HELLOOOO everyone! ☺️ I have experienced tinnitus for 3 years and have largely overcome it today hearing it more like 10% of the time. I was in the darkest place of my life ever when tinnitus came for quite some time and it taught me many things about myself, my anxiety and ways to overcome it. I've created a youtube channel this year to share positive and honest content based on my journey/personal experience as a resource to help others feel less alone in their tinnitus experience and hopefully to provide hope and healing. Feel free to check it out and hit subscribe to my channel and maybe it could help. ☺️ I’d love for you to join my healing youtube family. ❤️
I listened to your full 17 minutes. You come across as a deeply thoughtful young woman yet rather wrapped up in yourself. Perhaps that is the natural intelligent female way. I'll give you some advice I received from someone just like you (a work colleague at the time). It is 40 years old, and as far as I know she never had tinnitus. She said in effect "become a wife and mother. Not just one child but several. You will then have no time for yourself, your problems and worries, from that time on"
She's still around. Now semi retired and we meet up once a month. A grandmother, she looks after the grandchildren at all times of the day, and probably still doesn't have time for herself, her problems, and worries.
My best wishes to you, and I hope you have a successful life.
Wow Ray, though you may have had good intentions, do you realise essentially you’re saying if you’re a woman and have any struggles, it’s actually because you’re too ‘wrapped up in yourself’ because you don’t have purpose as a mother? Do you realise how reductive that is? Patronising? Not to mention presumptuous? Your view is oversimplified beyond belief.
What if a woman doesn’t want children, isn’t able to, what if despite having children you still experience suicidal ideation, tinnitus or struggles? Here’s someone speaking from their own lived experience and trying to use it positively to help others and you take from that they’re wrapped up in themselves? I’m not sure how you’d expect your comment / ‘advice’ to be taken, and I don’t speak on behalf of the poster but I just had to share from my view here. Take a step back and think about what you say to others before saying it, some things are better not said if it’s not kind or considered (inside thoughts)!
Believe it or not women have purpose beyond caring responsibilities for children / grandchildren!
the more I read your response to the video the more I’m not sure you do have good intentions on your ‘advice’. I think you’ve actually been pretty dismissive and clearly have some of your own stuff which causes you to think like that. So this isn’t me having ‘a go’ it’s me, on more reflection, offering you a different insight. One that I hope you don’t also dismiss.. we can all be in the business of changing our minds if we just listen to others and not place our own assumptions on others
Good grief, Newbie! Over a century after Oscar Wilde bemoaned the love that cannot be expressed we still have the same for advice!
Alice hasn't come back. Perhaps she's still enjoying a Damascan moment.
My advice is valid and given in hope that it might be a way forward for Alice. Women have children. Some are very good at it and are designed to devote themselves to caring for small helpless clueless dependent things that children start off as. It gives them a whole and meaningful experience and they can 'live beyond' themselves as they are now. You just have to accept that, just as I accept that some women are aghast at the thought of motherhood. Not knowing Alice, why would I wish to withhold from her?
Is any advice unwanted? I personally would be slightly stunned if I was told "you can improve your lot by running 5 miles every day". I wouldn't be offended. I'd just say "well, that's not going to happen. I can tell you"
Ray, you’re on the defensive. As suspected. There’s no offence here, it’s just some feedback for you to think about what ‘advice’ you’re giving to others. Women specifically. I expected it to be dismissed. I actually understand why some have those views - but like I said we can all be in the business of changing our minds, if we’re willing to just listen and learn.
Here’s my unsolicited ‘advice’ to you: telling people who struggle / trying to help others that they’re ‘wrapped up in themselves’ is never helpful nor kind. I’d hoped maybe you’d have a turning point yourself!
P.s. some women are neither ‘aghast’ at children, nor choosing not to have them. Some want them more than anything but aren’t able to. Some women have children and still struggle with their mental health. Some women’s mental health is impacted BECAUSE they had children.
It’s also the strange assumption you make that IF a woman doesn’t have children (for whatever reason) they couldn’t possibly have purpose. Though hardly surprising there’s people who think like this, but if you choose to believe that and then say it out loud you can expect some pushback / challenge….
It’s overall just odd advice for overcoming tinnitus!
Thank you for your opinion, Newbie. I don't agree with it, I just accept it.
I take a scientific approach to matters. Rule nothing out, that kind of thing. It's the way forward, and perhaps you secretly agree with that (though probably not!) If I have a problem to be brought to attention, I would like more than sympathetic soothing noises, but that's me...
Ohhhh… Is this what acceptance looks like then?! We’re probably more similar than you might expect in relation to taking a ‘scientific’ approach Ray. That also includes human psychology / behaviour and how that impacts ingrained societal norms and world views. It’s very interesting to me when I see it in action.
I’ll take your sympathetic soothing noises and raise you constructive criticism?! 😜
I too am a heterosexual man, and single with it. I cope with T by busying myself. I can always find something to do. Suggesting motherhood to a young woman is considered odd these days???
As a result, I've given a commitment to bow out henceforth from anything other than direct T therapy. It was not my intention to irk anyone. My full apologies to all who have been.
really good info Alice. Thanks. And ray, she’s recollecting her experiences so it’s obviously going to be about her. She doesn’t come across as wrapped up in herself one bit. She’s trying to help people so no need for that comment. All the best.
I have suffered from T for a disagreeably long time ( > 20 years) and regularly check for new T-related content on Youtube. Your channel had my "like" soon after it launched.
We are all different. Every age, stage in life, and personality is susceptible to T and I think that each new contribution from a person willing to take the time and effort to speak of their experience adds something of value - something that will resonate with and help someone - maybe (hopefully), many people.
Thanks for your video Alice - it was interesting, engaging and eloquent (not in the least bit self-obsessed). It is always helpful to hear from someone in a similar situation who has had some ‘success’ in dealing with such a challenge. 🙂
Sorry Ray but your comments were much more than just a ‘wider consensus of opinion’ - they were patronising and, frankly, from a bygone, unenlightened era. The suggestion that a woman would be much happier if she were at home looking after the kids (and this would, by extension, cure her tinnitus) rather than daring to have her own dreams, ambitions and successes is not ok. I sincerely hope that in her lifetime, my daughter does not encounter too many people with your closed-minded views that have no place on a positive forum like this.
I've taken on board yours and others dissatisfaction, Merlin, so henceforth any future posts from me on this site will be strictly confined to the non personal side of T.
I honestly didn't think that this thread would head in a direction like this but let's politely agree not to give people unsolicited reproductive advice and focus instead on things that might help people to manage their tinnitus, shall we?
My post was was to help others after having tinnitus for thirty years I feel that I am in a position to help others…. My unsolicited advice comes from a place of sharing something that worked for me and may be beneficial to others struggling with the Same condition…. Giving others hope
Hi Alice, really loved your video which has given me hope. I know my tinnitus is caused by stress and anxiety and it’s my bodies way of sending out a warning sign. I want things to change but don’t know where to begin? What do you suggest, how did you go about the change in your life?
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