Hi there so.. I have been suffering with Anxiety and low mood for about 2/3 years now I am currently 24 and have a nearly 3 year old daughter, when people ask me why I suffer with this I never know what to say as I don't know why it comes on me the only thing I can think of is after having my little girl lots of things changed becoming a mum is hard (but the best thing ever) when my little girl was around 8 months old I was taken into hospital after waking up in the night with unbearable pain in my back radiating to my chest I couldn't breathe and I was being violently sick which for me is a big thing as I have always had a phobia of being sick I always feel sick but very rare I am sick anyway an ambulance came I was taken to hosp to be told I had a blood clot on my lung to which I walked out the room rang my mum an cried all you think about when something like that is happening is " am I going to die" I have a little girl? I cant die? anyway I was sent home with injections I had to give myself until they could fit me in for further tests 2 days later I went back in and went through many different tests I was there all afternoon they then sent me home and said they will be intouch with the results a few hours later I received a phone call saying all the tests were clear and the pain I was in must of been wind. I couldn't accept that I'm not that mard to cry be sick and have to ring an ambulance! I went back to the doctors and explained that I thought I have gallstones, the night the ambulance came the paramedic took one look at me and said she thinks I have gallstones that got left when they did tests on my lungs I was told from my doctor that I was "too young to have gallstones" and she sent me away! a few days later I started getting pains again an it made me start having anxiety " what if it happens again?" what if I have to leave my little girl etc. I went back and saw another doctor and she sent me for a scan a a few days later at the scan the sonographer (I think that's what there called haha ) said she couldn't see gallstones just slurge but she will send them off to be tested. a few days later I rang my doctors for the results to be told these were normal I was shocked... I thought I'm going to have to accept that it was infact just "trapped wind" a few nights later I was asleep in bed again and woke with horrendous pain in my chest back couldnt breathe being sick my partner was a bit fed up at this point and was a bit snappy with me I went downstairs and rang my mum she came an she rang an ambulance once she seen me! I was taken into hospital again leaving my baby doctors gave me morphine as this was the only thing to stop the pain I was sent for another ultrasound for them to then say my gallbladder was packed with stones! how could this be I had a scan the week before to be told everything was fine ?? I was told I would have to have my gallbladder removed they put me in a room an put me on a waiting list I was in there for 4 days waiting before the surgery! then another 2 after having the surgery so a week without my 8 month old baby she was passed round to so many family members I new she just needed her mummy when I came out of hospital I was in so much pain it was awful an my partner had to go to work so I was left with my baby an it was a struggle! anyway I'm now 2 years on from that OP and still suffer with pains here an ther in my back shoulders chest I also have really bad IBS so 80% of the time I'm not feeling well an this brings me down in myself as I'm only 24 with a daughter I want to be able to live a pain free life.... I now have been told I have anxiety/health anxiety but I get frustrated as I'm over that now so why am I getting anxiety is it down to that ? I do worry all the time which I know isn't good! but will wake up in the morning and think I hope I don't have anxiety today ! today I have had it a bit ive got the pain in my shoulders the funny heart beat the feeling you cant breathe the fuzziness in your head where you feel like your not real! I am of to my CBT soon this is a self help one and is all done on computters I cant say its helping yet as I think I would benefit from talking to someone not a computer screen! I was never like this before having my daughter now I panic about most things if my friends are planning to go out in 2 weeks for them 2 weeks ill worry about what if I don't feel well what if my anxiety is bad what if my stomach is flaring then I make myself do it I go an have a great time but then the next day I feel worse don't think alcohol mixes well with anxiety! I don't want to have to make myself do things I want to be able to just go an do these things an not worry about the what ifs? my low mood isn't as bad as my anxiety if I could choose one id choose to have the low mood as the physical symptoms of anxiety are just awful! my low mood is down to me always feeling poorly but is that because theres something wrong with me or because I have anxiety ? I really do feel now that this is going to be me forever an I don't want that I want to be the best mum I can be and partner to my boyfriend and stop the worrying the panic the stressing id love to be able to say "ive gone a whole week without feeling ill in anyway" but it seems to be all the time I'm feeling rubbish, I thought I would come on here as I think it makes you feel better when you no your not the only person who goes through this... hope to hear back from someone maybe people have similarities to me?
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