I have to let out a long sigh before starting to write this because I don't know where to begin. I just need to know, are these symptoms in my head, is this Graves disease, or am I going crazy or something.
In nov 2010, I'd been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and I moved abroad for a job, and that is when I remember changing. I remember moving abroad (for work), and constantly crying. I blamed the move and being away from my boyfriend for this. I lived abroad for 2 years, and during that time I had a really short temper, people would just instantly irritate me and i couldn't calm down for hours. I always felt tired, gained around 1 - 1.5 stone in weight. I found it difficult to connect to people and make friends, and ended up spending a lot of time alone, and having bouts of crying and really feeling low.
In Aug of last year, the long distance and my quick temper and mood swings finally took its toll on my relationship and that ended, and i plunged into 2 weeks of (what i don't feel confident in calling) depression. Stayed in my bedroom of my flat, was signed off work, and didn't speak to anyone. Finally told my bosses that I needed to come back to UK - which they did within 2wks. I'm so grateful that they did!
From Sept when I moved back to Mar this year, my mood improved. But I struggled to do sport, and if I did 2 hours of basketball I would then have to sleep the rest of the day - just felt exhausted all the time. Felt kinda numb. Still spent a lot of time alone.
Went to the doctor in Mar who sent me for tests, and was diagnosed with Graves disease and started medication for hyperthyroidism with 80mg propranalol and 30mg carbimazol. I started off feeling a bit worse, but then had a good 1.5 month of feeling great.
Since moving back to UK, I haven't got a circle of friend and don't live close to family, so I took this opportunity to fire all barrels and do french class, work overtime, play basketball, do yoga. Plus, I recently was away for a conference with work for a week. Then this weekend, I felt terrible, losing my temper, constantly crying, really low mood, just feel trapped because I'm not enjoying life at all, and I just want to feel some peace. I feel so lonely, but I just can't stand to be around people - just makes me feel exhausted.
So... is this what Graves disease does? Is this what I should be expecting?
Anytime I talk to my family about this, I feel as if i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, and they still tell me that maybe my mood is because of PMT, or they say that I should just perk up. But, saying that to me makes me feel like i'm wandering in the dark trying to find something that doesn't exist.
Should i just buck up? Is this really not that bad? Or maybe i'm crazy - just don't know what to think.
Would be grateful to hear anyone elses experiences.
sorry for the essay