Secret Eaters: Good Morning everyone, I... - Weight Loss Support

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Secret Eaters

AlexandriaUK profile image

Good Morning everyone, I decided to create this thread after watching the above named TV program, I know that most of my eating issues are down to bad choices, ie a bag of crisps instead of a piece of fruit or a slab of chocolate fudge cake instead of maybe a small piece of fruit cake, its not about hunger for me because when I'm physically hungry I have a reasonably healthy meal, its about just finding myself having a coffee out and there in front of me is a vast assortment of delicious looking treats, as I said I'm not nescassarily hungry, its there and I feel a need, so, is there anyone out there who can hand on heart say, I don't eat enough to weigh this much and when calculating your daily calorie intake do you often forget that snack you ate and didn't really consider it to be of importance, like yesterday we went to buy paint at a well known store, even they have coffee shops now, I had a medium latte and a toasted tea cake with butter, better choice than the chocolate marshmallow cake I fancied so didn't think it was a really bad choice, then last night when I was doing my food focus I thought great, 1280 calories, told my other half and he said, what about your coffee and cake, oh and the two chocolates you had at friend's, oops so I added them all 562 worth and there I am, completely over my daily allowance, so just not taking into account the odd treat I am putting myself at risk of not losing weight, possibly gaining it and being innocencently guilty of being a secret eater.

Over the years I have been lucky in that my weigh has been stable, sometimes I have weighed less than would be considered healthy but now my choices are actually making it harder for me to get back to my desired target, its not that I'm a glutton, its that I sometimes forget how huge a small piece of food with a large calorie count can impact on my weight on a daily basis.

I have therefore decided that I will allow myself one treat per day, this has to be below 150 calories, so my healthy option's will have to be kept to about 1200 calories a day, very doable I know, so to put it bluntly, everything I eat will have to be counted and then maybe those extra few kg I'm struggling to lose will at last be gone, so long as I remember this every day I might just be down for Christmas

47 Replies
kfa_84 profile image
kfa_841 stone

Hi AlexandriaUK ! I definitely think there’s something to this, I couldn’t understand how I’d put on so much weight after breaking my foot but once I’d downloaded the MyFitnessPal app I relapsed just how much I was eating... It was fine when I was zipping around day after day and running regularly, but not when I was doing next to no exercise. Now I count absolutely everything I eat to keep within a healthy calorie linit and I’ve lost 9lbs over three weeks x

kfa_84 profile image
kfa_841 stone in reply to kfa_84


AlexandriaUK profile image
AlexandriaUK in reply to kfa_84

I use the same app, its Free LOL makes a change doesn't it, I did try just writing it all down at first but the apps good cause its always with you and in theory I shouldn't forget things, but I do, just had a big monthly treat, Chinese, think all those calories will blow my weeks calorie count, oh well start back tomoz, I'm glad your doing so well keep it up

Hi Alexandria,

A thought provoking post and it rings so true for me. When out we are surrounded by high calorie goodies in coffee shops and cafe’s, if out with friends we tend to share but it is so easy to ‘forget’.

I do like your idea, hope it works for you.


So do I, its so easy to fall into the just one treat and there so moreish aren't they, I do hope someone invents a pill that allows us to eat whatever we want, my luck it would be fattening LOL

flossie358 profile image
flossie3581lb in reply to AlexandriaUK

I’m with you on that one lol


The planned snack method definitely works. Also carrying something healthy at all times, or at least healthier e.g. mixed nuts and raisins, cereal bar etc. It sounds like you're working through this very logically. Good luck :)

I need more than luck, I need a miracle, I can get down to 64kg but that's as good as it gets no matter how hard I try I just seem to be stuck at that figure, I have tried going back up to 1700 for a few days then dropping back down but still no joy, maybe 64 is my magic number, I hope not because its too much for me so any suggestions on a postcard LOL

I'm stuck on 10st 5.75lb just a smidge under my max healthy bmi. I've been stuck there quite a while now though so I'm thinking maybe this is just what's healthy for my body :)

13Valerie profile image
13ValerieHealthy BMI in reply to Ruth_canal_runner

I'm with you ruth... stuck forever ( like years) at 11 stone 7. Just under my max BMI healthy range. I'm 5'8". I'd like to lose the half stone but have to work really hard and make so many sacrifices to do it. Then even if i look at creamy desserts in a recipe book it goes straight back on!

I was half a stone less at the beginning of the year, quite a bit under 10st but like you I bounced back to the 10st5 region (I even went momentarily up to 10st11 i.e. "overweight" as I'm only 5'4"). I've concluded my body is just happier here than below 10st. There's no health reason to push to be under 10st, just psychological/vanity... So I've settled on maintaining here for now. How about you? Do you still dream of losing that half stone?

13Valerie profile image
13ValerieHealthy BMI in reply to Ruth_canal_runner

Yes it's a dream but I'd need to work really hard to lose it and then maintain the loss....😊21st century problems! !

Yes exactly... it feels possible but maybe not entirely necessary :)

I'm sure like an earlier poster most of our obsession with losing weight is probably vanity, being a bit plumper does seem to be part of longevity, more skinnys are susceptible to illness and then have nothing to fight it with, so fat goes with being old???

Concerned profile image
ConcernedAmbassador in reply to Ruth_canal_runner

IMHO things like cereal bars that are peddled as 'healthier' have little to back the claims up. Sugar, syrup, HFCS, dried fruit (sugar), high glycaemic cereals, low-fat with any that is included being highly-processed vegetable oils that necessitate chemical extraction. Yum :-(

What do you think about 'nine bars'. I see cereal bars as a necessary evil if I'm on the move. They can be much better in terms of nuts/seeds content than the options on the counter at Costa etc. And I'm trying to choose the better ones these days, nine bars being a new favourite (especially while they're currently 65p in holland & barrett...) At home I have better snack options, lower carb with pure peanut butter etc, but none of them very portable... all that glucose and syrup seems to be a very convenient form of glue...

Concerned profile image
ConcernedAmbassador in reply to Ruth_canal_runner

I hadn't heard of 'nine bars'; they don't appear on my reticular activating system.

My digestion works well for me in that I seldom get hungry, so when I eat it's more of a proactive measure, to prevent me getting depleted at inopportune moments.

My lifestyle doesn't require me to have portable food very often recently, so I haven't been very adventurous, sticking to reliable nuts and oatcakes, or sweet potato usually, and I don't snack between meals.

My body seems to need little and often, it's always been like this, I'm often in town for long days or out on my bike, so I can get caught out if I don't make sure I have a healthy (healthier) option in my bag. We're all different though!

Concerned profile image
ConcernedAmbassador in reply to Ruth_canal_runner

I did use to be like that before I shifted the balance of what I eat.

If you get the opportunity, it's worth looking at some of the literature about fasting. Essentially, when fasting the body only derives about 13% from carbs, and the process of autophagy enables the body to digest and resynthesise protein from its tissues, getting rid of the bad and re-using the good. Fat is the go-to fuel reserve for normal/non-intense activity.

Now, whilst there is no benefit to sustaining fasting for days at a time and it can seldom be described as desirable, eating closer to this 'fasting state' macro-nutrient ratio means it is much easier for our body to switch from eating to fasting because the hormones and enzymes used are in similar quantities.

You might say 'if you don't lose it, don't use it' :-)

I can understand the theory of this. But I think I've found a way that works for me plus I'm healthy with it. :)

I had a couple of what I though were a healthy option on hols, shocked or what to check calorie content, stupid amount, the one I had was nearly 300 for 45gram bar, I had 2 or 3 a day while out so I didn't snack on rubbish LOL

elliebath profile image

We may always have to count calories to avoid weight gain, although as time goes on we all rather hope that it will just become instinctive .

However from my experience instinct isn't enough, and the only way to lose is to count absolutely everything.

Although I am in longterm maintenance I still count calories every time I gain more than 3 pounds.

Use either myfitnespal or the NHS calorie checker but DO include everything, even the milk in your tea or the drop of oil in your cooking. And if you really crave sugar then have a 2 finger kit kat or Freddo. Better still, have a spoonful of cream or peanut butter , that curbs my sweet tooth.

Yea I know, its pretty grueling to think that every day is diet day, I have been told not too look at it as a diet but to think of it as just a lifestyle change, I cannot maintaine weight if I go above 1200 cal a day, I think it doesn't help as I'm slightly restricted mobility wise so can't even get on the treadmill to help lose the extra few kilos

13Valerie profile image
13ValerieHealthy BMI in reply to AlexandriaUK

Alexandria we are the lucky ones really... having friends to eat with and being out in places where there are tempting treats.... Unfortunately for some people a time of illness is when appetite is lost and weight loss becomes a problem. Enjoy and celebrate every day and take the need to be careful of your calories as a sign if a good life well lived😊

If I'm out and eat something I send a text to myself so I dont forget to add it to my log at home. If I dont write it down i dont lose weight, simple as that. I don't think its true 'forgetting', its something else !

And I have planned treats, its the only way I can do it. Favourites of the moment are: 2 finger kitkats (105 cals), Alpro almond yoghurt with a sprinkle of honey nut cornflakes on top (100 cals), various ice lollies around 100 cals such as solero.

Good luck!

Yea its definitely something else with me its enjoying food but in denial that I have eaten it, I didn't need to diet ever in my life before this last 7/8 years but now have to watch every grain of rice, oh well I will keep on perceivering, I hope I can keep it up

JiminyCricket profile image
JiminyCricket7lbs in reply to AlexandriaUK

I'm the same to be honest. I had my daughter 9 years ago and just never lost the weight. When I started on here I was heavier than just before I had her!!

Maybe it's age, I'm 45.

This forum is brilliant for helping you stick to it!

I agree, I find its good to have others to speak to going in the same direction, I so hope we can all lose the amount we need to lose, loads LOL

Can completely agree with this, I just feel like im losing no weight... I note down on my fitness pal all the big things I eat but probably would forget to note the two small Jaffa cakes I ate quickly after work.. Its so hard :( I do think though it is not a lifestyle to count every calorie that you eat. Its just ridiculous

I'm glad I don't like Jaffa cakes, my downfall is crisps if I'm honest and I can go ages and then cannot survive without a pkt or two, I actually think that not all calories are equal, 132 for a bag of crisps but I think they turn into 300 in my tummy LOL

JiminyCricket profile image
JiminyCricket7lbs in reply to ashortland

It's relearning how to eat the right amount though. You won't need to do it forever. But if we all already knew how to eat the right amount we wouldn't be here!! (By 'know' I don't mean just on an intellectual level - I mean actually doing it!!)

Do you write it all down.....I find it impossible to keep track unless I write down all I eat and at ww this month being tracktober encourages writing all you eat and posting each night and the increased amount of lbs lost is incredible and really does make you think twice and plan what to eat x

I have and still feel i am one, I eat because I feel anxious and worried over my health, Im trying hard to lose weight not gain it, tomorrow is my weighin so we will see. I go walking a lot just now, but I have got a problem, I come back sometimes very sweaty, sometimes excessive, so that doesn't help, I'm going away in a fortnight on a holiday, I love where I'm going to, but I don't have that feeling just now. So you see why I sometimes eat at wrong times, try to make myself feel better.

Hi how did weigh in go, I hope it was better than mine, I seem to have slipped up this week, I have decided that I will start being strict again starting tomoz, I'm considering 5 and 2 for a while, I haven't tried it yet but my daughter in law has been doing it for a couple of months and has lost all her excess weight, don't think I can go to the 500 a day but possibly go to 700 and 1600 on the non fast days, does anyone think that would work, I do get low glucose when I don't eat enough though.

Well I'm type2 diabetic so I have to watch sometimes what I eat, but the last three years my diabetes has been the same, so that's not to bad, but you see I get awfully bad feelings, and that might make me eat more, the weight I want off, the problem with me is it all goes to my stomach, so that is my problem, I'm not getting any younger, I retired five years ago, so it is harder when you get older.

I am sorry you were one of the unlucky ones that ended being diagnosed with diabetes, it happens to the best of them, carrying weight round the middle does seem to be a precursor to it as well, a year and a bit ago my other half was told he was pre with blood tests, 3 months later after me getting him on a diet he has lost the stone which was laying round his middle and back to normal, he's been below any danger levels for over a year and thankfully has kept the weight off, in fact he is really good, I think it was a lightbulb moment for him.

How are you managing your weight or not as the case with most of us seems to be, I think as we get older we don't really need the amount we eat but its become a habit.

I haven't got a huge middle, but when I was younger to forties, I was slim no middle fat, but I found food which to me is good and bad.

But I will have soldier on like your other half.

I was at 13st 7lbs a few years ago, so try to get to 14.

Maybe try for smaller steps and you will find its not such a strain on your will power, maybe go for 3/4 kg at a time, our bodies change massively as we age and things tend to gravitate to the floor LOL

I just had a thought, I'm not old at 60mumble mumble but neither am I young, is there an age we reach where we just except the fact our tummies are plump, our arms are flabby etc, that we can no longer were clothes that are well fitted like jeans and snug tops, a time when we just age gracefully, allow the grey to take over from the brown and be totally at ease with it all, my mother in law eats what ever she likes, doesn't care that all her clothes are elasticated and her hair is grey.

She is 89 so doesn't it matter then, do we strive for slimness to please ourselves or others.

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to AlexandriaUK

Hi AlexandriaUK I'm 65 (66 tomorrow so I'd better get used to it) and like you I wonder about getting the balance right. I think there are some things I have to accept, but I know I'm at the point of being way over what I "should" be, from the health and from the appearance point of view, which is why I decided last week to join here and do something about it.

I decided when I was 60 to stop colouring my hair, and in the past year got a shorter, more flattering (I think) cut; we all do what we think suits us and I'm happy with that. I also got two teeth crowned; they had old fillings which were discoloured and I really didn't like them, tho' I don't suppose anyone else was bothered.

So to weight and size: I'm 13st 3 which is the heaviest I've ever been, tho' I have been here before a couple of times. My clothes are really tight and I'm determined not to buy a bigger size so it's a choice between looking like a sack of potatoes tied in the middle/Michelin man and losing weight. I know I need to set realistic goals and be happy with successes and not too self critical, but without counting every single calorie I'd easily go off track. My meals have never been too bad, it's the bits in between that cause the problem, plus being so inactive, and that's going to be the biggest challenge for me.

Good luck to you and me and all of us! Mary

Happy birthday for tomoz, I hope you are doing something nice and that if it includes food its all green or completely clear as I'm told by nutritionalist that there the lowest calorie content, unless its green chocolate LOL I agree, if your unhappy about your weight shape etc its time to take control and strive for a shape or weight you can live with or at least tolerate, I love the idea of short hairstyles but mines long and it would not please my other half if I had it chopped off, to be honest I quite like it because I have so much choice of how to wear it, I'm so glad you have joined our little thread and we or I LOL will be here to support you in your quest, good luck cause I think we need it

Hope your having an excellent birthday, eat what you fancy, its a special day

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to AlexandriaUK

G&T and a little M&S trifle - and some food of course!

Grapes and Tomatoes, that's excellent, I'm so proud of you that you managed to forgo the alcoholic beveredges and that you only had a trifle amount of food, I bet your feeling really chuffed, I wish I had your will power

13Valerie profile image
13ValerieHealthy BMI

This is a fantastic post well done AlexandriaUK it summarises exactly the eating trap we fall into. I love your phrase 'innocently guilty' ... its just so easy to eat a little too much every day and only a pound gain a month is a stone in a year.. thanks for the reminder

That's exactly what's happened, I was young and slim and then one day I woke up looked in the mirror and saw my mother, older slightly wrinkly and erm chubbier, it sneeks up on us in a cloaking device (too much star trek, didn't see it first time round LOL) and wham we are nearly engulfed with grief for our youth and our once slender figure, determined though that if I can't turn the clock back, surely I can ditch the pounds, sorry kg

OK so just an update, I am now down to 64 kg, my nemesis weight, it didn't help that I went out for a meal on Wednesday for partners birthday and had a full 12 ounce ribeye, it was absolutely gorgeous, can't remember the last time I ate anything that big, its years but I decided to splurge, there was also lots of little titbits on the side like some amazing fries, three cooked ones and I forgot to mention something called onion loaf, but other than that I was really good, think though i should also declare the crème caramel and the decadent chocolate pot and ERM some prosecco to wash it down with, in total that little lot came to a staggering 2300,but I have been really good since and I'm happy that without any add ons since I hit the 64 this morning, can I get past that figure I don't know and sadly at sons tonight for birthday dinner but I have eaten very little up to now and I'm having chicken and salad, no wine, oh well maybe a small glass and then the difficult part will be refusing the pudding, daughter in law buys the most amazing puddings out, she does know I'm trying to stear clear so she might be kind and get something healthier like fruit, can but dream.

I hope your all doing well and that your tummy is getting used to less bulk and that your Pound's are all in your pocket.

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