Sleep anxiety/dying in sleep fear etc.

[Toshanicole]

’ve been having terrible sleep anxiety every night! I’m afraid if I fall asleep that I’ll die in my sleep and not wake up, or something will happen to my kids. I fight my sleep all night it’s horrible and I’ve told my doctor how bad it is but they do nothing!! 😫😢

[Hidden]

Man, that must be scary! Sorry to hear this. Has anything triggered this anxiety? For example, a past similar trauma where something did happen to you or your kids, etc. Have you tried mediation? Or acknowledging the feeling without judging it (mindfulness)? I read somewhere that if you fight with your anxiety, it just fuels it.

[Toshanicole in reply to Hidden]

Well my grandma just passed away in her sleep this past August 😒 every since then I would get the fear of dying in my sleep, so I’ll panic and stay up all night fighting my sleep. And if I do happen to fall asleep at any time, like that space inbetween awake and deep sleep, right before I hit deep sleep, my body will literally Jump up , wake me up and I’ll sit up trying to catch my breath..I also have ptsd from a fire. My moms ex boyfriend drinched my moms front door in gasoline and threw a match at it and it blew into flames, me and my mom ,’my 2 small children an my grandma was inside. I had to bust out a back bedroom window and get my kids out who were only 1 & 2 at the time and help everyone else out. Since then I have a fear of natural fires or anything in my own home so some night I’ll be afraid if I fall asleep I won’t know there’s a fire ..I just have a bad anxiety and panic disorder in general but this sleep anxiety is getting worse and taking a toll on me I’m so exhausted.

[Hidden in reply to Toshanicole]

Ok, wow! It’s not surprising, then, that you’re anxious. Are you seeing anyone to help you with this (you don’t need to answer if too personal a question)? Do you know about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT), practicing mindfulness, etc.? I know there’s a lot of literature out there about this. The New Harbinger Self-Help Worbooks co-authored by different authors is good. I have the one for anxiety, but there is also one for panic, PTSD, and other issues. Are you in the States? If so, Barnes and Noble has these.

[Hidden]

Hi, me again!

I was just going over the materials I got from a session on anxiety. One of the sheets outlines what is important to remember when you are having an anxiety attack. The points are as follows:

- that you are having a normal reaction, but just at the wrong time

- that your attack is not dangerous - you are neither going crazy, will die, or will lose control.

- you need to think about what is happening in your body now and not what you are afraid will happen.

- you should allow the fear to go over without fighting it

- that you should continue what you were doing once the attack passes

I was also given a really good handout on the fight-or-flight response. Unfortunately, I am not sure where they got the info. from (or else I would direct you to the source), but the gist is that it talks about the science behind the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, their role in fight-or-flight, and what happens in the body when in fight-or-flight mode (what symptoms we feel). You might want to research this so you are better informed as to what is happening to you. I definitely am better informed. If you want more info., I’d be more than happy to outline the points from the paper for you (it’s only 3 pages, so shouldn’t take that long).

[Toshanicole in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for all of your input and information! Although some of the things are easier said than done. But the one thing I do do that helps me if anything is taking deep breaths while it’s happening but it’s such an awful feeling when I have my panic attacks. I get this electrical wave that starts from my head and goes to my toes like a wave and every time I feel it I feel like I’m going to pass out and I have to have someone hold my hand if someone is with me because I get afraid to be alone afraid something will happen to me. The scariest is when it happens while I’m driving with my kids in the car and I have to pull over. I just try to breath it out but it doesn’t always work! And yes I went to my doctors a month ago and they gave me vistiral for my anxiety but I can’t even take it because it puts me to sleep and I told them that but they didn’t try anything else. Just irritates me. Like what does someone have to do to get help anymore and the proper help or just a doctor who cares. I feel like none of the doctors or physicians I’ve seen about all my mental health has cared or taken me seriously or just think my anxiety isn’t as bad as I’m claiming , when it is! Feel like I’m dying every time.

[Hidden in reply to Toshanicole]

Definitely hear you there — loud and clear! They make it sound so easy, but in reality it’s not. I’m glad you do the breathing. Do you breathe from your diapraghm (deep breaths) or do you tend to breathe further up by your shoulders (fast paced breaths)? Breathing from your diagraphm (where you conscuiously feel like you are filling up a balloon in your stomach, then deflating it) is supposed to be better for you because it gets more oxygen to the muscles.

One of the many things I learned in this class is feeling faint is a symptom of fight-or-flight. The blood rushes from the head to where it’s needed to defend yourself, and this causes the feeling of lightheadedness.

It is an awful feeling not to be understood; I totally get that! I have a condition called Restless Legs, which is not widely understood and seldom recognized as a real problem even by most doctors! I am very fortunate to have doctors who either know about RLS or are willing to learn, but I know many sufferers who pull their hair out trying to get doctors to take them seriously! Would it be possible to switch doctors? In the RLS community that I’m part of here at HU, it happens all the time. I know it’d be a lot of work on your part, but you deserve a team that is on your side.

Good luck!

[Toshanicole in reply to Hidden]

I totally know all about restless leg syndrome !! Me and my mom suffer from it. Mine isn’t on a daily basis but when it does happen it happens at night time making it hard to sleep as well. Feel like I just want to shake my legs off or feel like they just have to be moving from the feeling it gives my legs. I’ll randomly kick my legs in bed lol im a mess for only being 25 this just doesn’t make sense! You seem to know a lot about health condintons. Are you a nurse or anything ? But when I take breaths it’s literskky the same breaths like you’re in labor having a baby. Those deep long hard breaths to slow down your heart rate or atleast try to and try to catch your breath and get back control over my body. Doesn’t work every time but I still do it and the breathing does help me get through it. I just close my eyes and lay back taking long deep breaths til it goes away but sometimes it worse like when I get those cold electrical like waves that go from head to toe. Those are the worst ones where I feel like I’m dying. Idk what that wave is but it feels like what would happen before you die I swear. I’m on Effexor and Abilify for my depression , anxiety , ptsd and bipolar. It’s helped a lot with my depression but not my anxiety.

[Hidden]

No, not a nurse. Just someone who has a complex medical history and has done a lot of research because of it.

You have it too?! I’m so sorry to hear that. It is utter hell, isn’t it?

Effexor was one of many many meds. throughout my 20+ years with depression. Have you heard of Clonazepam (brand name Klonopin)? I was on it at one point for anxiety. I can’t remember the effect it had on me, but thought I’d mention it.

[Toshanicole in reply to Hidden]

Yes I’m actuslly tried klonopin before (not prescribed my mom had it) during a couple panic attacks and it helps tremendously but it’s a benzo and I can’t go into a dr office telling them that’s what I want you know? Although it has been the only thing that’s helped me out of the 3 meds I’ve ever tried for my anxiety and panic. Actually had one a little bit ago and I’m so tired now. They always make me sleepy after I have one. But my children’s bday party is tomo and all the running I did for it today getting stuff kinda through me into panic mode. Gosh it’s horrible.

[Hidden in reply to Toshanicole]

Oh my gosh I have this too. I’m afraid I will die when I feel too over tired and start to fall asleep. It absolutely is awful

[Bumley]

I sort of have a similar anxiety due to a lack of awareness of Hypo (lack of blood sugar) which can cause death in sleep. I take precautions by having a high carbohydrate drink and snack late at night that will keep blood sugars higher in the night which I can alleviate at breakfast with insulin. I can at least relax about it because I have a solution!

[Cathi0103]

What causes your anxiety? Why do you feel you’re going to die in your sleep? Heart issues?