LIVING THE DREAM; NYears resolutions in July!

[Bailey3266]

Hello all:

I thought I’d start a thread unrelated to the woes that typically bring us to this site and maybe this will be a “feel-good” thread. I think I’d like to have no regrets when my time comes so I’ve thought of a few “bucket list” things for me; but rather to put positive spin on this and not make it about Cancer/dying—make it about living every day with a plan to do something to make ourselves feel alive and grateful or try to give that feeling to another person—like the “payitforward” trends that go on at drive Thurs etc.

So I’ve titled this NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS IN JULY!

Here are a couple of mine; scared to do these and keep putting them off but I’m gonna get to them by end of this year (I’m a full-fledged empty nester in September=bittersweet & relocating and selling my home of 23 years this month!)

I may have missed my calling there as I’m 54 and a wee bit nervous and kinda clumsy so it makes me very afraid to go out of my comfort zone; but my 2 goals by the end of this year are to go horseback riding at least once in the beach where I am moving (I may just get addicted to that like you!!). Haven’t been on a horse in 40 years; but I remember how I loved the few times I tried.

I also want to try to kayak; but I’m very afraid I’m not strong enough swimmer anymore (I used to be lifeguard in college); but I’m gonna beg my DH or dtr or son to accompany me & if they don’t then I’ll go it alone and hope for the best guide ever to “baby me through my fears”...

Ooh I also love snorkeling; but have always been afraid to go scuba diving—I think that’ll be next years goal though-along with learning how to use my I watch and making a playlist (just can’t seem to accomplish that task) 🤪Get thru kayaking n horseback riding 1st!

Anyone else have bucket list things they’re scared of? I think I’ll cut n paste some of this and start a positive thread—since this one was “notsomuch”!

Feel free to just add a “funny story” an anectdote or anything else. I come on every nite to read (typically do not comment; though I’ve come out of my shell a bit in past few weeks. I’m kinda scattered so if I don’t reply to all I’ll just put little heart so u know I liked ur story, list, anectdote, etc. but I come in everynite and read about the meds and the tests and I feel good sad and nervous for everyone all at the same time. I thought we should have just a little distraction from all that.

Thanks for joining in or just reading along with me.

[MyMiracle13]

Great idea(s)! I’ve just discovered the choir Libera. Apparently they have been around for ages but I’ve just heard some of their songs recently and their voices are so angelic. They have some nice songs and listening to them makes me think I’m in heaven. If you want some peaceful moments, find them on You Tube. The songs I like are ANGEL and SANCTUS by Libera.

[Bailey3266 in reply to MyMiracle13]

I will do that; sounds like perfect playlist for my beachwalks! Glad you shared your “peace”-time with us all; it’ll probably allow many others find the same or similar feeling when you listen. Thanks for sharing!

[Wintervt]

I LOVE this thread! Your bucket list sounds AWESOME!!! I just went horseback riding in Rocky Mountain National Park with my daughters and it was amazing! I have a long bucket list and don’t want to bore you with the details, but I intend to be around for a while to make sure I cover them all!

Sending ♥️

Jade

[Stage4Gir]

I have a bucket list that I keep adding to. Years ago 1996, when I first had stage 3b, I had a mastectomy and just kept waiting to die in the 5 year timeframe I was expected to have. After about 2 years of that fear, I finally said to myself, wait a minute ....if I’m truly going to only be around for 5 years why am I wasting so much time on dying? That’s when I decided instead to spend my time living. I went on to open a business, raise two daughters, live well past the 5 year mark and do lots of things on my bucket list. 10 years later it came back in the middle of my chest. Chemo radiation etc etc then back to living. Another ten years and it came back in my other greasy. Had a lumpectomy and went back to living thinking I had another ten years. That was 2017. Dec 2018, stage 4. It really rocked me at first but I have to say I’ve now gotten back to living and I tend to keep living. So yeah make that bucket list, cross it off, add to it, and in the end whenever that may be there is one thing you won’t have. Regrets. xo

[Bailey3266 in reply to Stage4Gir]

Agreed! NO REGRETS! What a great mantra/motto. It’s great living-with or without stage 4!

Wow; too much I feared the whole 5 years after stage 1 dc 2010 and had BM w/tram-flap reconstruction. Then I booked a trip to Greece with a women’s travel group of 45 women travelers to celebrate being 5-years out and my 50th birthday! Wow what a lovely 10 day tour of the islands—amazingly beautiful!

Europe-completely off my bucket list—didn’t feel I’d ever need to return after Greece; how do you top that?

Then Nov 2017 I got Stage 4 notice; went on I/L combo had a few scans took once in lifetime trip to Hawaii with my family of 4. I then went to Lake Maggiore & lake Cuomo, Switzerland, Milan, Tuscany and Florence! Even though I said I cannot Or need not too Greece.

I’d love to go anywhere in Asia as my husband travels there for business as well as Ireland!

But my point in writing all this in reply to your comment; after 1st diagnosis I felt doomed and met thought I’d be here 0 years later; nor did I think I’d ever get stage 4; well here I am 2 years out from Stage 4 Diagnosis. Maybe I’ll try to update my list and share as I go along. For now I’m selling home and relocating and keeping stage 4 furthest from my mind as next scan is in September; so until then—I’ll seize the day=my mantra=Carpe Diem!

[Lovemylakie in reply to Stage4Gir]

I felt the same as you after stage 4 diagnosis 15 months ago. For about 10 months I was really mad and only had doom and gloom thoughts until I woke up one morning and had the same thoughts as you. Now I enjoy life I have made a couple of short trips and recently started looking for a home to buy. Attitude is everything.

Blessings to you

Robin

[Stage4Gir]

That’s supposed to say breast not greasy haha.

[Bailey3266 in reply to Stage4Gir]

There’s 3 dots at the bottom of each post in case you need to edit that; but I got it—no need to change it—stimulates us to think of what that could nean! Lil

[Stage4Gir in reply to Bailey3266]

Thanks for the three dot info and Carpe Diem!

[Julie2233]

Great post! Thanks 😊 I don’t have a bucket list but I make sure i’m living the life I want to live as far as I possibly can.

I really believe in the the benefit of seeing the positive rather than dwelling on the negative. Though sometimes it would be easier and so satisfying to wallow in negativity 😊

[nstonerocks]

I was mbc from the start 5 years ago. Once the terror subsided, I decided to face my fear of flying and go to Europe. I live in the States. I have been back every year since,

Currently in the lovely English seaside town of Hastings. Just toured thru Scotland. So beautiful. Such wonderful welcoming people. Not that my travels are over, but I think my next focus will be to plan retirement and focus on meditation, writing and relocating to a house by a beach. There is something restorative about the ocean.

[Hidden in reply to nstonerocks]

Have fun in Hastings. My oldest brother used to live in the nearby village of Robertsbridge. Battle is also a lovely little town (where the real Battle of Hastings actually took place). Have you been?

[Mindysooty]

I love this. There have been a few negative vibes on here recently so lovely to balance it out.

I dont have a bucket list as such Ive just decided to not feel guilty about putting myself first and stop doing things I dont really want to, for the sake of others. Im with you on the horsey thing its something Ive always wanted to do but never did. In the process of arranging it with my friend but delayed a little cos she's had some issues to deal with but definitely gng to do it soon.

Xx

[Hidden in reply to Mindysooty]

I agree. It's best to try and be more positive and upbeat than try to bring others down!

I have been doing the same as you and trying to put myself first more often, and say no when I don't feel up to doing something. I hope you manage to go horse riding.

Sophie

[Bailey3266 in reply to Mindysooty]

Me2; post pics and I’ll do same!

[Hidden]

Hi Bailey,

I don't make New Year's Resolutions as such, but I always have goals I like to set myself. As well as trying to take better care of myself and enjoying myself, I am also working on improving my personality, becoming more patient, kind, understanding and trying to help others where I can (but without compromising my own health). I am also more mindful of my blessings, am grateful for my strong marriage and so all in all I have found that I have become much happier since my diagnosis.

Sophie

[nstonerocks in reply to Hidden]

Yes. We have friends who live outside of Battle and I had a lovely slice of Victoria layer cake there. This is a beautiful part of England.

[Hidden in reply to nstonerocks]

That's a beautiful part of the country. Victoria sponge cake is divine! I could do with a piece right about now. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

[nstonerocks in reply to Hidden]

Yes. I’d like to see more of the Southern Coast. Another guest at the B&B recommended Rye. Looks straight out of a picture book

[Hidden in reply to nstonerocks]

Hopefully you have enough time left to explore Rye. How do you like today's weather? I have finished work for the day, so am relieved to finally be under cover. I started early. Temperatures are set to soar to the mid 30s later this week!

[nstonerocks in reply to Hidden]

The weather is lovely warm with a nice breeze. I got sunburned lying on the beach. Had that Victoria sponge. All is right with the world

[Hidden in reply to nstonerocks]

I'm glad you have had a good day. There was a breeze here too, which helped cool things off a bit.

[Bailey3266 in reply to nstonerocks]

Where is RYE!

[nstonerocks in reply to Bailey3266]

From what told about 15 min drive from Hastings. Supposed to be a centuries old very quaint beachside town

[Lilykristymichael]

I applaud your journey of positivity. I don’t have a bucket list but am trying to keep

My

Life as normal as possible. Doing things for mother people helps me feel good. And I don’t know what I would do without God. He is my strength. Moving to the beach would be a dream come true for me.

[Bailey3266 in reply to Lilykristymichael]

Yes; it’s surreal; the repetitiveness of the ocean waves ; with different crashing sounds through day & evening is amazingly relaxing. Add other sounds and sights of nature and “people-watching”; walkers fisherman paddleboarders surfers boogieboarders simply kids n my Pug himself playing in sand! Helicopters and boats passing by along with sharks whales dolphins and my new live is birdwatching—bought binoculars for ~$50 on-line (which I never ever do; but I love them)! Lastly simply sunsets and occasional sunrise hike with my son!😍🐶life is good! Carpet diem. Prayers and loving thoughts to all on this site and beyond!

[Bailey3266 in reply to Lilykristymichael]

Oh & agreed helping others helps ourselves in many more ways!

[Survivornow]

I have been kayaking for years, love it and I'm not a strong swimmer, nearly drowned at 16 caught in a RIP current swimming at a beach with family. So I wear a life jacket, learned how to exit the kayak when flipped and love the ease of paddling. So much fun!

My bucket list has slowly been done over the last 25 years. I do want to see the Grand Canyon, a desert, visit a friend in Washington State, go back to Alaska and most importantly, see our 4 grandchildren grown and settled! That should take another 20 years!

Go for your dreams!

[laurac1014]

I live near the icw & beach and need to get out there more like I used to. I've always tried to keep my Wants small so I'm not disappointed. I would like to do several overnite trips and go for a balloon ride (with the wizard and go on a nice leisurely horseback trail ride. I mainly want to enjoy everyday and take up baking bread again.

[Bailey3266 in reply to laurac1014]

Where is the ice; sounds pretty. I recommend hot air balloon; that was ticked off my bucket list after stage 1 in 2010; actually I had always wanted to go skydiving; but developed “fear of heights and flying (I have to take Ativan and Ambien to fly as I don’t drink!). Anyhoo; thx for sharing—hope you do see the wizard too-fun fun fun!

[laurac1014 in reply to Bailey3266]

Oh, no ice, Intra Coastal Waterway, ICW. I had a close encounter with a small shark in 3' of water at Topsail Beach ! I just bought some of those chairs to sit at the oceans edge

[Red71]

I’ve been at the beach for a couple of days visiting with my son and daughter-in-law, grandsons, and all the in-laws that came with my beautiful daughter-in-law! She came with a huge loving family. They go camping every year on the Oregon coast and one of my goals is to go spend at least a couple of days there with them every year. Asa Family they have been going to the same park for 70 years. My husband and I are doing a Viking river tour this fall and I hope that we can continue traveling...England, Ireland, and Scotland are on our list. This February I went to Mexico on a short cruise with nursing school friends for our 50th reunion. That was my first trip after diagnosis and it went well. So I guess traveling is my biggest bucket list item! I also want to learn to kayak! Showing my grandkids that bad things can happen to you but you can still live life is my biggest bucket list goal! Elaine