I am literally feeling sick to my stomach. I just spoke with my family doctor and my bone scan, the first since I started chemo, shows several areas that have grown (which I could feel the pain from) and the rest is the same as my last scan 6 months ago. She asked when I see my oncologist next, which is Tuesday. I’m bawling my eyes out and feeling at the end of my rope.
When I had a lot of Progression and had to start chemo it felt like a kick in the gut. I was told there are no other oral meds I can try and that it is chemo forever. I was started on Abraxane as it is his go to chemo drug. Now I have no idea what he will do. I hate chemo and how it makes me feel but placed all my hope in the fact it would finally do something and make some of those bone Mets clear up.
I’m also confused as my orthopaedic surgeon said my last scan showed some healing. I’m hoping beyond all hope that the bone scan is only showing where there is cancer and not telling me of some of it is healing. I was feeling so positive and to hear this today is the worse. Laying in bed crying and typing to you ladies as you are my quiet support team. I really needed to vent here before I explain what I was told to family. This is one reason I wish my oncologist would call with results and not make me wait for my appointment. I have my family docs read on the report but not his.
I'm sorry to hear of your results, it seems a few of us are having a rough time at the moment, I just keep saying 'give me a break!' . You vent all you like, lord knows we all need to at some point. It's difficult to rehash over it all to family especially when you don't really feel you have the full picture and can not answer any questions with certainty, frustrating!
Sarah , I am sorry you are having to wait till Tuesday to get a proper explanation of your recent scan from your onc ., which I hope is much better than what you’re now thinking , and I just want to give you a hug and tell you to hang in there . Sending love x
Thank you so much Sandra. I like your explanation and it makes sense now that I have calmed down some. My ct scan from July showed some healing which my oncologist and orthopaedic surgeon both commented on.
I hope the increase is inflammation from healing or a fracture and not progression. I have put all my hope in this chemo. I’ve always had steady or some progression in my bones so was hoping this would be the first time I had some healing. My husband and best friend are both angry that she told me this info late on a Friday when I cannot ask my oncologist about it. My oncologist doesn’t like when she gives me results as he said she doesn’t know what she is reading. My friend and her partner are both livid and that just makes me love them more. They are ready to kick ass for me if needed lol.
It means so much for you to take time from your own issues to reach out to me. ❤️😘
I agree with Sandra. Wait for your onc to get clarification.
Sarah what a sensitive situation you are in. It’s also difficult to tell family and maybe friends. As thoughtful and loving as they are nobody knows how you feel.
We all hope so much that your new treatment will be successful and help you immensely, especially with the pain control.
Cry as much as you like, it’s understandable and hard to control. It’s a feeling and you must go with it.
Thinking of you
Cheryl
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Thank you Cheryl
I am so sorry you are going through this . I have also experienced the well intentions of my family doctor giving me test results on the phone . The first couple times I was really upset until I had my appointment with my oncologist. Each time my family doctor calls and there are any changes on the scans she has used the same sad tone of voice , offered assistance and expressed her sorrow . Usually once I go to my oncologist appointment the information has not been as grave as my doctor has relayed to me . This has happened at least 3xs since diagnosed.
I am hoping this will be the case for You also.
I also have an oncologist appointment about scan results this Wednesday after my most resent call from my family doctor.
I have wondered about asking her not to call but the waiting for scan results drives me crazy.
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this experience. Hang in there .
Luann
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Thank you Luann. I’m like you as I hate waiting and my oncologist doesn’t call me anymore like he used to. I will be thinking of you Wednesday and hoping your news is good.
So glad Sandra has mentioned the difficulty interpreting the healing on scans. We are with you— please let us know the results after your appointment with Onc next week. (((Hug))). You are in my thoughts!
Thank you Chris. I have the most amazing husband and an adult son and daughter. My Mum is elderly but a great cheerleader and my best friend and her partner and the best. My husband came home from bed and crawled up beside me on the bed and we snuggled while I had a good cry and he calmed me. ❤️
Oh Sarah! I really like Sandra's explanation better than your family doctor's. I can't add much, but maybe this will help a little. My guy is a triple board certified doc and so smart he's downright weird! Every single time he's looked at one of my reports or ventured a diagnosis....he's been wrong! I don't rub it in, but it has gotten kind of funny. I truly believe only our oncologists can speak with any real authority.
I hope your GP is just "talking out his backside" as we say here in the south. Know we are here for you, and you can vent all you need to! Andi
Grateful that you have some good ass kickers in your corner while being sad for you that your GP was so dense on giving you the results on a Friday afternoon..
Distract yourself until you hear from the oncologist! It is so annoying when we think experts are weighing it, but they are instead muddling things. Makes me crazy!
I’m reading The Spoon Stealer. An ARC I received through NetGalley. A great place to read books before the are released (asked to give an honest review).
I confess that I do not love reading eBooks. For interviews, I fold down pages. So I kick and scream for print galleys, even if PDFs. Look there for The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah coming in Feb...and Eternal by Lisa Scottoline, a departure for her with a historical, coming in April.
I’m in Canada and i read everything. I like mystery/suspense, thrillers that aren’t too graphic, general fiction and for the light moments some rom/coms that are more comedy. Basically anything but sci/fi, horror or westerns.
For mystery/thrillers...if you have not read Shari Lapena, give her a whirl. QUICK reads....totally suspenseful! Another thriller coming in two weeks...The Girl in the Mirror by Rose Carlyle is terrific too. For more serious, The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett.
I will check these out. You mentioned Interviewing authors, do you work in the book industry? I also just won a print ARC of Jennifer Robson’s new book Our Darkest Night. I enter every contest I see on social media. Lol
Happy to recommend! His & Hers by Alice Feeney was a good quick thriller though I joked with her that I would have ended it differently. Also Monogamy by Sue Miller is well done.
Not too sure of the science behind it...But sometimes they say when u start a new med it gets slightly worse before getting better...Like your numbers can go up slightly before going down...
My husband is a retired surgeon and when we found out I was MBC, we both decided at that point, from then on, we'd wait for any results to come from my Onc. As Sandra pointed out as with your GP, other specialties don't necessarily know how to interpret results. Not only that, but if it's bad news, the Onc knows the next steps. Your GP thinks she's looking out for you, but may be causing unnecessary stress.
She definitely caused a lot of stress and after giving me the results says you will have to see what your oncologist wants to do.
Hi Sarah,
I'm so sorry to hear your news. I agree with Sandra. I think it's best to receive results from your oncologist rather than your GP. My GP doesn't even attempt to tell me what my radiology reports say, which I think is wise. They always defer to my oncologist. GPs are not qualified to read the reports and see exactly what is going on. What if your GP has got it wrong and has worried you needlessly? Now you are going to be worrying over the weekend. Please let us know what your oncologist has to say.
Take care,
Sophie
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Thanks Sophie. I owe you an email but have been stuck in my own head this past month.
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Don't worry, Sarah. Email me when you feel up to it. No pressure at all my dear friend.
Sophie
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Some days I have to force myself to do anything. I just need to make the effort more. I promise I will write this week. You will be my goal ❤️
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I know it isn’t easy. I was struggling emotionally today. I was reading through some old magasines about a British celebrity who died of cervical cancer some years ago and it really got me down. In the end I had to stop reading and throw the magasines out, as it was too much to be reminded of some of the realities of cancer. Don’t tell my husband, but I should have listened to him and not read the magasines. Rather than saying he was right he was “other than wrong!” 😂😂😂
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Lol. We won’t let him know he was right 😉. It’s hard reading articles about others that have had cancer. I recently read a book that did not mention the woman had breast cancer. I almost threw it out but I read it and then felt awful after it. I hope you feel better now ❤️
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Thanks, Sarah! Yes, it is hard reading about others who have had cancer. I also find it hard when people tell me about their friends and family who have had cancer and died from it. It gets me down because I put myself in their position and imagine myself dying too. So I know what you mean about the book you read. That's how I felt too, just awful. But I am feeling a lot better now, and hope you are too.
When is your appointment with your oncologist? Maybe he/she can shed more detailed light on the scan and hopefully the possibility of a chemo treatment that is a better fit. I keep reading that this disease can be so unique to each patient and the treatments are becoming so much more individualized.
Needless to say, you are in my heart and prayers, Sarah, and I hope that the oncologist will decide that abraxane might not necessarily be the "go to chemo" for you.
My appointment is Tuesday which is a good thing so my wait isn’t too long. Maybe a different chemo drug may be needed but each time a treatment is used it’s one less for the future. 😞. Thank you for the love and support.
Just want to say that I wish you better results when you meet with your oncologist. As everyone else has said, the best person to interpret the results is the oncologist. I’m pretty sure your chemo is working and that all will be okay❤️🙏
I agree with the above. My GP admits that he has not got the knowledge my oncologist does and he is reluctant to give me results. Last time I asked for them he said he could not find them and I am pretty sure they were there, but he wanted the oncologist to deliver the news.
You're so not alone. I'm on "chemo forever" and have managed to take "holidays" along the way and have good response. I have also been crying in the bed, although I usually cry in the shower. ?? Please keep us posted on your situation. Sending hugs your way.
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Progression in my bones. 
New treatment I am Stage4breast cancer ER(+)PR(+) HER(+)
