Hi,
I’m writing this the early hours of Friday morning in what’s been my first week at work. I’m a recent graduate, and this is literally my first full time job ever (shifts are 8.30-5.00 and 9.00-5.30) it’s a busy office admin job and so far it’s not been too bad (at least while I’m in work).
The problem is my life outside work. I’ve been an anxious individual for years now and I do suffer from seriously depressing and anxious ruminations fairly often. I am having enormous issues with sleep; in my first week of work I’ve probably averaged around 3 hours per night. I completely hate this, I lie in bed thinking about work despite trying my absolute best to shut it off. As a serial worrier and overthinker, my thoughts are all over the place right now, and I’m starting to convince myself I’ll never be able to hold down a full time job of this variety.
I’m extremely scared and anxious about my situation. Everyone is telling me to give it time but I’m totally convinced that it won’t work. I can’t continue to live like this, I’ve always taken sleep for granted really throughout my time in education and this new-found insomnia is absolutely killing me. The simple fact is that I really did not anticipate this, and I’m not someone who is going to sit there and live like this because it will genuinely kill me.
I’m going to try going to the doctors about it but every article I’ve read online re/ work-relate stress/anxiety and insomnia is basically just people putting up with it or a list of trivial things you can do at night to try to help you sleep which I just know won’t help. All around me I see people coping extremely well with working life, whether it be my girlfriend, friends or colleagues and I am just dumbfounded as to why this has hit me so hard. Does anyone have any words of advice/reassurance for me? I’m in an extremely bad place right now
Thanks,
Arran