Passive aggressive comments - SHARE Metastatic ...

SHARE Metastatic Breast Cancer

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Passive aggressive comments

blms profile image
blms
32 Replies

To the sister who has chosen a passive aggressive comment about me and my posts: I thought this was a site to share and support each other not just be cheerleaders for all--I think we all have substantial numbers of people doing that for us. To say, that I continue to annoy everyone came as a surprise and disappointment. So sad that we cannot share our thoughts and experiences with others. Guess I will look at another site to communicate.

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blms profile image
blms
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32 Replies
USIrishcolleen profile image
USIrishcolleen

blms,

Please do not leave the site. I find your contributions to be very insightful and helpful. Please do not let one person make you leave. There are so many that woukd miss you.

Sincerely,

Colleen

viennagirl profile image
viennagirl

I would not let one person destroy the wonderful and helpful words you share with us. I love your comments and appreciate your courage. Thank you so much. The person who has slighted you should leave the site. Hugs Vienna

8576 profile image
8576 in reply toviennagirl

Ditto! Agree entirely.

Cheers, June S.

hdhonda profile image
hdhonda

It breaks my heart that someone made you feel like you need to leave. I hope that wasn't the intention of the person. You are very much wanted and needed on this board. Please don't leave, your opinions are needed and appreciated. Hugs and blessings to you. Hannah

Debbigbang profile image
Debbigbang

OMG noooo don't leave 😭. Not sure of this post that that happened to you. We really have more than enough without dealing with the rudeness. Sometime when people get like that I wonder were it's coming from and what they are dealing with 🤷‍♀️. But it is still hurtful and that isn't fair.

I very much appreciate your thoughts and appreciate your answers to questions. You need to know that many appreciate you very much 🥰

Hugs

Deb

blms profile image
blms

Yes, that is very true. It was rude and not necessary as I have never, nor would I, been rude. The was an emoji as if that made a difference. Seriously

Pachira profile image
Pachira

I follow your posts because I find them meaningful. I haven’t seen anything derogatory though sometimes i might not be paying attention. I find it difficult enough with texts these days as I sometimes might interpret them in a way that wasn’t meant. Your posts are always eloquent but that doesn’t mean we all have the gift of expression Please re-visit what you saw and remember too that when we are not feeling well, we are not the most gracious. I’ve had to bite my tongue lately as my husband has had toothache for 6 weeks. He is a considerate person but the pain has been getting to him. Thankfully he’ll have the two teeth pulled tomorrow. Lots of love Chris

MyMiracle13 profile image
MyMiracle13

Oh please do not leave this site. You are in my daily prayers and I read your posts and though I do not always reply, I find your posts quite helpful.

Ntash01 profile image
Ntash01

Please don’t leave!We don’t all having to be singing from the same hymn sheet… what’s the point in that? We are all dealing with different things grouped under the ‘incurable’ umbrella - issues, organs, medication, families (or lack of), pain, sadness ect and we should be able to say what/how we feel, and as adults we can either comment or ignore. Or have I missed the point of this forum for the past year! Hearing different views is a good thing - knowledge is power :-)

bubblystream profile image
bubblystream in reply toNtash01

Such a good points. Everyone is dealing with a lot on this board. Someone maybe out of sorts snd say something better left unsaid. Ignore and move on. Kind advice you gave. 🙂

PJBinMI profile image
PJBinMI

I'm so sorry that you were treated badly here! And like others, I'd hate to have you leave and would miss you.

No you must t go. I value your insightful posts.I am sorry you have been made to feel this way and I haven’t read any derogatory comments. Maybe they should apologise.

Stay please

Clare

I haven't seen the comments you refer to, all I know is that speaking for myself, I find your contribution here very helpful and informative . I would miss seeing you here and hope that you decide to stay. Do not let 1 individual, who if you do not value their opinion, let them chase you away. X

jersey-jazz profile image
jersey-jazz

Dear blms---You are such a wonderful being! Please do not let one comment said the wrong way rob the rest of us of your presence. Mostly, and we hear you and see you, you are hurting badly, inside and out, and that untoward comment has put you down, down, down. We wrap our arms around you and give you warmth and love. This beastly MBC is such a terrible thing to deal with because it presents the unknown to us with every twist and turn.Frances XXX OOO

Justme153 profile image
Justme153

Please don’t leave! Sandra has had the same problem in the past . I wonder if this is the same person ?? There always is someone who try’s to ruin things for everyone don’t let this person do that to this site!!

AvidBooklover profile image
AvidBooklover

There are times you just have to ignore a comment. For perspective...recently I did an author interview that was posted on YouTube that currently has 12,000 views. When I last looked at the comments there were 2-3 negative ones abt me, and I was upset about them. My producer said...12,000 viewed it and 2-3 failed to get what you did. Think about it. I still can recite those comments, but I also can do math and ignore.

So here there are many people, including me, who value your posts, so do a skip on that person, or perhaps write privately that their words stung. They may not realize what they did and may need to think more on what they share.

Write on...

Beryl71 profile image
Beryl71

Not aware of such a comment..I find Facebook worst. And sometimes when I'm posting on behalf of a group I feel attacked when people make negative comments. But sometimes it's worse than others , depending on how low I feel. Take care. Perhaps we should all stop a while before hitting the send button. X

EZSZ profile image
EZSZ

Dear blms, I have no idea who said what, but I'd like to tell you all a story.

Two neighbors had years of dispute. Finally they decided to go to a Rabi for arbitrary. The first walks in, tells his story. The Rabi says: you are right. The man walks out happy.

Second neighbor walks in, tells his story. The Rabi says: you are right. The man walks out happy.

The Rabi's wife appears behind the curtains and says: husband, both told you opposite stories, how can both be right?

The Rabi says: you are right too.

All the best.

viennagirl profile image
viennagirl in reply toEZSZ

That is a good one. Heh, heh... Right now I need a chuckle. So thank you for this story.

My husband and I have been going through hell. We have a cottage that we rent through VRBO and this winter we approved a four month rental. We normally only have people come and stay for one or two weeks. We have had such a wonderful experience with our guests until this last couple of people. We rented them our cottage for four months. That rental turned into a night mare. We will never have long term rentals again. I am just sick from all the stress. I think I need to meditate or something to get the rage and anger out of my soul. Thank you wonderful ladies for listening. I love the rabbi story but I don't think he would have told these people that they were right. We probably should have called the police but we are old and don't want to risk any retaliation. We just gave them back their December money - even though they left our place dirty, damaged and have stolen our linens. I was naive to think a long term rental would be okay.

Live and learn the saying goes. I try to tell myself that life has wrinkles and they usually iron themselves out eventually.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy holiday season. Hugs Marlene

EZSZ profile image
EZSZ in reply toviennagirl

Dear viennagirl, it breaks my heart that you experienced stress. Yes, there are bad people. I've been through some bad experiences too, but I always tell my family: do not allow any experience with one person influence your attitude towards others. If you'd apply it to others, you'll be looking around your shoulders all your life. I'm sure you don't want the bad people to win twice.

So lately I watched the movie about Meir Lansky on Netflix. He said something that I love:

If you lose money - you lose nothing

If you look your health - you lose something

If you lose your personality - you lose everything.

Happy holidays, hugs

Dully

viennagirl profile image
viennagirl in reply toEZSZ

Oh my! I love that. Yes.....I just have to find a way to get over being bitter. Thank you so much for your supportive words. I will heal but I have to try to find my faith in people again. I have always been too trusting and now I am learning that I need to still care but also be careful. Hugs for your words. Marlene

I know feeling can get hurt easily and it stings badly but some people can say things in a very nice way and others can be a little blunt . When not communicating with voice & emotion it is hard to get our wording to say what we are trying to communicate . I hope you decide to stay with this group , everyone is so supportive of each other.

Luann

Aquadog profile image
Aquadog

Good Heavens! No. Just no. Please don't leave this group. I confess I'm answering this blind, because I did not see the post you're referring to, but you were obviously hurt and that's not acceptable. I, like you, look to my sisters here for support. I learn a lot from the posts even if they don't directly affect me. The opinions of others are gifts given to me from you and others. You all ask questions I don't ask, make suggestions I don't think of, and share your thoughts about everything I didn't realize I was wondering about! We need each other. Stand strong, stand together. And please reconsider leaving our group.

Cowgirl1951 profile image
Cowgirl1951

Please do not leave the group. We need your knowledge, experience and support. I wish I had your talent to answer posts.

SusieIM profile image
SusieIM

So sorry to hear about your experience here, most of the time this is truly a supportive site. Please give us another try (smile), Sending hugs

NPmary profile image
NPmary

I am so sorry this happened!It never should! This is supposed to be a safe space.

Wishing you peace and love and comfort.

RLN-overcomer profile image
RLN-overcomer

Sister/Thriver/Health Advocate/Warrior. Your input on this site is important to so many. :) There are always Nay Sayer's, and miserable people :( who don't love the life they are living. As a believer I have to pray for them even when I don't want to. Sister//Thriver/Health Advocate, and yessssss warrior Don't let anyone rain on your parade GOD bless you, and Happy Thanksgiving to you, and your loved on'e. XoXoX😇

Fiercefighter13 profile image
Fiercefighter13

It hurts my heart and soul to hear that anyone would speak to anyone else in this manner. Please don't leave this group, this is a wonderful group of lovely people, and you would be missing out on so much goodness. God knows, we can use the love, support, valuable information we get, and cheering on that only other people living with our condition need. I have left other groups because of rude, cold or hurtful comments. I have found this site to be so positive, one naysayer or rude person cannot be allowed to stop anyone else from finding the peace and comfort they need. I hope you are feeling better, God bless.....

Sunnydrinking profile image
Sunnydrinking

I’m so sorry to hear you have experienced a negative comment.

It would be really sad for any of you very helpful ladies to leave this group.

I’ve been a member since diagnosis- around 3 1/2 years & find the help & the support so very valuable to me.

Jo xx

USIrishcolleen profile image
USIrishcolleen

Sandra,

You are AMAZING! You always know how to make someone feel better, inspite of having your own “ups and downs.”

Best,

Colleen

Missmaddie615 profile image
Missmaddie615

PLEASE DONT LEAVE!!! You/we ALL need each other! You/we ALL help each other! If somebody is negative, that’s their problem NOT yours! You have helped so many people- you don’t even realize how many lives you have touched, please don’t let one person ruin that! 💗💗💗

TammyCross profile image
TammyCross

I have no idea what was said to you, either, and I am shocked and sorry to hear that Sandra has had more negative and explicit comments. I am writing on behalf of the emoji dyslexic. I have, apparently, sent really inappropriate emojis, thinking they meant something completely different. I try to stop myself from using them since I don't want to inadvertently insult anyone, but sometimes I risk it. I am hoping that the person who sent the emoji that upset you is horrified that they mis-emojied.

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