I feel like im going crazy!

I feel like im going crazy!

Hi All,

After reading most of the comments im more depressed then ever. I broke my neck 2 years ago that kick started other stuff im now waiting for a kidney transplant and have been treated for graves with Rai after being on Carbimazole for almost 18 months. I have gone from a size 6 to a 14 in a matter of months since they destrpyed my thyroid and put me on thyroxine I have never felt so sad or ill in my life my broken neck didnt effect me the way this has. i am having horrendous panic attacks wierd thinking and very bad depression I have so far refused the anti depressants to try to preserve the 17% left on both kidney.I live alone sadly several of my closest friends have moved to Spain and France so ive lost my support system I just cant stop the tears its been a terribe few years is there no hope?

16 Replies

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  • Hi Sweetie.

    You sound so sad I felt I had to reply. You're not alone, and there is always hope, it may sound like a cliche but I believe it. Is there a support group in your area where you can go and chat with people with similar problems, anything so that you don't feel so alone, your hospital or GP Surgery may know of something. Well done for not sucombing to the anti depressants, have you looked at the dietary options that can help with depression? I wish you luck in your journey through this episode in your life and just keep thinking positive.

    Best wishes Lesley

  • Hi Dancerfromparis, am so sorry to hear how tough life is for you. Its hard when we feel so poorly (and for so long) to feel there is hope but please believe me when I say there is. It's a real shame that your close friends have moved away when you feel so vulnerable. Am glad you have found this site. Am wondering like Lesley if you have tried finding a local support group for people awaiting transpants. I suffered with ME and found my local group really helpful -it was lovely to meet other people and I made some new friends. Hope this helps.

  • I just wanted to send you some big hugs and lots of love..... xxx

  • Hi Dancerfromparis, I'm so sorry to hear how bad you're feeling but to answer the question in your last sentence - yes, there is hope! It might not feel like it right now but it is possible to get a lot better.

    I agree that a lot of the comments on here can be depressing but there are many people who do get well on thyroxine, it's just that well people tend not to go on to internet forums so most of us are still struggling.

    The first thing you need to do is to get your thyroid blood test levels, the actual figures together with the reference ranges. ‘Normal’ is not good enough; you need, and have a legal right, to the figures. If you post them on here then we can help you to interpret them.

    Many patients are given a dose of thyroxine that puts them into the reference range but it may not be optimal for them. For instance you might have a TSH level of 2.5 in a range of 0.5 to 4.5 which many doctors in this country would class as fully treated, but you could still be very symptomatic and need more thyroxine; still more would keep you at the top end of that range and class you as ‘normal’. In some other countries 2.5 is at the top of their range and you would be treated as hypothyroid if it goes above that. In the UK treatment isn’t started until TSH goes over 10 despite the top of our ranges being around 5!

    Depression is a symptom of being hypothyroid so under-treatment could well be a cause of, or contributing to, your depression. I found that being proactive about my treatment really helped, it gives you a sense of purpose again. I found out all I could about thyroid disease & treatment (thank you Thyroid UK!!!) and tried to work with my doctor, not always easy and it was a bit of a rocky ride for quite a bit of the time (understatement of the year!!) but I am now well again and I wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t fought for it.

    Try to hang on to the hope that you can get better too, we’ll help you all we can.

  • Sweetheart I cried when I read your blog. Not really into these things but I'm glad I looked. I have been getting the crazyness as well, panicking, crying, weird thinking too. I have refused antidrepressants simply because I thought that it was probably the thyroid problem causing it, still hasn't gone. Next blood test Friday. On 75mcg at moment. I live alone too. Being 64 now all my friends were older than me and have passed on. Do anti-depressants affect your kidneys? and if so, have they something that wont. There is hope. Two years ago I started getting high blood pressure and had a couple of mini strokes, kicked out my husband (drinking and abusive) then this. 22 years ago I gave up alcohol and last year cigarettes. Boy is life getting boring. But there is hope. Keep fighting. I hope you get transplant soon. Ask GP about St Johns Wort and other herbal treatments. Lots of best wishes to you Carol

  • I also send you hugs too. I certainly know what you mean by weird thinking, panic attacks and depression. It is incredible how a deficient thyroid affects every cell in your body.

    Do you know what your TSH, Free T4 and Free T3 results are?

    I hope that we can help you, ask any questions that you may have.

  • Hi Barbara, I read your comment to Dancer. I don't know what my level is. All I got from my G.P. was "you have an underactive thyroid, I'll start you on Levothyroxine" Now on 75mcg after two blood tests, having third Friday. What do I need to ask? what is the level I should have? I have only learned from ~Thyroid UK. When I asked at the clinic for a leaflet or some infor, they asked me if I was on the internet. ~Do not think this is good enough. I have had crying jags, panicking, suicidal, as well. Hoping that when I am balanced it will go away. Not so far. Cant seem to get out of bed some days. Should I take the anti-depressants? She said she was going to discuss this next time around. Carol

  • Keep your chin up I can tell you that things do get better once you are on the right medication, I take Armour and have found that it suits me alot better but it did take time. I was just like you had the same symtoms. So lots of hugs from me.

  • dont give up hope dancer, you are dealing with a lot of issues not just thyroid which can wear you down and make you feel life is bleak but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it just make take a while to get there but get there you will hon hang in there x

  • You're no going crazy at all. Most people who experience problems with their Thyroid have exactly the same problems. You have the original diagnosis. You panic as to why your thyroid is not working properly. You suffer from depression as to why this is happening to you. And then you panic as you start to put every sympton of anything you now feel down to your Thyroid not working.

    Yes, lack of Thyroxin causes a lot of problems, but it's not responsible for everything that goes wrong with your life. There are a lot of things that we can do for ourselves that can make us feel better - this web site has helped me come to terms with a non working Thyroid. It's amazing the aspects of life that it affects ! I have no conception of how bad you feel as you are the only person that knows that. However I can say that I have come from a bad place as well and am now a much stronger person now than I have ever been in my life. You will get there. It just takes time !

  • Im sorry if I made anyone sad it just all got on top of me. Thank you all for your kind words. x

  • you have not made anyone sad Dancer, it is totally understandable what you are going through and there are shoulders here to lean on should you need it x

  • Im glad you got it out in the open. You are going through a very difficult time. This is also helping me because I am feeling the same. You take care. Carol

  • Im so sorry tho hear that, we have to have courage, it will get better big hugs x

  • I am so very sorry you are having such an awful time. It will pass but finding the strength to endure such difficulties can be hard to find, especially when your good friend are so far away. Look to what you eat and check your vitamin B levels, essential to help you fight that depression. May luck with be you soon.

  • I think the fact that you found a gp who has sent you to an endo means that you have overcome the biggest hurdle

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