Just to add to everything else I am going through

[Jefner]

My Dad is dying. Admitted into hospital the other day and given 1-2 weeks max. Am still in shock, numb, feel very ill, I just don't know what to do with myself. Sat here on my own shaking, anxious, nauseous, weak, constant crying, can't eat. How am I going to get through this, I don't know how

[Hoxo]

I'm so sorry Jefner to hear this. My Dad died earlier this year I nursed him at home for 2 weeks. I'm still unwell from the shock and stress but I didn't take any time off after. You will cope with this. When we've suffered with illness ourselves for so long we are stronger and more resilient than we think. Go and be with your Dad and tell him you love him. This will be a special time for you to be together. I cherished those last days with my Dad. I told him how much I loved him stroked his hand and nursed and cared for him. It's important though that you get rest and support for you. It will be a big shock for you but being with him in the calm and quiet you will find peace and a renewed connection and bond in these last few days. Sending you hugs and love.

[Hidden in reply to Hoxo]

I totally agree Hoxo.My sons have travelled from Scotland and Gloucestershire to be with me and have each shared a few hours of quiet time alone with their dad to tell him that they love him.I am so glad that they were able to have this time with him.

[wellness1 in reply to Hoxo]

So well said, Hoxo , Hidden and others. Marfit, I am sorry to hear about your husband. I'm so glad you have your sons to help you through this. Take care

[Hidden]

jefner........Firstly I must say how sorry I am that you are going through so much sadness and suffering at this time. You have my sympathy and I do recognise what you are going through as sadly I am trying to deal with my own sad feelings at the moment.

My husband was admitted to hospital for the third time a week ago.He is seriously ill with failing heart and kidney problems and I am having to take each day as it comes,not knowing what is going to happen......I am numb.

Is there anyone you can talk to ?....someone who will just listen to all you need to share each day? It really helps. I am fortunate to have two sons who are a tremendous support to me.Do you have a family member or friend who can help ? Believe me that it is important to talk. It is also important to study your own health as I know how much it drains you emotionally. Do you have an Endocrinologist? My own just happened to walk by when I was taking a break outside the ward.When he recognised me he came and sat down and talked to me.When he left he asked me to make sure that when I go for my next appointment in June that I make sure I see him.So it may be that whoever,you go to for your thyroid treatment may be able to adjust your meds to help you cope.

I am thinking of you and hope sincerely that you will get some support to help keep you strong.xx

[Greenwall]

Hi. Huge hugs.

It's a tough time. I agree with Hoxo and Marfit 74. I'd just add that when my Dad was dying I spent hours with him. He told me things in those last days that he'd never mentioned before. So I would suggest you spend some time with him. You may feel guilty afterwards if you don't. However, make sure you also pace yourself and take time to rest. If you can't eat, at least try and drink otherwise you'll dehydrate with all the crying.

You will get through it, even if you only do 10 minutes at a time.

You'll have recovery time afterwards.

[janey1234]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad.... sending you virtual hugs xox

[Hidden]

Sending you lots of hugs 😘 I know how you feel my dad passed two years ago broke my heart ❤️ I just talk to him tell all the news and updates! I find it really helps me. Take care lovely 😘

[dotti]

Sending you big hugs i lost my dad 3 years ago and it was heart breaking, like others have said spend as much time with your dad as you can, thinking of you

Dotti xx

[Hidden]

dear Jefner,

i am soo sorry to hear/read what you are going through right now and in the last few month!

i hope you come through all this with the help of friends and family.

all i need to point out to you:. DO NOT FORGET TO TAKE YOUR THYROID MEDS!

my sister had very bad situations, with her son dying and our mother. she lost her timing with the medication and was very sick herself!

we are all here for you

tight Hug

mojas

[wellness1]

I am so sorry, Jefner . You must be in shock, but go to your father and spend whatever time he has with him. The time with my father was such a gift. Not knowing anything about his medical circumstances, if he can possibly be transferred to hospice care, either at home or at a hospice, it could do a great deal to help him and his loved ones to focus on keeping him comfortable and spending time saying goodbye and letting go. There has been a lot of talk about the idea of a 'good death'. Honouring your father's wishes, just being with him, and focusing on whatever simple pleasures he can enjoy will help him have that. If your father is able to participate in decisions about his care and if you ask questions and have some understanding of what is happening and why, it may help you when he is gone, so your grief will not be complicated by second guessing and revisiting decisions made now. These discussions can be difficult, but they are worth having. Giving your father a chance to talk about his life and its meaning and to express his fears about death can help to give him some peace and give you some moments to cherish when he is gone. Ira Byock, a palliative care physician who has written throughtfully about end of life care (The Four Things That Matter Most) has found that the most important things to express before the end are

I love you.

Thank you.

I forgive you.

Forgive me.

Look after yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Take support wherever you can and give yourself time.

[Clutter]

Jefner,

I'm so sorry. I hope you and your mother will be able to support each other and your father.

[UrsaP]

Dear Jefner I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. My thoughts are with you. Please follow all this great advice you have been given on here, about spending time with your father, and talking.

It is hard. I remember some years ago having to have some difficult conversations with my own dad when he was terminally ill. But it brought us closer.

My mother died of Thyroid Cancer nearly a year ago. I stayed with her for over two years from her diagnosis, till she died. I made the decision to not dwell on the fact that I was losing her, or when, instead to make the most of whatever time was left.

A care nurse from a local hospice was assigned to us and she was just wonderful.

I would reiterate you need to look after yourself. Whilst looking after Mam was not 'difficult' as such, I was subject to a lot of family stress related to it. It had a huge knock on affect on my adrenals which in turn affected my ability to process the thyroid medication. It left me very ill. And for some time - I am just starting to feel like I am coming out the other side.

This is obviously a very stressful time so, please, when you talk to your Endo - who seems to be a very caring person, do ask them about support for adrenals to, to help you through.

Cherish the time and memories you have.

[Jefner in reply to UrsaP]

I don't have an Endo

[UrsaP in reply to Jefner]

Sorry Jefner I'd got confused with the comment from marfit74,. But do consider your adrenal health along with thyroid, especially at such a time, as stress can have a real adverse affect on how we process medications.

My thoughts are with you.

[Jefner]

he has gone, sat here alone, numb, shaking, sick, anxiety really bad I wanna pass out

[pinkjess17 in reply to Jefner]

So sorry for your loss. You need to look after yourself, if you can force yourself to eat something it will help, and get hold of some HC cream if possible from a pharmacy, as your adrenals sound terrible. Hope you feel better soon.

[Jefner in reply to pinkjess17]

pinkjess17

what is HC cream

[pinkjess17 in reply to Jefner]

hydrocortsione cream, it's for eczema and bites etc over the counter 1%. You can rub a small pea sized amount in to your skin to help the adrenals, best used in a morning or like now when your shaking feeling sick etc.

[Jefner in reply to pinkjess17]

i have high cortisol anyway so will have to ask my nutritionist first

[UrsaP]

Jefner I'm so sorry for your loss. My sincerest condolences. Please look after yourself. Accept that you are going through a difficult time, and don't be too hard on yourself. Try to focus on the good times and memories to get you through.

[Musicmonkey]

So sorry for your loss Jefner Take care of yourself xx

[Hidden in reply to Musicmonkey]

My thoughts are with you too jefner at this sad time for you and family.

Please take good care of yourself.xx

[wellness1]

I'm so sorry, Jefner . Take care of yourself and please consider getting some support. There are grief support groups that meet in person and online support, as well.

uhs.nhs.uk/PatientsAndVisit...

[madge1979]

God Bless sweetheart ..those of us who have felt this pain ...can tell you that it will get easier in time take time to grieve well ..

You've done a wonderful thing 💙

Love from

Mx🌹

[Hoxo]

I'm sorry Jefner to hear your Dad passed away. Sending you love and hugs x

[Stourie]

Dear Jefner sending hugs. So sorry your Dad has died. Remember to take care.

Jo xx

[Acott]

Hi. My condolences to you. Grief councelors, grief groups, faith groups, grief books, prayers and the compassion of friends who have walked through sickness and death of a loved one have benefitted me. You get through one day, hour or breath at a time. It's difficult. Help him to be comfortable and value any time you have to honor him and love him.

[Jose651]

Dear Jefner,

I am sorry to hear that your Dad has passed. Your poor Mum will need comfort and help. They both have been so kind helping you to get tests etc in your bad health this past while.

You will get the strength to get through this awful experience. Amazingly your body goes into 'coping mode'.

It's when it's all over that you will be thankful for the good times that you had together.

(((🌹)))