Im in need of a rant !!!!!

I cant beilive my family at all .. i hardly ever see them and when i do they just make out that im not telling the truth and thta there is nothing wrong with me... they keep all the windows and doors open and when i asked one of them to close it they said no it hasn t to be open .. i said please i frezzing cold no theres nothing wrong with you every one gets cold..... baring in mind that i had slept two nights in the van out side (as nearly ever time i go down there they kick off at me .. most of the time i havent even doen anything..) and the van was soooo freezing just felt like i had an attack all night long...from sleeping in the van i could feel my feet legs or nost of my body.. i layed there and relaxed and got same feeling back when i look at my feet the top was dark purple and the bottom souls of my feet where a weird white colour.. i then went up to have a shower to warm me up .. was lush coz i closed the window.. only to be told off as soon as i came out.. i told me brother i can not warm up or shower or bath with the window open as it will only make me co0lder and then the pain starts.. but not theres nothing wrong with me imjust a drama queen who no one likes ...im not allowed to talk about raynuds or bipolar to my family as to themits not true even tho and can see with there own eyes me being purple all over and shivering but it s all in my head .. imthe f*** up of the family...... so what have i learnt from my weekend away ... theres nothing wrong with me and that its all in my head andi wear tooo many clothes so im not going to where warmer clothes or do anything to warm my body up just coz they can see it doesn t mean its happening i should never speak about it again..all i am is a drama queen`.. to be honest i just want to dig a whole jump in and never came out ever again....

7 Replies

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  • Poor you.....so many people are in denial of their family members being ill in anyway. And if you have an 'invisible illness' like bipolar they really dont believe you. However I would encourage you to seek friends who can support you emotionally through groups such as this site.

    AND take care of yourself. Their understanding and sympathy will not help at all if you get worse from either of your illnesses. I am amazed at their lack of belief with the Raynauds....that's easy enough to see isnt it? Hope you are feeling better now. And as you seem to get no enjoyment from visiting family perhaps its better not to visit in cold weather and sleep outside in a van...could you not wait and make a half day visit when the weather warms up some......thinking of you......

  • Ouch - family's a pain aren't there want about meeting somewhere neutral, restaurant or something. i agree with above coment in want they say Sometimes its good to let go, and not to bottle it up, trust me i used to bottle it up. i have another invisible problem anxiety.

  • I live in bournemouth and my so called family live in cornwall and we where going down for a family party... and we have another to go to on the 13th april and after that i dont want to go down there again.. i just dont gel with them any more... and im not allowed to be affected by raynauds or bipolar... i just end up coming home and feeling like crap and a hypocondricate (cant spell) plus i dont work due to raynauds n bipolar and i dont drive so im the lowest of the low in my family... i think i would be lost if it wasn t for this website and peeps on here... xx and i suffer from anxiety too its horrible .. i used to be soo confident outing and always happy .. now i use all my energy just to keep warm .. then everyone thinks im being weird with them all.. 'god whats wrong with you ' you never used to be like this' hmmm ay be thats coz im trying to keep warm 24/7 and tryoing to deal with my bipolar head too... i do feel very alone at times .. and like people dont care.. like when im at home and im in the bath as im freezing then the kids my partner and the dog come in and out and leave the door open.. the frontdoor to the flat is right opsite my bathroom door and when i ask them to either close the front door or not to come in if im in the bath the all moan and say god stop having ago at us all .. buut i wasnt i just asked if people could help me by keeping the door closed... but i have come round to there way of thinking im nothing never have been and never will be.. and im only here for them and everyone else and thats just the way it is.. about time i got over it and done want everyone else wants, my health is nothing and they are more important them some silly thing like me... sorry for the rant !!!

  • You didn't say if you have been diagnosed with Raynaud's.

  • yes i ve got serve raynauds and bipolar

  • Its good to let it go

  • Oh my god! how horrible to make you feel so crap! glad you came here to rant though.something we all need to do! The "invisible" illnesses that we have,alot of people seem to hearing. they look at you as if it's all in our heads.makes me annoyed just thinking about it! When they have a prob they seem to be only to happy to tell us about it though.Hope you're feeling better now though?

    Have you thought about staying in a cheap B&B or cheap hotel ie Travel lodge/premier inn as you can get some really cheap deals if you book lots in advance. I know you said you don't work so it's an extra cost but I'm sure you'd be more comfy and relaxed!

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