I have had trouble getting results from a blood test ordered by my Endo and conducted at my GP's practice - I have tried to get hold of these results through the GP's reception and through my Endo's secretary (see latest post named "blood test results unavailable???")
I am not trying to mess anyone about, I am honestly trying to get hold of these results any way I can.
I just don't want to seem/sound cheeky by asking bluntly as to why the GP or GP reception cannot get hold of these and dare I say it:
I don't have the confidence/assertiveness to do so.
Ok, this may sound like a put-down but I have not got the confidence or assertiveness to ask such a question for fear of the answer I will get or for fear of being struck off/reported to the practice manager/have my medical exemption stricken.
I feel so daft writing this. I'm 28 - will be 29 this weekend - and I have no idea why I am like this.
I wouldn't like to think I'm a mental case, but:
* Like many other people I was bullied at school - I was told I was ugly, had my sexuality questioned and repeatedly singled out for being quiet and hardworking. I was at school to learn and do well, not make friends which I did not have a lot of. I left school with 5 A-C GCSEs. I was only predicted 1 B and 1 C.
* I was assaulted in 2001 - I was 15 at the time and I was on holiday with my mum in Turkey. The bartender at the hotel we stayed at did this. No one in my family knows and I think the truth would break their hearts as I'm their only child and seen as their little girl. I'm nearly 30 for goodness' sake!
* I have never known who my dad is or was - he and my mum broke up after I was born. I was seen at school as the "freak without a dad". In order to stay in favour with them I told them I did have a dad but he died. I once requested my birth certificate - the "father" field had a cross stuck through it.
* I have had a lot of family problems at the moment. I haven't fallen out with any of them but my uncle and aunt split up a few years ago. My two cousins hardly ever see me and we did a lot of things together. Aunt now has a new life with a new family. I can't fault that. Uncle is not happy with his partner as she's very materialistic and always spending money. He works shifts as a lorry driver.
Grandad had a mini-stroke back in 2009. He is like my father figure to me. The mini-stroke has affected his speech, memory and emotions. He bursts into tears at the drop of a hat. It breaks my heart when he does this. Maybe it doesn't easily show on the outside but inside it breaks.
Mum has primary progressive multiple sclerosis. She has choking fits and has trouble walking. I admire her very much as she is so strong-minded and will not let her illness beat her. She is currently in Tenerife with my stepdad, who she married in 2008. The hot weather helps her. It helps me too but I cannot afford to fly out there. It'd be wrong to say we don't get on well. We are very different people but when I was younger we did do a lot of things together. But since she moved out in 2003 when her, me and my grandparents lived together she has her own life too. My stepdad has jokingly apologised that he'd broken the family up but he hasn't. My mum had spent 18 years with no partner, she can live her life how she wants.
I also saw my great-grandmother die in front of my eyes. I provoked her and she got up, tripped on the lounge rug and broke her hip bone. The doctor took over 5 hours to reach her. By that time she developed a clot and suffered 2 strokes and a heart attack in theatre. She was kept on life support for 3 weeks but she deteriorated and died. I blamed myself for her death and still do now.
I've also lost one of my great-uncles. He died yesterday. I haven't told anyone on here about it but I will say so now. I saw him a lot when I was around 5 or 6 years old. He liked my drawings and poems that I wrote. Now I will be attending his funeral, possibly making a flight to Sri Lanka where he lived.
None of this may be relevant but I just wanted to get this out in the open.