Supporting a significant other

Hi all, I'm new here.

A couple weeks back, my girlfriend and I split due to issues with our sex life. We didn't talk for a week or so afterwards. When we did talk again and grabbed lunch together, and she told me she has a tumour on her ovary -- she goes in for surgery this week.

Knowing this now, I want to support her in every way I can. We've talked, and she's said a visit to the hospital afterwards would be appreciated.

Any ideas for how I can help be there for her? I'm reading everything I can find on laparotomies, ovarian tumours, what to expect during recovery, etc.

Thank you guys so, so much.

4 Replies

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  • Take her a treat, hospital food is not the best. Clear it with her nurse before giving it to her. Visit her daily, ask how she if feeling, listen closely to her answers. She needs your presence more than anything else. Tumors ore not always cancer. Once you know better what she is facing you can support her in other ways.

  • Be there for her but don't crowd her, your circumstances are now very different to how they were but there will be ways you can support her. Let her tell you what she needs but bear in mind you have had a relationship that ended because of difficulties in your personal life together so don't pressure her while she is vulnerable. Her tumour may not be cancerous and I really hope it's not. Do let us know how she get on ❤️Xx Jane

  • Listen carefully to what she says. It's often hard for us to ask for help. Once you know what she is up against, whether it is cancer or otherwise, we can probably provide some additional suggestions. But as a survivor myself, I want to thank you for being there for her.

  • Nick,

    The fact that you are on here asking questions and looking for ways to be supportive speaks volumes.

    The whole situation sucks big time and her needs may change a few times in the same day.

    My thoughts...

    Don't try to fix it.

    Let her be messy without judgement.

    Take it all one baby step at a time, moment by moment. Don't look back with guilt or forward with fear. You will gain wisdom to give what is needed in that exact moment.

    My sweetheart and I were broken up at the time I got my diagnoses. I had broken up with him 6 months prior, bad move on my part🤔😕. Anyway, he immediately showed up for me. He is amazing! We cried, laughed, cussed, prayed, talked for hours, sat quiet for days, had faith and courage, fear and doubt.

    It was and is

    Brutal + Beautiful = Brutiful

    God Bless you both as you journey on!💚😉

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