Over welled

[Ninatj]

I know I'll get po poed for this but I really hate Christmas ! All the money we spend and the food we're told we need to eat, it's all too much. It's so unfair for someone who has no self control. I just sat and eat 7 choc digestives just because I could and they where there . Can anyone help me to learn to control myself please!!!

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

Hi and welcome, Ninatj

I'm afraid that we can offer guidance, support, motivation and inspiration, but you have to provide the willpower!

Take a look at the Pinned Posts section, to the right of your screen (bottom, if you're using a mobile) and have a look at the Welcome Newbies thread.

Look at the Topics section beneath that, for posts that could answer any questions you may have. Consider joining any, or all, of our challenges, as they're fun and motivating.

Join us for the Monday Group weigh-in. If you follow Zest and myself, you'll be notified when we post the threads. The latest weigh-in thread can always be found in the Events section, to the right of the home page and remains open until 6pm on Fridays.

Be active on the forum, as that's where we exchange ideas and get our daily dose of motivation and inspiration.

Wishing you all the very best as you start your journey to health and happiness

[Ninatj]

So I was tied and needed sleep another day to try again (clinical depression can be such a bitch .) I guess it's not the end of the world if I eat some biscuits I'm still here still have a roof over my head and a hubbie what loves loves me 😀

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to Ninatj]

Glad you are sounding a little happier. 😊 I agree to a point about the over commercialisation of Christmas, and when we see all these adverts trying to make us buy more food I try to tell myself these companies just want to make a profit, they don't care about my health!

Instead Christmas should be about happy times spent with loved ones, for me it's a walk on the beach with my hubby and my dog. Our children all work a lot over Christmas so we grab a quick visit when we can, and feel thankful they are all happy and healthy 😊

Losing weight and finding will power is a complicated thing, try to have faith in yourself and your ability to change the way you eat 😊 Have a look a the links moreless suggested and if you have any questions just ask, we are a friendly bunch 😊

[Ninatj in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Thank you I'm going to try some of the links and see what happens ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Ninatj]

We can all blame any celebration in any culture for our weight gains. I found reading about 'Mindfulness' very helpful. Best wishes and hope this helps you.

Mags

[Ninatj in reply to Hidden]

I'm not blaming my weight on any celebration . I'm saying that the pressure that advertising to by that perfect gift .to make this the best Christmas ever is over welling for someone like me and I get lost in my own head then forget why I want this then it all spirals out of control .then I feel bad then I eat it's not easy keeping control there are a lot of factors I fine hard to keep straight .

[Diana in reply to Ninatj]

Please don't give in to pressure, buy what you need , and if poss avoid the sugar laden junk!

Christmas unless very Christian, does not hold the meaning it did for most, be kind to you and your body

[Hidden in reply to IndigoBlue61]

I totally agree with the fact that Christmas is over commercialised, we are all sold this wonderful idea of indulgent times with lots of parties, rich food and alcohol when in reality a lot of the worlds population is starving there are still people homeless. it is all a far cry from the suoermarkets competing for the best new christmas advert !!

Of course then in Jan the dieting groups all jump on the bandwagon to make us lose the weight

Yes we have to get that willpower to control it and this is where this forum helps.

I remember Christmas as a child they were much simpler

I am working Christmas day looking after really poorly people who can not get home from hospital but remember there are other's out there doing good befriending lonely people offering hot food to the homeless

That is the real spirit of Christmas

[Ninatj in reply to Hidden]

❤️ That's how I see thing too wish more people saw the love and not the money

[Diana in reply to Hidden]

Very sad that it's weight loss and hols in Jan, or before, madness

[Hidden in reply to Ninatj]

I have been doing HealthyTanja possitivity challenge and it really helped me

Seeing the last bit of your post - I have a roof over my head and a loving hushand ☺ appreciate what is any little happiness you can find ☺.

I lost my mum who was my best friend this year and got very very low and this will be the first wihout her but the challenge helped me get back on my feet and Tanya knows it !

God bless to any one whos lost a loved one this year

[HealthyTanja]

Hello Ninatj

I am sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed by Christmas. It is indeed a hard time for many especially as it has become so twisted by commercialism and society. This is why I started a Happiness Challenge last month and you are more than welcome to join is you like. We do small exercises everyday that help your mindset shift into positive mode, which makes us emotionally stronger.

On another note, I have just read a passage in a book about abstinence vs moderation. It says that some people naturally do better with abstaining and when they try to moderate themself instead they go all out into binges. This is very true for me and a great explanation for why another recent challenge I set for myself is working so well.

When eating sweets, chocolate, ice cream, biscuits ect, I have no sense of moderation and frequently blow all my otherwise good efforts out of the park. 25 days ago after a particularly bad binge I decided to go cold turkey sober for the rest of November. Everything went off the menu and I have not touched anything sweet since, including Nutella at breakfast! Once my brain knew that there was no option of having a "treat" (sweets are not actually treats if you think about it!) and once I started using the alcoholism terminology of being sober, my cravings diminished. November is now finished but I have decided to keep going until Christmas day, because FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I do not need sweets and whatever Christmas "treats" I'll have after Boxing day will be enough to make up for all of December and lets be honest I would do that anyway!

I hope this helps

[Hidden in reply to HealthyTanja]

Yes I agree with your mindset shift that's why I recommended a mindfulness book in an earlier comment. Christmas has never presented a problem for me but Easter with nothing but chocolate everywhere has in the past been a problem - it too is hyped up by commercialism and it's true meaning is misplaced just as much as Christmas is.

[achievingit 2 stone in reply to HealthyTanja]

Interesting post. I used the same way of thinking to quit drinking. Realised I can't do moderation, so I have to abstain completely. 3 months without a drop now and actually don't miss it at all.

[HealthyTanja in reply to achievingit]

That's great achievingit I'm glad to hear you were strong enough to realise what works for you. Congratulations on reaching 3 month sober! What are your plans for the future? Have you given up alcohol for good (I did that with Diet Coke 5 years ago and with all other sodas at the beginning of this year) or will you allow planned exceptions (I am making it clear that I am abstaining from sweets while in England but may take a planned break from my habit while on holiday)? The good thing with planned exceptions is that it puts you in control and as long as you know that when the break is over you return to your habit and keep it going everyday without stopping (until the next planned exception) they can be a great tool to keep on track in the long run. Good luck with your sober habit

[achievingit 2 stone in reply to HealthyTanja]

I'm not sure what my plans are really! I have no plans to drink alcohol, but I'm also never saying never!! Going to try and not think about it and see what happens!

[Dietbunny2 7lbs]

I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have Ninatj - it is great to have the new posts to read each day and with such wise and supportive inputs like HealthyTanja 's one does feel inspired to do keep going.

Regarding Christmas, many years ago I surprised myself by losing half a stone without even trying and with hindsight decided that it must have been because I was eating cold turkey and vegetables for a couple of days. So my strategy this Christmas is going to be to find the healthy bits that I like of all the traditional fare (fortunately I love Brussel sprouts, for example!) and make sure I have plenty of those available. I'm not intending to completely deny myself my favourite sweet things, but will choose and plan ahead which days I will include them.

My personal challenge for the period will be not to gain weight - if I manage to be any lighter on Jan 1st than I am on December 17th I shall be very pleased with myself!

I do wish you the best of luck and hope that you enjoy Christmas with your lovin' hubby!

[Sue-S Visitor]

Do you have to buy all the food? Luckily we are going out for Christmas lunch, so I don't have to worry about that this year. Other than that I am not buying anything special!! (shock). We always have biscuits and alcohol bought us. We have alcohol, crisps and chocolate biscuits all year round anyway and will eat our normal meals. Maybe a little more cheese than usual. Easy for us as my husband doesn't bother about mince pies, Christmas cake etc so I don't make them. Also my daughter is not at home now so I don't have to worry about her. Christmas is only one day after all. Try to relax a little if you are out for a meal and count other days as "normal working days" ie eat what you normally would. I know it is easy for me to say, but you'll feel so much better if you don't overeat. Try consciously making the decision in the morning that this is a "work day" and therefore I don't eat naughty things. Mentally decide before each meal what it will be and stop at that. Try to keep busy!! Enjoy Christmas too though x

[Ninatj in reply to Sue-S]

Do you have any kids at home

[Cazl]

I so agree with you. We over indulge with food, calories and money. As a single parent for a few years it was disgusting to watch parents competing.

We are having lobster tails on offer in Sainsburys for a low fat treat on Xmas Day. I've resisted stocking up on tins of sweets when I see them on offer because they get guzzled like your digestives. We ate a box of Maltesers last weekend and there's no way that they are a lighter guilt free as I looked at the packet afterwards..😞

Some kind lady suggested sugar free jelly with fresh fruit in it for snacking on something sweet flavoured and it's been wonderful. It is hard and miserable though and you do have my best wishes.

Another lady started a no eating in the lounge policy. She has to sit at the kitchen table, and it has worked wonders for her!

Good luck,

Cazl

[Ninatj in reply to Cazl]

Thank you your very kind

[Hidden]

It is very unfair if you're trying so hard but you struggle to resist (if it was easy to resist things I'd be a size 10 by now!). the only way to conquer it is to not have them in your house. and convince yourself that you really really want to do this, even then you'll have slip ups but you just have to bounce back!

[ali-may]

Hi Ninatj, Do what feel is right for you and yours. Don't feel you have to do it all eg. these presents and that food. It's so easy to get caught up with all the hype. Make a plan to suit YOU over the festive season. Make some menus and gift lists and enjoy doing Christmas your way. Go for it!! you will be surprised that you can/ will enjoy without the stress.

[Ninatj in reply to ali-may]

Thank you Ali-may I think your right I need to step back and tackle one thing at a time . Like you say make a plan and rope in help where I can . I have two teen age daughters ands a husband about time they pulled some weight too.

[Annabelle_Bebbs]

For so many years I've been the one in the household that eats up everything like the huge pile of snickers from the Celebrations tub because no one else likes them - this year I've decided to approach it slightly differently - my Christmas present to myself will be to buy some really luxury foodie stuff that I love in small quantities and eat quality not quantity but have little treats (with the emphasis on little) because it's Christmas and why should I miss out? The snickers will go straight in the bin this year!

[miopus]

Ninatj

You should not be poo pooed for your opinion of Christmas. It can be a huge strain, but they say a turkey dinner with vegetables is a very healthy meal, so what's wrong with choosing that for Christmas??

No-one puts a gun to your head and tells you you must have certain things. Turn the adverts off the TV. This is the supermarkets' main opportunity to get you doing your Christmas shopping in their supermarket. Retail is tough.

If you look at it as just one day, it does not build up in your head as a period of completely gorging on booze and biscuits and sweets. If you have booze, biscuits and sweets as presents ration them out or hide them away like a squirrel for the months following and think how lucky you are to have them, or share with others - whatever you want to do.

We went to a candelight Christmas do some years ago where the mulled wine (which I normally like) tasted just like Germolene. So we discreetly threw it away. You must do what is right for you, not what people tell you to do. Celebrate Christmas how you want it.

[Annabelle_Bebbs in reply to miopus]

Am tempted to ask how you knew what germolene tastes like, but I know what you mean - it's so easy to eat junky stuff that you're not that bothered about because it's there or you don't want to waste it - once you get into the way of keeping track of your calories there's no worse feeling than that of wasting precious calories on something that isn't absolutely wonderful - 'spend' those precious monitored calories on something that's worth them

[miopus]

You're so right Annabelle_Bebbs ! I know I have the capability to eat excessive amounts of unsuitable things "just because they're there", which is then going to ruin my new healthy eating lifestyle. Sometimes I resist admirably, sometimes I really can't. Christmas and also New Year is difficult, because there is the perception that everyone else seems to be out partying with total abandonment. I find it helps to have something really fantastic if you're going to have something at all, because in my view it's a pretty miserable life depriving yourself totally otherwise. Going out to a Xmas dinner tonight, and I'm looking forward to what promises to be a super-indulgent special chocolate dessert which I've known about for months as we had to choose our menu beforehand and I'm really looking forward to enjoying it.

Another way of doing it is simply to eat less, share your portion of chocolate digestive biscuits with someone else, for instance, or just have one a day (and a piece of fruit to balance it up !) Some people on this forum eat a little Freddo and look forward to this as their little treat at the end of a healthy eating day, or one little piece of chocolate rather than the whole lot. If you look at calories in a pile of chocolate digestives its alarming!!!

[Cat33 Restart Dec 2023]

I have terrible problems with willpower it's so hard isn't it

I just don't buy anything that I know I won't be able to resist it's no good me buying a packet of chocolate digestives thinking maybe I could have one as a treat now and then it just doesn't work So they stay in the supermarket

I found that writing down all the things that will make me feel great by losing weight really helps I keep reading it Cutting out pictures from magazines of outfits that I'd love to wear too Also if you write all the things that are horrible by being a bit overweight too that's a bit of a wake up call and will spur you on I had an unkind comment yesterday so that's really spurred me on to think "I'll show her " Not that I want anymore remarks 😡

Having depression is hard for you too I'm sorry that you suffer from that as losing weight seems to be the last thing you want to tackle

I was getting very low a few weeks ago as I'm in a lot of pain and it's been going on for months All I focussed on was I cant do this and I can't do that I joined Tanjas Happiness Challenge and I know this sounds dramatic but it's literally changed my life There is so much I have to be grateful for and lots of little happy moments through the day

Don't be too hard on yourself and think of all the nice things about Christmas other than the food they advertise family friends decorations etc etc Then in January you can really focus on getting the willpower back we are all here to give you support and we so understand

I'm sure you will post after Christmas that you had a really nice one

You have had loads of replies so you know we all care on this forum

All the very best

😀

[Joanna2211]

I agree. If I see one more to advert with a table full of food and drink I might just scream ! I do like Xmas, new year etc, but too much pressure is placed on people to create a perfect Xmas day. Surely we should just buy what we need and can afford, and not get suckered in to more bad eating habits. Rant over ! Merry Xmas to one and all. Prefer Boxing Day anyway. X

[miopus]

I have to admit, I'm quite fed up with it already if I'm honest. I like the trampolining animals in the John Lewis ad, but already dreading the 30 peopled Christmas dinner with a load of people I don't even know (we've all been told to bring a dish of something).

[Ninatj]

Iv been away for a few days trying to get my head in the game so to speak . So now I'm ready to take on Christmas iv been though so heathy recipes for xmas and have some really good ideas so feel much more hopefull now thank you to everyone who've posted in support it means a lot to know you all care hopefully this will keep me going over xmas . Just don't want to gain any weight . Staying the same weight is all I ask this xmas . ❤️