Sometimes I wish i could be more honest about what I have to deal with

[WellySam]

I have had a good long period of remission, but it was back with a bang last week. My IBS-D is (I think ) trauma related and anxiety triggered. I was taking the dogs out first thing when I got a bad spasm. The dogs were playing up (of course) so I didn't make it home and messed myself for the first time in a long time.

I can work from home most of the time so I can manage it. On Friday I was on an all day online course which should have been ok but for the trainers insistence on cameras and mics being on all the time we were in session. That alone made me anxious.

At the first break I padded up as a precaution, which was just as well as lunch kept getting put back. In the end when the screen froze, I took advantage by switching off my camera and mic, and stood up which I knew would trigger it.

And so I had to sit through the next half an hour in my own mess. Only then for the trainer to firstly shorten the lunch break as we were running late and then to ask me to stay behind. She wanted to ask whether I was finding the material too challenging (it was an equalities course) because I had put into the chat the fact that people need breaks.

What i wanted to say was, 'listen mate, i am sitting here in my own poo, which is is pretty rank especially as I sat down in it, and while you will be spending the shortened break eating and chilling, I'l be cleaning up poo, putting on a wash and padding up. So ******.'

Of course I didn't, but i wish I had.

[Maggysav]

Yes I totally get it I too sometimes wish I could tell people exactly what I’m going through but I don’t as it’s just too embarrassing. I have bile acid Malabsorption caused by radiation treatment and I have suffered for years with cramping nausea and diarrhoea. I have terrible urgency and mornings are the worst. I’m on binders for the BAM and also take one Imodium a day but I still have accidents. I live in hope that one day there will be a magic cure. It’s a very individual thing how we deal with this condition I just pad up every day make sure I have an emergency bag and try to get on with living life and get very envious of other people who have normal bowels and never have to worry where the nearest toilet is! All I can say is make the most of your good days.

[TrexArms88]

I have IBS and have found that being honest (not too honest, unless really comfortable with the person) helps to reduce anxiety hugely.

There is no way on earth it is okay for you to go through what you did. I'd explain that you have a medical condition and that if you're away from your screen they can carry on. They have no right to pry and should make relevant accomodations for your needs (IE more breaks).

It must have been an awful experience and one I hope you don't have to endure again.

[Hidden]

I really feel for you. IBS is still not taken seriously by society, sadly not even many medical professionals. My own IBS tends toward type C, but people always seem to think it is just a bit of discomfort.

[Kulbir108]

A simple i am sick and need the rest room would do !!!! Instructors would get it and understand….!!!!

[Brett77]

hi, do you need to take creon for your malabsorption? Does it help with diarrhoea?

[angelwings52]

I understand how you feel - the lack of understanding about IBS is so frustrating - I've gotten so tired of making excuses that I decided to just be completely honest and tell people that sometimes I can't socialise or do everyday things because of IBS, it can shock people but occasionally brutal honesty does work. My IBS was triggered by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the best thing I did was have hypnotherapy, can't recommend it enough (there are some good apps as well), it really helped with the stress.

[winfong]

As a former instructor, I think the blame here lies on the instructor you had. Medical emergencies are quite real and need to be handled in a much better way than this. It's not all on you.

At the same time, you do need to speak up. If not, the instructor might just think you're slow or being disruptive or [fill in the blank]. You need to control the dialog, not them.

How long have you had IBS? I've had it for 40 years, so am not generally shy. Yes, it's a potentially embarrassing topic, but it's real, and they (and others) need to know what's going on. I share as many details as I need to be taken seriously.

Who knows, they could have it themselves, or know someone who do, and be super sympathetic. You'll never know, though, until you bring it up.

[Girly02 in reply to winfong]

Hallo Winfong, You said you had IBS for 40 years. How are you managing it. I sometimes have pains all over my body, had anybody exprience that? The whole will be painful with sone numbness on the hands and fits.sometimes being too tired.

[winfong in reply to Girly02]

I've got that, but it might be due more to an autoimmune condition I have. As for managing, eating a good diet, getting exercise & taking probiotics and multiple laxatives. It's pretty much C for me these days, so definitely can't speak for everyone.

[WellySam in reply to winfong]

Yes I probably should have said something, but post COVID I work in an environment where were are never sure if our jobs are at risk so showing any sign of weakness doesn't feel like a great idea right now.

[Gypsy67]

I am like you and will go into remission for periods then have issues again. A few years ago I decided that I no longer would hide what is going on. No I do not go into detail but if needed I tell whomever I have IBS-d (yes they will look it up lol). It is a condition I cannot control. It affects my life at times and therefore I might need to leave at a moments notice. No more info is required unless you want to. So far I have found everyone (course leaders, supv’s, friends, etc) to be very understanding. Also have found that a few of my co-workers suffer from same issues and now they too share. Most people have some issue in their lives and will be very understanding.