Good morning hope everyone is good. My husband and I made the decision to allow 2 of our 4 grandchildren to stay with us for a week. They live in Nevada and had been quarantined for 2months. Tomorrow we are going to have my father in law and mom over. We will all he sitting outside and wearing masks., we live in San Diego. My neighbor is giving me a hard time about this, but I told her I have been going to the stores and taking precautions. I have already been exposed to the virus twice since February. Thank you for letting me vent, I love that you all are hear to listen!
Feeling guilty : Good morning hope... - SHARE Metastatic ...
Feeling guilty
Written by
Gmaoftriplets
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
50 Replies
•
Hi there
I have a friend of 82 yrs...she has a twin sister and they’re both fit and well...although they live separately they meet up every morning and take their dogs for a walk...they’ve always done this
They’re not mixing with other members of the family and observe the distancing rules
She told me that she’s had some nasty comments and criticism from neighbours but she’s careful and can’t bear to be stuck in the house all the time...her little walks are keeping her sane
It’s a difficult one isn’t it?
Common sense must prevail as well as being happy
Barb xx
Yes, this is very difficult, I also have type 1 diabetes as well as the cancer, and to be honest if I didn't allow myself to have the grandkids over,the barbecue with close family I think my anxiety would get the best of me and I dont think I could handle it. I feel as if the good years of my life is over with this pandemic.
Do what you feel comfortable with...you’re not endangering any lives if they’ve been in quarantine they’re not a risk for you
Have a lovely time
Barb xx
Thank you for that, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that! 🙂
Good for you. I feel robbed of the last good year or years by this terrible Covid. If you are outside having a coffee with someone in your garden for instance I don’t see it’s a problem. Isolation is doing my head in 😊
Hi Bangor Belle, I thoroughly agree, time is very precious for us. I don't want to spend it sitting at home. I take short walks and avoid getting too close to people and have long chats. Fay
Mine too.
I have stopped wearing a mask when I’m outside. Only inside stores. I’ve decided that breathing fresh air beats recycling CO2!
I never wear one...they’re not much use and can give you a false sense of security...just my opinion
Barb xx
Hi,
Your neighbour should not be judging you or criticising your decisions. From what you say, you have been taking precautions and are being sensible. I have had a hard time with staying away from my family too, and haven't been able to.
My two brothers have learning disabilities and autism, so I can't just ignore them and not see them for months on end. My middle brother still lives at home with our dad, who is his full-time carer. So he needs some support, and can't do it all on his own. My brother's day service and respite has been closed since March. My oldest brother lives in an assisted living facility nearby, and I have been given permission to see him each week and take him out for a walk along the river, provided I don't take him into town or bring him home. So I get that there are certain situations that are not easily covered by the legislation or rules that have been set forth from our respective governments.
Sophie
I’d be fine if my neighbor had socially distant visits in their yard for what it’s worth.
I was getting depressed being in all the time so this week decided I am going to start walking the dog where its quiet, it's making me feel better psychologically
I started walking every morning with my neighbor and it sure had helped.
Hi Gmaoftriplets -
I'll add my voice to the chorus saying that what you're doing is fine. You're not exposing strangers/folks who haven't agreed to the virus. As long as you wear your mask (to protect others) and proceed in public (e.g. stores) as if you are potentially infected, I think you're right to do what you're doing.
One question, though...You say you were exposed twice...Do you think you had/fought off the virus? We're now thinking that maybe my daughter had the virus earlier this year and exposed me to it (I felt like I was fighting something off..), but it just seemed so implausible that I would be exposed and not end up very sick, likely dead, given my blood counts...I'd be interested to hear about any experience you've had..
Thanks, take care, BE CAREFUL! 
Lynn
Gmaoftriplets in reply to
Up until April 1 I worked for a health care organization, in a small clinic and 2 of our doctors had all the symptoms and were still seeing patients., we know one of the doctors had it and she was standing in front of me talking and not wearing a mask until the boss sent her home.And we are pretty sure our nephew had it as well and we were with him at a family gathering. I never felt sick. I am going to try and get the antibody test.
Good grief! What was that doc thinking? Glad you never got sick
in reply to 13plus
OMG, I agree! That seems incredibly irresponsible and selfish! My gosh!
SeattleMom in reply to
Hi, Lynn!
I was also very sick in February. Flu like symptoms that had me in bed for a week with sheer exhaustion. I wonder same thing now. Might it have been early COVID? I haven’t been sick since. Who will ever know?
💗💗 Linda
See if you can get the antibody test. I am going to email my oncologist and see if she will order one for me.
Great idea! 👍👍
in reply to SeattleMom
I agree w/ gma...Maybe you can get the antibody test. I'm trying to get my kids to take it and, if either is positive, I'll get it, too. If they don't get around to it soon, I'll just get it myself. I would def look for an "authorized" test (I'm thinking Quest would be a good place to go in the US) and know that there's a significant % of false positives...e.g. if 5% of patients are truly positive, 8.5% will get a result that indicates positive (per the NYT).
Enjoy your family! My mom turned 91 on May 5th and we went to see her, masks and all. She seemed very down and less oriented than usual. My dad is 90 and he was slightly better. I came home and decided they were coming here for Mother's Day as they needed a change of scenery. We had a lovely five-hour visit/dinner and they left in much better spirits! Took a photo of us all in masks so we all would remember this day. I have been so few places since March, or had in-person contact with so few. I honestly think I had IT in late March right after I closed our NY office. Fever of 102 for 2 weeks and 3 weekends, plus chills and a terrible wet cough. Totally wiped out with rolling symptoms. No taste. Exhaustion. Could not be tested as my cough was not dry. Had had flu and pneumonia shots. Looking for a good antibodies test. If it shows I had it, going to write THAT on a mask. Go make some memories
Wow, it sounds like you really did have it! A had a couple of friends tested positive and had similar experiences (in nyc) . Thank goodness you pulled through on your own .
If I did not, that was the sickest I have been in YEARS....what's weird is I was at a convention in late Jan with people from across the country and around the world. I came home sick...and a large number of people at the conference had bronchial issues. Pneumonia, nebulizers needed, etc. MANY people. I never really got better then in March the fever, etc. Funny thing...I was at Sloan and my WBC was WAY off for me in March. Normal for others, but not for me on Ibrance. I called my internist and asked for a antibiotic. After taking that I felt worse for a few days and attributed it to the antibiotic kicking in. Now, I really wonder. Seven days later I still had a fever, chills and a wet cough. Then crazily it was all gone in like 48 hours. I NOW realize I had ZERO energy those couple of weeks and how sick I was. I am really high energy, so as my husband said...:you were like normal people." VERY funny.
in reply to AvidBooklover
Wow! Please do let us know if you get the test...It would be comforting to know that our bodies might be strong enough to fight this off!
AvidBooklover in reply to
Will do!!! I am waiting for a GOOD antibodies test...my internist feels right now that they are not perfected. Heard Sloan MAY start doing them for their patients.
Glad to hear you are seeing family. I too made the decision to have one of the grand kiddos stay a few nights with me. It was nurturing to both of us as. Stay well😊
Glad to hear others are venturing out. We had 2 new grandsons during this time. We waited 2 weeks of quarantine but have then gone for a visit .. one even across a state line!! Mental health for all is extremely important. As long as we take precautions and are smart we can get through this and still be sane. I have a sister who is obsessed with concerns over the virus. She and her husband only leave the house once every 2 weeks for groceries. I worry about her mental health and what I think is becoming depression. She is upset with me about our visits... but after dealing with MBC and continued visits to my onc for injections thru all this .. I need those visits. Let’s all be smart but begin to live our lives!
I am with you 100% . If I didn't have the grandkids down and this little barbecue today I dont even want to think how it would effect my mental health.
Enjoy your together time. Seems like you have taken precautions but be careful.
Neighbor needs to MOB! Some of the precautions are starting to border on overkill. Enjoy your grandchildren and family !!
💗💗👍👍
Thank you!
Am I the only one among us who is only going out for medical appts and less than weekly to the grocery store, with mask on as soon as I get out of the car, and only speaking to family over the phone? I wasn't going out much before Covid19, so that part isn't much different. I don't want to get the virus but even more I don't want to spread it to somebody (somebodies) else. I figure my immunity is at a low point. But I also don't give other people grief when they aren't distancing or not wearing masks. I don't mean this note to be critical but after reading the notes here, I am seriously wondering if others here are being as strict as I am with their distancing, not gathering and wearing masks.
No I am same as you. Only go out when I absolutely have to and then with mask and gloves.
I only go out to walk the dog. Masked if more people around than usual but we have spacious streets here . And to the docs a couple of times - the least favourite thing to do right now! My husband does the shopping.
We did finally let our son have his girlfriend over for his birthday. Her family been strict like ours.
I think “careful” visits with limited people are ok although I’d be more cautious with kids because they are just not so careful with hygiene.
A balance is good. So easy to let the guard down too much.
No you are not alone. I only go to the grocery store once every two weeks with hand sanitizer and mask on. No one I know would dream of having visitors or going to anyone else's house. Not to say it isn't happening in some places but not anyone I know.
Let me say this is just my feeling. If you choose to push the limits I hope it turns out ok.
We have been self isolating for two months now. Sure it is difficult but not impossible. We are almost out of the woods with this disease. I would not want to see it start up again. The health authorities front line workers are fighting to keep us safe. I can't cheat them and their efforts by being selfish.
They need me to stay home. I am staying home! Bottom line.
For me it would be far worse to take the chance of passing on the virus to someone I love or care about.
I would not invite my grandchild to come visit as in that short little trip to the grocery store, I may have been exposed to the virus. It only takes one droplet on something to make you sick.
Plenty of ways to socialise and get fresh air without getting close to one another. We are smarter than that.
Stay well, June S.
Agree♥️
We have had all 14 of our grandkids staying with us off and on for 2 months. And continue visit all of our kids homes. Also my mother is 80 and 7 of her kids families continue to visit! Life is too short! Enjoy it!
Thank you, I agree life is too short, and if I dont do this my mental health will suffer greatly.
Do NOT give their comments another thought. Do your own calculations as to your risk. Do not listen to the journalists as they can't do math. Tell your neighbors to turn the TV off. In Florida, I almost have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting this virus.
I have actually moved from Orlando to Pensacola this last week and my son has come from NYC to help. He is keeping his distance for another week but I feel like he is fine. The only thing wrong with him is he was losing his mental health cooped up in an apartment in NYC. His roommates had left the city weeks earlier and he was working from home. He said he was having really weird thoughts being by himself all the time. This isolation can not be healthy in any form or fashion. We must all be reasonable not hysterical.
Hope you have a great time with your family.
Thank you..
No guilt!!! You are taking care of your emotional and physical health.... be proud!🎉🎉🎉🎈
Thank you, it has definitely been a huge help to my mental health.
Yeah, it's gotta be really hard to be cooped up in a NYC apartment, or in any other big city! The folks I hear from in NYC are having a much harder time with this than I am, out in the country in the middle of 10 acres woods and barns. It also helps to be an introvert.
It's about not spreading it to others. Very touchy subject. You can feel perfectly fine and yet be a carrier and be infected and could be spreading it without knowing. This is a video in Staten Island, NY in a Shop Rite where you are supposed to wear a mask. Don't come to NY without a mask and social distancing is very very important. I get angry when I am outside and see someone walking towards me without a mask. I defiantly pull my mask down as I walk past them and give them a dirty look. I wear a mask to protect others from catching it if I have it and if you are not going to have the same respect for me, then I am pulling down my mask as I walk past you. We lost over 25,00 people in NY alone. It can spread from one man in New Rochelle, NY being diagnosed without traveling to people dying at amazing speed. This is the video from the store in Staten Island.
Alabama was just listed as one of the new hot spots where the virus is spreading. I don't get it. People think it happens to others. I guess bc I live in NY I realize how serious it is and yet people in other states are whining about their civil rights being violated. And now AL is one of those hot states where the virus is rising. I just don't get it. How hard is it to understand that we have a pandemic and do what we are supposed to do.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
feeling so dependent!
college and never moved back \\"home.\\"
Good to be able to vent here! I'm going to have some...
Barb feeling dreadful
made excuses
I’ve never felt this low before and been thinking of ways to just end it all which is...
Feeling faint with ibrance
Hi to all,
Hope you're good.
I've been on anastrozole, ibrance, xgeva and zoladex since June......
Feeling low. Wind out of my sails
care about losing my hair, I just want to live. I have been asking to be retested, but he said...
Feeling lost and so sad. 
Why do I feel so rundown on ibrance? 
Feeling totally unreal
Feeling scared 
Want more energy or feel better? 
