Has anyone had........

[Scarlet38]

Has anyone had the unimaginable happen to them, and had an accident, in public? Its been 4 years since it happened to me and its still getting to me. I was at a friends house party, i had lots to drink and lots of the wrong food to eat - this was before i was too bad - was so drunk and it happened.

My poor other half had to clean me up, while keeping others away - im not sure who at the party knew what happened but im never going to ask them.

It took me about 6 weeks for me to get back to work and a year of a gluten free diet to get back to 'normal' and ive been strugglin on and off with flare ups since. I could count the number of drinks ive had since on one hand and i dont really go out any more.

Has this happened to anyone else, i cant seem to get past it and its really knocked my confidence - all advice, help and other equally embarassing stories gratefully received haha!!

[Hidden]

Scarlet the trouble with people is we tend to get embarrasst about Bowel problems,and I can never understand why we've all got them.But I can understand how you feel but if you are still friends with people at that party talk to them about it even have a laugh about it ,and it will help you get your confidence back.Life to short to worry about other people,your real friends will laugh with with you and also understand.Get out there and have fun x

[happydays1]

Hi yes I can sympathize with your story. Sometimes you can get to the loo on time and sometimes you can't, but it's your condition and there's nothing you can do about it. You can play this two ways: never go out for fear of embarrassing yourself or go out live your life and carry an "emergency" bag with you. It's just a make-up bag I carry in my handbag so no one knows. My bag has: spare undies, Imodium, a plastic bag, wet wipes, perfume, s.t and hand sanitizer. My attitude is I am going to live my life, and as far as I am concerned this is just a glitch. If you do have an accident pop in the loo, do the necessities and just get on, no one is the wiser. I also wear an st when I go out just in case. You know I have had friends for years and they don't know because i am so discreet. I work, play golf (few loos on the course) swim, do yoga and have a full life. Plenty of people have the same problem, you'll be amazed, you know? I say put it all behind you and enjoy your life, if it happens it happens and don't beat yourself up about it. Good luck!

[tansy-ann8]

Yes; I guess most of us have if we are honest about it. I agree with 'happydays1' in that I always have emergency kit in my handbag, always know where the next/nearest loo is (if possible), never drink too much alcohol (for obvious reasons - you need your wits about you etc..) and life carries on more or less as normal. You need to control it.........not it control you. It will be ok scarlett 28, you will cope as we all do, hang in there.

[Scarlet38]

Thanks for your replies, i am loving the emergency bag idea!! I really want to get on with it and not have it control me - need a little work on that though x

[robrascal]

Yes I too have had a couple of unhapy experiences. I also agree with Happydays. Go out prepared and leave the bad experience memory behind. Mine caused panic attacks, so I just had to try and relax and find the nearest loo.Our choice is either let the symptoms rule us or press on with life taking all precautions one can. One can buy disposable pants-Tena and another brand too. If I am having a bad day ,but need to go out,I find wearing these give me more confidence.Don't be afraid to tell close friends as sometimes they are able to help you in finding a loo quickly,and are generally very understanding. hope this helps.

[PatV]

All good replies. I'm sober 16 years and I have seen that one drink can lead to all kinds of bad choices. And embarrassing results. If you don't choose that route, and it's your choice, I agree with above. Move on and be prepared. "keep calm and carry an emergency bag"

[hairyfairy]

Iv`e had minor accidents after taking too much laxative by accident. the trouble with my bowel is that it`s so sensitive that there`s a fine line between an effective dose, & too much. Iv`e been lucky enough to find somewhere to clean up before anyone noticed.

[sarat1]

Yep, had to drop pants at side of the path walking along the country park before. Always have emergency kit with me and wear st on iffy days. It is nice to hear others have same.

[mo-mo in reply to sarat1]

It nearly happened to me most of the time when I was about 10 - 15 years old, then it did happen when I was 15, in a very public place. This was 30 years ago, no internet to research, no forums, no one to talk to. When I eventually plucked up the courage to see a doctor and have some hospital tests, I was told by some of them (doctor, hospital staff and other patients) that I was an attention seeking little girl! That really shut me up. As far as I was aware, my life was over. Had a few more accidents since over the decades and many many near misses! But, getting older really is getting wiser. It took me a long time to tell friends. I also carry a emergency kit and a bigger one in the car (spare trousers etc). Unfortunately for me, I let the IBS take over my life, I didn't know any better then, it was at a time when people really did not talk at all about this type of stuff. It ruined my confidence and I could not/would not date. On bad days, I worried about being near people due to the wind and fear of the smells. I'm battling with long term, life long depression.

Things are much much better past few years. Reading about other peoples experiences truly helps - I'm not alone. When I eat healthily and stick to foods that are OK with me, and take 2-3 loperamide per day (Imodium), more if I'm travelling, then things are very manageable. But when I get back into depression, it throws everything off course.

Last year I pooped, badly, while driving to do my shopping. I had black trousers on and it was going down my legs. I got to the store, went up to a female worker, told her what I was going through and asked for trousers and cleaning stuff and that I would pay later and was in the disabled toilet for an hour cleaning up. Was treated kindly and with respect. I didn't feel embarrassed. I'm human and do the best I can. I am now VERY vocal about this - which opens doors for others to express themselves.

I had a holiday romance 5 years ago , it was the first time I had actually slept in a bed, all night, with a man. I was uncomfortable and nervous as hell - will I poop/fart? I told him of my concerns, he said 'oh well, if you poop in bed, I'll probably gag a few times and jump out of bed, hold my nose etc, but then I'll get over it very quickly and help clean you up!'. He meant it. I thought that was so romantic - I really did! I let him spend five more nights in my bed. It was fab! Haven't seen him since, it was fun, not love. But we still email each other a couple of times a year.

What I would like to say to others is to start talking to people asap, be vocal, there's lots of info out there, demand help, research and do what's right for you. Lots of trial and error. What works for me might not work for you. You'll get people who don't believe you, others who don't/won't understand nor care but lots who will understand, care, support and love you.

Thank you for reading my story.