Running through water ...

I work hard and love my job but I can't do household duties without a serious cost to my emotional well being. It isn't laziness. I actually feel physical pain when I even think about doing some tasks. The pain I feel causes me to feel exhausted and I need to lie down. I have spoken to my GP about this pleasure and pain experience. She said that I felt appreciated at work and gained emotional reward from conducting my duties. Mostly the only time I am able to do domestic work is in the 2-3 hours before starting work. I suddenly become a changed person with a whole different emotional spectrum. I live in a house so this "paralysis" is a real problem.

[Hidden]

I feel somewhat similar. The house becomes such a mess and the tasks seem so big that I often give up and leave it all undone. I get so tired except for at work. I work so much and I am exhausted when I get home. Too exhausted to do anything else. What I do sometimes is to sit and watch TV and clean alot during each commercial. Before I know it I have accomplished alot. Maybe you could check with your doctor about an antidepressant. Sometimes lethargy and unmotivation can be a sign of depression.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I do suffer from depression and I think this state interacts intimitely with my physical problems. My depression has decreased since menopause and has become less acute, but I occasionally still have suicidal thoughts. I attempted suicide twice almost thirty-five years ago and survived but the nature of the feelings, though having undergone a kind of metamorphosis, still linger. I've tried antidepressants but they didn't do anything and I tried to get CBT through the NHS because I started suffering from OCD but it was declined. The woman I spoke to recommended a neuroleptic but I refused it due to the possible side effects. I'm over the OCD now though an underlying structure could be the cause of my domestic problems.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with this problem, A-b-c-d. Didn't your GP offer any advice, or assistance? Maybe CBT would be able to help you?

[Hidden in reply to moreless]

I tried to get it through the NHS but it was declined. Also, the professional I spoke to asked me to sign a document saying that my conversations with a Psychiatrist could be used for academic purposes. I declined this. She recommended a neuroleptic instead of an antidepressant but I declined this.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to Hidden]

Could you seek a second opinion? There must be some help available for you.

I'm afraid I can't comment on the medication, as I don't know enough about it, but she must have had her reasons. How about speaking to a pharmacist about the pros and cons of neuroleptics?

[Hidden in reply to moreless]

After the attempt to use my psychological disadvantages as a learning aid for unnamed agents I was disinclined to trouble the mental health services further and I shan't in the future. I did purchase some books on Depression and OCD but I have only read one on OCD. They are on my reading list though.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to Hidden]

I suspect that you were at a teaching hospital and the 'academic purposes' were for psychiatrists in training. It's the only way to get practical experience and is true for all medical professionals. They did at least give the the chance to opt out, which you did.

I'm sure reading the books will help, but if you're unable to find the answer, I hope you'll reconsider your decision and seek further assistance

[Hidden in reply to moreless]

No, it wasn't a teaching hospital where the media can be present. It was a rudimentary service which treated drug addicts and other more serious community cases. I consider treating vulnerable people this way highly unethical. I feel sorry for anyone who falls into that trap. Society reaps what it sows. On a different note the books do make me feel more optimistic. I've been doing housework and have actually been enjoying it. Thank you for taking an interest in a person's welfare.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to Hidden]

I'm very pleased to hear that the books have been able to help you, A-b-c-d

[ChoosingLife]

Have you tried talking therapies? In my area its called that but in some it is IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) Tough stuff you are dealing with. Exercise is helpful and although you have such a lot on it will be good to carve out and prioritise a bit of time to do something positive for you. I completely relate re housework although I suffer no physical pain. I don't suppose your hard work earns you enough to get a cleaner? Sometimes its good to just cut off the thought that you SHOULD be good at doing housework if you are finding that your gifts are more suited to your other work.

[Hidden]

I have thought of hiring a cleaner ...

[DartmoorDumpling Restart Feb 2024 in reply to Hidden]

When I worked in an office with two young children, I had a neighbour who was unemployed, and she was only too happy to do a couple of hours cleaning on a friday, just once a week for me. This meant at the end of the week, I came home to a sparkling, hoovered and tidy house which really set me up for a weekend with the family instead of a tired and grumpy mum spending all Saturday catching up on housework. She didn't charge me a huge sum either.

[Hidden in reply to DartmoorDumpling]

I'd like to find someone like that and have been unsuccessful. Cleaning companies charge a fortune so I've just had to accept doing it myself. I've started and have actually gotten a kick out it ! 💃

[DartmoorDumpling Restart Feb 2024 in reply to Hidden]

Well done for getting started... lots of approval coming your way!

Best way to get motivated to clean is to invite a friend or relative over to a lovely healthy dinner - all of a sudden, the urge to make the place sparkle becomes ever so strong......(but then of course you have got to get cooking too)

[Hidden in reply to DartmoorDumpling]

How insightful! You seem to understand. Nice to make things sparkle but not too sure about the cooking.

I don't have a single friend ... I don't have a friend and haven't had one for many years - just my two little cats.

One polishes when one expects a friendly visitor. Saying this, I do have relatives who visit and this requires the military formation of "rapid movement" and "fighting in squares" just before they arrive.

[tamara12]

sorry to hear about your situation. maybe you could find out if there are other ways of affordable therapeutic options?

[Hidden]

It could cost as little as £20 to hire someone for 1-2 hours to clean your house each week. I've had cleaning jobs in the past and I can confirm it's much easier (and quicker) to clean other people's houses than to clean your own. Just get a cleaner! Check the ad cards in your local newsagent/supermarket.

Re therapy/counselling (having read the replies above) I really recommend getting in touch with your nearest branch of Mind. It might not be straight away but they will be able to offer you a free course of therapy sessions, and it is definitely kept confidential. They can also advise just about the practical aspects of getting help, what to ask your gp about re medication etc.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

A great big thank you for this ! I'll look into MIND if things get really bad. At present being in a weight loss clinic has cheered me up especially since I have seen the positive result of losing a stone. ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi there again !

You will be pleased to know that I have just contacted MIND in the hope of gaining some insight into my psychological problems which put me at greater risk of developing yet another metabolic disorder. I have a positive feeling about this organisation and I would like to thank you for recommending it. I will keep you informed as to my progress.

Thank you again !