A bit of Fun, to brighten Everyone Up. - Vasculitis UK

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A bit of Fun, to brighten Everyone Up.

AndrewT profile image
6 Replies

At Headway, the Day Centre I Attend, we had a Creative Writing afternoon. Fairly 'Free Form', we needed to include- at least- two Places and two 'Characters'/ People. I wrote the following, that made them smile...…

"So the 'INTERCONNECTOR' is ready then?" asked Paul, with surprise. "Ok let's Try It Out" "Tom Suggested Ancient Rome, or maybe, The Aztecs though I would like to see The Colossus Of Rhodes myself" commented Sally.

The group continued, the construction of the 'Time-Space Manipulator'....Time Machine in Layman's Terms. Soon Paul, Tom and Anne were in TROY! "How the Blue Blazes did we get here, this isn't ROME!" asked Tom. "Beats me" replied Anne "I'm Certain that I gave you the correct Co-ordin....Oh Heck! 27-43-51 NOT 21.....Sorry Peeps" "Anyone want to meet Helen Of Troy.....Just a thought, let's get out of here!" "Sorry No Can DO that for, at least, half a hour. The 'Megga Packs' have to Re-charge first".

Half An Hour Later

"Well this has been, how can I put this Politely...Boring! Can we GO now please?" "Ok and I've Double Checked these, '32-34-87, Poke 43 and 27" said Anne." "Stand By everyone" said Tom touching the Controls.

So it was that THEY WERE ALL eaten by Lions, having Materialised in the Area.....Still at least they got to Rome!

I raised a few smiles, when I read this out, and I hope that I have, managed to, do the same here. Maybe we could start a 'Story Telling Forum', a good idea or no?

AndrewT

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I'm still giggling Andrew. :-)

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT in reply to

Hello Poemsgalore1,

How are you, my friend, I 'Asked After' you not long ago- maybe on another Page/ Forum, as I hadn't Heard from you in ages. I'm glad that my first contact, with you (in a while anyway), has made you Smile.

Do you remember, the Great Late,Tommy Cooper? He did a 'Sketch' about going Deep Sea Diving, at the Bottom was a man swimming 'Unaided'. Cooper wrote him a note 'What are you doing here', the man replied 'I'm drowning'!

One, Two, Three, Four- Mary at the Kitchen door, eating Cherries Off....a PLATE, for Heaven's Sake! That Floor hadn't been cleaned for Weeks, Months (Years?). Little Bo Peep, has lost her Sheep....Now be honest, since she Is a SHEPARD, do YOU believe her claim of Virginity? If 'Four and Twenty', that's two dozen to you and me, Blackbirds really WERE 'Backed in A Pie', can you imagine the SMELL? What sort of 'Beans' do Monsters eat? Human 'Beans'!

That lot, above that is, was Yesterday's 'Twaddle'....I think that I can do WORSE today......Where do you Weigh Wales?...At a Wale Weigh Station! Where do you Weigh Pies?....Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Weigh A Pie! Two fish are swimming along, suddenly they 'Crash' into a brick wall. One, turns to the other, and says "Oh Damm!" Two snakes are going along, one turns to the other and askes "Are we 'Poisonous'" "I haven't a clue" replies the second "why do you ask?". To which the first replies "I've just 'Bitten' my lip".

Ones for the Children...Ask them "What do Giraffes have that, no other animal has" "Easy" they will say "a long neck". However you reply "No, that's not right, try again". The children will continue to guess Variously 'Long Legs', 'Big Feet', 'Long Nose' and so on- ALL, of which, you say are 'Wrong'. Finally they will 'give up' at, which point you say "Baby Giraffes", the Children Groan, Scream or Cry and, their Parents, Throw YOU into 'The Pit Of Doom.' What is worse than finding a Maggot, in an apple?.....Finding HALF a Maggot! A little girl comes running into her Mother, after her first day a School "Mummy, Mummy, MUMMY....God made me All Wrong....He did, He did, He did!" sobs the Child. "What makes you think THAT sweetheart" replied her concerned Mother. "Well Mummy" sobs the girl "in class today we, were told, that we had 'Noses for Smelling' and 'Feet for Running', but Mummy I'VE got a 'Nose that Runs' and 'Feet that Smell'!" I Told You, I could 'Do Worse' didn't I?

Have written any more Poems recently? I think that my Last One was 'Snow Falling Down', though I did 'Pen' a few lines for Mothers Day. As I said I hope that you are Well Poemsgalore1, hope to hear from you soon.

Kindest Wishes

AndrewT

I've just got up Andrew and choked on my breakfast toast! But at least the sun is shining. 😆 and you have brightened my morning by tickling my laughing gear. I'm thinking of changing my name to Poemsnomore. Can't be bothered any more. Hope you are doing OK 🌞

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT in reply to

Dear 'MorePoemsPlease',

Please don't Give Up, your POEMS- they are Lovely! Just sit, when you have the Time and Write a little funny Rhyme. Sometimes they are full of Wit- other times full of...erm, oh Heck, THAT ones not a Hit! I love to read, your Poems of Mirth- A smile, like that, can infect the Earth. So Please DON'T give up, what you 'DO'- and have us all, laugh along with you. I hope that you've had a 'Change of Heart'- and a Brand New Poem you may now Start. That's ALL the Rhymes I can think of, off the Top Of My Head.

Seriously though, your Beautiful Poems WILL be 'Missed'....by ME anyway! In any event, when 'Things' don't FEEL right- that Pain, just won't 'give up'- that's, the time to write. Transport yourself to a 'Happy Place', the birds singing, water lapping at the shore, a gentle breeze 'ruffling' your hair.....then 'write', without a care.....If the Result is a Poem that Really 'STINKS', then that IS how you felt! If you 'Raged' over, just about, Everything then...well you 'Said' it! Keep these NEGATIVE Poems too, six months on, read them again. You will either Completely Agree, with yourself...or, you Will think 'Bl..dy H.ll was I a 'Misery' in April! Do you see what I'm Driving At?

Anyway, and YES I AM 'Nagging', I hope to Hear, from you soon...With a Brand New Poem! (That Doesn't Rhyme, I know)

Take care, very best wishes

AndrewT

in reply toAndrewT

Well I can't let you down Andrew, so I've fished one out about my lovely cousin.

Avril is my hero

she saved my life one day.

When we were 12, in Dawlish Warren

on a rubber dinghy, we set off out to sea,

just before we had our tea.

Now Avril was a champion,

with cups and swimming awards.

But even though I couldn’t float

my safety was assured.

She fell off our floating vessel

and promptly dsappeared,

Then, scrambling from the deep

she grabbed me by the feet.

She kicked her legs

and pushed the float

while I lay on the top.

Towards the shore she strongly steered,

My cousin wasn’t even scared,

but took me back up on the sand

and we were safely back on land.

Avril is my hero,

she saved my life that day.

Thank you Avril, cousin dear,

For without you, I might not be here.

:-)

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT in reply to

Dear 'YouShouldwriteMorePoems',

What a beautiful Poem...about the girl who saved your Life! Please DO Re-Read it, can you honestly say that you can't write Poetry? A Poet who doesn't WRITE is like an Old Teapot, stuck on a shelf, so much POTENTIAL Going To Waste....Don't be an Old Teapot.....Please....Pretty Please....With Brass Knobs On.....and All the Bells Ringing...

I've been up to the Hospital Today, a repeat scan- I had one last year and, 'They' found a Slight 'Shadow' apparently. Could have been 'Anything', good, bad or indifferent- clearly 'They' weren't THAT worried, else I would have been Quickly 'recalled'. Anyway all done now, I'll get the Result(s) when I next see Dr Andi. I also arranged/ re-arranged, my Dermatology Appointments, to 'Coincide' with each other- basically so I can have Both 'Check Ups' done at the same time.

It was Almost Embarrassing actually-I got to Dermatology, about half an hour early, to find the Waiting Room 'Packed'. (I stood, for a time, and allowed a Lady to use the seat) We all got 'Talking', two were waiting For someone- already being Scanned- one man had been there 'Some Time' and......I was Called In AHEAD of time. I was back out BEFORE my appointment was even due! I have had this happen, when I was Deliberately 'Triaged' but this WASN'T the case here.

Anyway, I'm NOT going to Beg/ Cajole, or moan, anymore- I'm just asking you to reconsider.

Whatever you decide, my Best Wishes are with you.

AndrewT

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