Tomorrow morning I have my first scan after starting Xeloda in October. I've only had one good scan since being diagnosed in February '19 (my first scan on Ibrance). I've shown progression each time. Everolimus did nothing. I'm afraid Xeloda isn't working as the ache under my rib cage which diminished completely for about 4 weeks is now back. I'm worried the liver mets are progressing.
I've been off the board for the most part since starting this drug. I'm struggling with deep depression. The new house is a distraction, but it was a stupid decision. Too much house. Too much money. Too many steps. I'm sick of being alone. Sick of being sick....but most of all sick of being scared.
I'm sorry to whine. I know the only answer comes from the scan, and what will be will be.
I hope everyone had a nice holiday. Thank you for listening. Andi
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Arisgram
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Andi I’ve been worried about you. I will pray for good results for your scan. If the Xeloda doesn’t seem to be working, try increasing the dose. My tumor markers after 1 and a half month of taking 1000 mg of Xeloda still showed a slight increase so my oncologist raised it to 1500 mg daily and glad to say my tumor markers after 1 and a half months of taking the increased dose has decreased. Take care. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so🙏 Keep the faith. Maria
I know the depression that comes from sick of being sick. I’m right there with you. Seems like there is nothing to do but keep moving forward. Wintertime blues and Covid isolation aren’t helping. I just keep telling myself to persevere until the sun comes out again. Hugs to someone feeling like I do.
I’ve had one scan since starting Xeloda, and my Mets to my liver and lymph nodes had all decreased by about 20%....still not sure what’s going on in my lungs....my one bone met isn’t changing. I hope the rib ache is something else! And I hope it turns out that Xeloda is helping you as it is helping me!The dreary days were getting me down too....but yesterday it was sunny and I did a little hike with my husband (home for a month!) and poodle.....it really helped! I hope you get some sun, and that you feel well enough to get out in it!
Thank you for the encouragement. I'm glad you are seeing some positive results. Hopefully Spring will come early and we can all perk up! Be well and stay safe. Andi
Hi. No matter how down you feel, know that you are not alone. I am in a scarily similar position to you. Diagnosed December 2018. Had to change oncologists because two lines of treatment did nothing and he was very keen to talk about prognosis. Since the switch I’ve had 9 good months on Ibrance and Faslodex then more progression. Xeloda did nothing - lots of progression in liver - and now I am taking Exemestane and Everolimus. Just so frightened that I am firing through so many treatments so quickly. However, I avoid being totally overwhelmed by this thought: my cancer just hasn’t met its next nemesis yet. Waiting for that to happen is mental torture but I find CBT strategies helpful in all but the darkest days. I hope that your liver pain is something else entirely but if it’s not, there are other treatments and the next one may be “the one”.
It must be so difficult to be positive when none of your treatments have worked so far- the hope from periods of stability are what keep me going and progression is scary. At this time of year and with the pandemic as well, it is even more challenging not to sink into despondency.
I really hope Xeloda is working better for you than you think, but if not, your oncologist will have other strategies- there are more options out there and more coming through. One will do the trick for you.
In the meantime, try and spoil yourself a bit with little treats and time spent doing things you like- even with the restrictions, we can find small pleasures.
Will be thinking of you and sending very best wishes and prayers for your results and ongoing treatment- please know that we on here care and understand.
Hi Andi: I can't add much to what Jackie has sent. Very nice and good advice. I am just about to start Xeloda. Worried about the side effects. Hoping they won't be to bad for me. I am starting at 1500 mgs. It seems the pain from my last Faslodex shot is almost gone. That is great. Stay well.
Andi,So sad to read about your anxieties. I’m not sure what’s worse, the treatment itself or the anxiety ahead of the never ending testing. You are in my prayers, Andi, not just for good news but for God’s healing light, comfort, and peace.
And don’t beat yourself up over your beautiful house. It has given you enjoyment and EXERCISE!
Hi Andi, you may well have had your scans by now and I hope you have been okay today. I hope you don’t have to wait too long for the results. Please let us know how you get on.I am so sorry to hear you have been having a torrid time. We understand that on this board.
It is good to have a distraction and a new house purchase is certainly that. And steps mean exercise! Have you been thinking of re modelling or redecorating?
Hoping your scans are good this time. Take care. Vicki
I’m currently on my 3rd cycle of Xeloda and wondering whether or not it is working.... I’ve had liver progression twice in the last six months so I’m naturally anxious.... I’ve decided to try & think that it is working really well until I’m told otherwise 👍🤞
I’m due a scan in the next couple of weeks and will keep you posted once I have results etc.
I understand how you are feeling and wish you all the very best.
Cancer sucks, especially during COVID and cold, wet weather with dark nights.
I totally understand, first diagnosed in 2005 second in 2014 and MBC IN 2018...I’m so over being a cancer patient. Unlike you I sold my townhouse in PA. 42 steps, three bedrooms 3.5 baths. I purchased it new in 2012 and was so proud...I am single also...
When my boss told me he was retiring in 2019 I woke up one day and said I’m living a new journey and moving to FL.
My daughter relocated in 2018 with her job and when I stayed for 2 months with her it became part of my bucket list.
I have an adorable ranch small 3 bedrooms 2 full baths, a lanai and a in ground pool, perfect for me.
My daughter and I have issues so it’s off and on. Drama. I live for me now especially in this Covid era, I would have never imagined.
I still work remotely as our closing date seems to be around June...so much has to be done with closing a business.
Do you have help with your depression? I don’t understand how we can not be at times. My heart 💔 breaks for the horrible Disease that has robbed us. Please don’t suffer alone reach out to me any time...sending prayers and positive thoughts to you you can message me anytime, if not on here. I don’t usually respond to any post, it becomes so overwhelming at times.
I don't know what to say to you to make you feel a little better or give you some comfort .Cancer is scarey especially metastatic ,what we have. I try not to think about it, I push it to the deepest part of my brain and pray Do you have a pet ,my dog is such a comfort to me.Dogs can sense when you are not feeling well
Praying for you Arisgram. That God would hold you close & comfort your worried, fearful & despairing heart. That your hope is in Him alone. That He would restore health and fill you with His redeeming love. 🙏❤️🙏
Hi AndiSo sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. It’s horrible when the worries consume you. I am just writing to let you know that I get a fair bit of under the rib pains which come and go. I have managed to relate mine to my mets in the spine as I don’t have any mets in the liver (well no obvious ones!), and I get the pain alternating both sides. This is just me, but I am sure, as Sandra said, the pain can be due to a number of things.
Have you considered counselling? I have just had 6 sessions and I found it very helpful to talk through some of my concerns. The counsellor helped me to rationalise things and gave some good advice. For each topic we discussed I felt I had dealt with them and they were no longer playing on my mind, plus I have some tools now for when my thoughts get the better of me.
I do hope you can come out of your dark place and that you get some good results very soon.
Hi thereI’m on the same treatment and feel like you do...I’m going to try a counselling session on Thursday as I’m in a bad place...fed up of side effects have no appetite or energy or interest in anything apart from reading and watching movies...I want to get fit again but I’m just exhausted all the time and feel there’s no point to my life and I’m ‘in the way’ and spoiling everyone else’s life
My vision has never got better ( double vision) and since that happened I’ve really gone downhill...especially as I’ve not ridden my horses since then...it was my life since I was a girl but nobody understands
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xeloda. 
Results of first scans on Enhertu 
Xeloda
First CT scan results 
