problem may be primenopause in my case Gail

[Fran182716 in reply to Bungiecat]

Hi Bungiecat it is worth checking with your dr but just wanted to reassure you the perimenopause doesn't stop you losing weight. You might have to be a bit more patient and not get too alarmed by your hormones making water weight and the scales jump around a bit but if you consistently burn a bit more than you eat the weight will still come off over time. I piled weight back on last year as I was limited in exercise and low in mood due to a bad back and I'm a little shorter and weigh a bit more than you at present (4ft 10, 10stone 10.5, age 53 and in the middle of perimenopause) . My back is much improved now with physio and a shoe orthotic ( it was due to an unknown leg length difference and rubbish abdominal muscles) whether yours will improve as you lose weight depends on the cause of your pain but either way having less extra tummy pulling on it has got to help! Good luck 😀

[Floppy123]

Hi Bungie and welcome. I think my BMI was over 31 when I started. You will find all like-minded people here with varying weights and goals but all with the hope and intention to move towards a healthier lifestyle.

I would say be kind to yourself, we all have weight issues for one reason or another. The main thing is we support each other to be a better version of ourselves, help each other to get to a place where we are comfortable with ourselves.

Maybe make a plan for yourself, write some realistic goals down, remember at the beginning it,s harder, you need time for the mindset to change. However there are no health benefits to being overweight so it will be a journey you won,t regret. Along the way, you do learn a lot about yourself too.

[Bungiecat in reply to Floppy123]

Thanks I need to get a journal and write down why I am doing this weight loss journey and why I feel the need to put myself down for getting so out of shape and yes fat at the same time Gail

[Floppy123 in reply to Bungiecat]

I think that,s a great idea Bungie, remember it,s not hard to beat yourself up but it,s very hard for some reason to be kind to ourselves.

I was obese, and as daft as it sounds self-care and kindness to ourselves is very much part of the journey. Because it is a lot to take on so the more you realise quite soon you are worth the healthier lifestyle and you are worth making changes for the easier it will be. Don't let the challenge be a hard-fought one, accept it will be difficult at times and keep reading the posts on the forum for encouragement and tips.

You can post on here anytime, especially if you are struggling. Someone is always around to give some advice or support. There is no judgement on this forum as that is not the aim, it,s about helping people who want to change their lifestyle.

Good luck Bungie, keep coming onto the forum, keep reading and start to believe you can do it.

[Bungiecat in reply to Floppy123]

Thank you Gail

[IndigoBlue61]

Hello and a very warm welcome back to the Weight Loss Forum Bungiecat

To refresh your memory and help you find your way around, and enjoy all the things we have on offer, please read the Welcome Newbies Post here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Take your time to read it carefully as it has lots of useful information.

I see you’ve already had some lovely responses from other members, I hope this will spur you on. The best advice I can give is to eat enough. If you are following the NHS 12 Week plan then the 1400 calorie target suggested is a just generic amount, please check your own personal calorie target using the BMI checker, it’s often higher than you think. We always advise starting towards the top of the range, being hungry is the biggest cause of weight loss failure

I also highly recomend coming onto the forum regularly, daily if you can, reading posts and replying to others. Being part of a community is proven to help weight loss.

For your own privacy and safety online we suggest that you lock your posts by selecting ‘followers in my community’ when you write a new post. Please read our security post here. healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Best wishes for your weight loss journey

Indigo 😊

[Todayisspecial]

Your not at all stupid, you are ready to start work on making a change so go for it, of course it won't be easy. Your mindset can be your worst enemy, so remember that and go for it. Don't punish yourself if you drift off course, refocus and keep on, nothing can stop you except yourself. I am on that journey too, and I salute you for making the first step

[Bungiecat in reply to Todayisspecial]

Thanks for your words of encouragement I am going to try loose 5kgs by the seventh of September when I have to see my GP about my weight Gail

[UnfitNoMore Visitor]

You haven’t been stupid Gail. At worst you enjoyed food and got sucked into the modern very bad diet. That’s not stupidity, far from it... coming here and deciding to do something about it and make the changes, that’s very intelligent.

[Bungiecat in reply to UnfitNoMore]

Thank you for your kind words I realised my major problem is chocolate especially at work I sometimes eat two or three bars a shift I really must stop. I guess this is how I got the belly fat I have on my picture but I now know I have the motivation to loose my weight Gail

[UnfitNoMore Visitor in reply to Bungiecat]

It’s hard to avoid, adverts everywhere, and it tastes so good, kicks in the endorphins and is thus very addictive. How people took the very healthy cacao fruit and made something so unhealthy out of it is beyond me. There are healthier chocolates out there, I like the 90% stuff, but it bitter rather than sweet. You have the motivation lose it so that’s a big part of the battle. Stay determined... you can do it.

[Bungiecat in reply to UnfitNoMore]

I feel I just have to stop I guess what will really cement it is when the doctor tells me that I am fat or obese this is the one and only time I will start to believe what I am seeing. Should I ask for a Caliper test as well as a body percentage check Gail

[UnfitNoMore Visitor in reply to Bungiecat]

Go get the test done... and yes I’d take both... and any other tests the doc can do. The more you know the better. Measure as many bits of you as you care and write them down. Sometimes the scales say no loss, your tummy says an inch lost, thighs say half an inch lost etc... so you have other victories to drive you on if you get a flat or a gain week.

[Bungiecat in reply to UnfitNoMore]

Thanks for this I will let you know what happens Gail

[UnfitNoMore Visitor in reply to Bungiecat]

👍. Stay strong and relaxed, take care, see you soon

[jemimaclutterbuck]

Good Morning.... I hug my tummy in the morning and realise this is all my own work. Not easy to motivate yourself when you love your food. Have you thought of plugging yourself into some good music and taking a fast walk or a bike ride every day? I thought I would hate it, but its amazing how good it makes you feel?

[Poopsy]

Hi Bungie,

I've not commented on the forum before but reading this thread this morning I felt I had to!

Firstly, as with all the above... You're not stupid but intelligent and brave enough to realise that it's time to start looking after yourself!!

And second... Just a bit of encouragement, while I appreciate I have 6inches on you, I have been losing weight really slowly (averaging 1lb per week) and have seen my BMI decrease with the numbers on the scales. But more importantly my general sense of wellbeing, motivation and self-esteem has grown.

Just don't worry about it, go slow and be be gentle on yourself. The weight will come off and if you make it about your whole lifestyle rather than seeing it as a 'diet' you may just learn to enjoy it and love yourself again too!

Good luck!!

[13Valerie]

A big warm welcome to you.

No-one is here to call you names or judge you. Instead you'll get lots of peer support and encouragement from people who know what you are going through.

Best wishes and post often 😍

[Twiggynot]

Hi bungiecat. You sound just about how I was feeling at the beginning of the summer. My being wa something like 29.9 . Every time I felt fed up about this I reached for a bag of sweets for comfort. I would carry on eating the sweets until they had all gone because that made me feel better ... for a time. So I started buying two bags of sweets! I have found it very difficult to sort myself out. I’m now on my way through the second stone of weight loss. I have started finding my jeans too big and my belt has gone up two notches. I have a long way to go and do have bad days but I keep thinking of how I looked at my fattest and that keeps me going! I really hope you find the support you need and can get rid of that nagging back pain. The physical and the psychological of weight gain are so intrinsically linked.

[DRS54]

Welcome, Bungiecat! Everyone has said everything that there is to say, so I just want to add a Hi and Best wishes to you. And maybe when you are at the doctors, your BMI will be under 30 - so then you'll be "just fat", no longer obese! (That's where I am at the moment, not by much, but it's one of my resolutions not to go over the magic 29.9 again, even when I slip up (more often than not at the moment, so I need to have a fresh start). All the best, Doris

[Bungiecat in reply to DRS54]

Hi Doris thanks for your kind words I guess I have been looking at my bare body in the mirror a lot lately and have been telling myself off a bit to much maybe I need to just wait to hear what my doctor tells me and stop over thinking his attitude to my weight gain I also think I may be primenopausal as well Gail

[Jof84]

We are all our own worse critics and the hardest thing off to accept ourselves and be happy with what we see. Joining this group is a step forward and that is good. We will all have up and down days but people on here help a lot and give you encouragement so try to stick with it. With regards to your back depending on the issue will depend what is good and not so good. Out maybe worth going to a osteopath or someone like that to try find out what is wrong. I've got 2 prolapsed discs and a dislocated disc. Ice works best for me over heat as I need to reduce swelling at times. It's ok at time and not great other times but cycling is a no no for me because of bending over unless I use a seated bike. Running not good but walking is okay as long as it doesn't hurt you. You back is designed to move and it's happiest doing that so try to avoid long periods of stillness either standing in one place or sitting etc. Definitely worth getting a professional to look at it though as constant pain can be so debilitating and depressing. If you can find cause and ways to improve it, it will make such an difference

[Bungiecat in reply to Jof84]

Thank you I guess I feel helpless, angry at myself for letting myself get so fat in the first place but I also think the photo of my bare belly will motivate me to do drastic things and hopefully the doctor will not be to rude about my weight but will advise me of how much I really need to loose Gail

[katy9617]

Oh honey you are not stupid...you are smart!!! You are you may have a problem and are now working to fix it. If the scare tactict works let me know..it never worked for me. Just relax, forgive yourself and listen. It happened to all of us here, the big aha moment when we realized we should do something to get healthy. Not get skinny but healthy and feel good. I'm 240 pounds and about the same bmi so I do understand. All of us get it. What I recommend is now you write down now what you want and go get it!!!! It sounds like u want to get healthy so read the posts, continue to post yourself and follow the plan. You CAN do this!!! Chin up!!!

[Jof84]

I know how you feel but it is easily done and over time I'm the weight slowly goes up till one day guess we open our eyes to it. I am same BMI as you and so unhappy looking at myself to. Something will hopefully trigger that change. Even to start with do little changes it will be that starter. Like make sure you walk up stairs not take escalators and do a little dance or stretches when brushing your teeth. Develop from there baby steps can be easier than those big chances until your ready x

[K9Hines 7lbs]

Hello Bungiecat, I like your name. Sounds like you are serious about losing weight. What a good idea to take a before picture. Maybe you could find a picture of you when you felt healthy and slimmer to spur you on too.