OCTOBER PINK

So October is coming soon and PINK will be everywhere. I personally have a thing against the PINK. I dont see what all the hoopla is about. My cancer was huge in left breast not picked up by mammogram. I had to have to ultrasound and biopsy to confirm. So mammo's dont pick up everything. I wonder if anyone else feels the same? It needs more than one month, and it needs a cure not a jump from drug to drug. Just my thoughts.

[nstonerocks]

The pink thing strikes a nerve with me. Even tho my logo is a pink flower, that’s an ironic coincidence that I didn’t pay attention to I swear. I’ll have to change that! I understand and even applaud people who advocate for breast cancer awareness and research, but I cannot bring myself to wear the ribbon or do the dance. Perhaps if I didn’t have metastatic disease I’d feel differently. I do think more money should go for research and there is a slogan, “more for 4” that I endorse heartily. We are the ones who need the cure. Unfortunately there is no way to bypass trying what works and changing what doesn’t until there is a bona fide cure. I hide in October. For me October isn’t empowering, it reminds me constantly that I have an incurable disease, and I know that all too well. I can’t even watch tv without hearing about “Julie’s new normal.” I just wanna watch tv cause the cancer follows me everywhere and it takes more than I have some days to put it on the shelf and live a normal life. I hear your frustration. A few more days until October and pink and trying like hell to not be overcome by it. 😑 ugh.

[Clair19 in reply to nstonerocks]

I totally get it! It seems like we are left behind waving in the backseat. Every time I have to explain it, no I will always be on medicine, no my hair will not be thick and sexy again. I don’t blame them when I explain, it’s our society thinks okay five years your cured let’s party. Unfortunately it mostly does come back and that is where even the Breast Cancer society I don’t think gets it. Yes you want to shake them and say wake up, your leaving me behind here. At least they are getting a little kick in the ass with more people complaining. Let’s all stay together in what ever way. If kids can do it, I think we can be strong as we can. I Love all of you ladies for going through this as well as you have.

[nstonerocks in reply to Clair19]

Yes I think I do feel left behind. There’s a lot of rah rah and celebration for the 80% who beat it but not a lot of focus or sensitivity to those of us who spend the rest of our lives trying to live a quality life as long as we can.

[mariootsi in reply to nstonerocks]

I feel the same. Don't like October and Ibrance commercials. Constant reminder of our situation in which I have to work even harder to forget everyday! They call it the new normal! Nothing normal about it. It's a new struggle!

[Gmaoftriplets in reply to mariootsi]

I agree I especially don't like the Ibranace commercials..

[Crazydentist in reply to Gmaoftriplets]

There aren’t any Ibrance adverts in uk thank goodness

Barb xx

[Clair19 in reply to Crazydentist]

Ha ha lucky you Barb,they don’t even use real mbc people. They use actors, I can noticed there hair, silly me hair again. I said skin to beautiful and hair to long and cooking like not a care.

[Hidden in reply to nstonerocks]

I noticed you changed logo LOL

[nstonerocks in reply to Hidden]

Yes now you can see the goddess behind the posts!!!!

[Kimr2081 in reply to nstonerocks]

Amen to your reply. I couldn't have said it better. While fall is my favorite season and its my wedding anniversary month, I just cringe when October rolls around.

[Clair19]

I love watching big burly football 🏈 players with pink gloves, shoes and mouth pieces. I guess till I was diagnosed 17 years later last summer I have gained hope. When my Mom died in 1990 there was really nothing but chemo. So I saw her not even having a choice like we do. Yes it’s a pain in the butt however she didn’t even have bone strengthening drugs. So she had a hard time. At least we have a choice for now, not a cure but it’s coming. I have to look at it like that, or I would give up.

[jtgmom in reply to Clair19]

Well said🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

[Epinto in reply to Clair19]

I agree, well said! Everyone in this life fights some battle!

[Snowcone16]

Well, I love pink. I have pink ribbons everywhere...car magnet, license plates, pens, pins, T-shirt’s. Pink is my favorite color actually. I get that some don’t like it. I understand. Usually, it leads to a conversation “did you have breast cancer?” “Yes, I’m stage 4”. It just opens the door to conversations, share my experience, maybe give someone hope. 🌸

[Clair19 in reply to Snowcone16]

I’m sorta a pink fan, I have pink windshield wipers. My friend who owns a dealership gives them for breast cancer and mbc. I mean everyone is different. I understand totally if you don’t like the pink thing, that’s cool, how you deal with your cancer can always be different. Hey if streaking was still in I might do it for mbc, I did it in the day.😊😮😋 I hope this doesn’t get me in trouble.

[blms in reply to Clair19]

You are tooo funny! You don’t want to know what I did back inthe day!!

[RLN-overcomer in reply to Snowcone16]

Good evening: Sister/warrior, I too love the color pink, red, and orange. I thank God, and I am so grateful to still be here on this planet we call earth, with my loved ones, where I choose to wear pink, yes mostly during October, but also through out the year. My loved ones buy me pink key rings, pink jewelry, and any pink item they think I might like, and I humbly thank them for everything they give me. I wear my pink proudly and, with immense gratitude. When I tell people my testimony, it helps them understand, and even affords them opportunity to find ways to contribute to a cure for this disease. Besides I am a fashionista girly girl, and I will be wearing my pink wig, and pink tutu with a grateful smile on my face Amen. If I can find pink lashes, I will be wearing those too. I always remind myself that there is someone going through something worse than me, including very young children. What ever challenges we face, things can always be worse. My cup is not half empty, or half full. My cup is full full overflowing abundantly with Gods blessings. Amen. XoXoXoXo

[Crazydentist]

Hi

I’m not a fan of the pink October thing..I find it annoying...for some people it’s just a way of getting attention..hey look at me in my pink eyelashes!!!

Why not just set up a monthly direct debit to a breast cancer charity..

Maybe I’m missing the point and being ungrateful

Barb xx

[Hidden in reply to Crazydentist]

Hi Barb,

I know what you mean! I am sure some people who take part are sincere, but there are also attention seekers out there just doing it so they can get a pat on the back. It's like people who litter pick in their community to beautify the area and then post it all over social media expecting accolades from people (I see it all the time). Why mention when you have done a good deed? Why not do it with the right motive to begin with and keep what you have done to yourself?

Sophie 💘

P.S. I love pink, but it's because I'm a girlie girl, not because of breast cancer.

[blms in reply to Crazydentist]

Wow pink eyelashes! That sounds awful!

[Barbteeth in reply to blms]

They’re hideous

Barb xx

[KaerligMor]

I can't stand Pinktober where any Tom, Dick or Mary can slap a pink ribbon on just about anything, sell it, and pat themselves on the back for doing their part. Breast Cancer Awareness? I think we are all sufficiently aware, tyvm. Metastatic Breast Cancer is another thing entirely. We get one calendar day, October 13, for MBC. But when you or a loved one have this crummy disease, every month is MBC Awareness month. I've had MBC for five years and Metavivor is my favorite charitable organization because I know that unlike other better known breast cancer organizations, Metavivor gives 100% of funds raised towards funding better treatments and eventually a cure for MBC. Yea, I have MBC. It's mostly in my bones which while extremely painful, I'm grateful for. Hugglies and loves! Blessings!!

[nstonerocks in reply to KaerligMor]

Well said 🙏

[Clair19 in reply to nstonerocks]

I’m glad we can all agree not to agree and not get mad or upset. Just wish most people could do that. Nice seeing your smiling face. On my way to get Faslodex and new bone strengthening medicine, crap did I mention I hate this damn disease. 😶

[nstonerocks in reply to Clair19]

This disease is like a whole life time of experience and lessons learned wrapped up in one nasty wallop. Agree to disagree. Pink or not. When you ladies go for it, you are entitled to it. You have earned the pink. I read last nite that so many companies make money on the ribbons and accessories and less that 10% contribute anything to advocacy or cure. That is disgusting. I like the color pink. Unlike Snowcone, though, I am not up to putting myself out there. In the midst of the cured pink warriors I feel like their worst nightmare. A reflection of my deep seated issues. I don’t know if I can ever leave the safety net of this board. Faslodex for me on Monday. The last of the 3 double shots to the butt every other week. YEY!

[morty87]

Finally others that don't relish in "Pinktober". I was diagnosed with MBC in October 2017 (another stab) after first being diagnosed in August 2006. I told everyone then that it would come back, I just didn't know when or where. I seem to be doing well with the plan in place, and I have more good days than bad, but needless to say most days are an emotional struggle. I put on that happy face because that is what is expected. Many people still do not know that I have an incurable disease!!!

In 2007 after finishing 8 rounds of chemo, 3 surgeries and 33 rounds of radiation, I marched my happy self to the counter of the local Susan G Komen office. I did not want to participate in the upcoming walk but I wanted to make a donation. A long story short, the lady at the counter refused my check. She didn't know if it was a $10 or $1000 check, but she refused it. She allowed me to walk out the office in tears without accepting my check! What was wrong with her? Her response was that she didn't know what to do with it! My dad's business was next door so I ran in tears to explain the story. Susan G Komen sent me a $50 gift card for dinner (after my dad gave them an earful!), not a simple apology, but a gift card because I was upset. I don't support many bc organizations on the national level, but I cannot say enough positive things about Cancer Services!

I realize I have an ax to grind with my own diagnosis and coming to terms with "the new normal". I simply don't think a month designated as Breast Cancer Awareness month is enough. BC patients deal with the trials and tribulations on a daily basis - not just the month of October.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. I have found worthy support on this forum. I wish you all the best - hang in there! Together we can beat this terrible disease!!!

[Wildcat1]

Not a fan... never liked pink even though I have 2 girls. I feel I live with this everyday I don’t need a month of reminders of it. Now we have the lovely commercials.

And why doesn’t other cancers get a month... over it and it’s only September.

[Hidden]

Fraid I have to join in the no pink bit. I just wish people would realise that this is for life, not just the month of October. Our only advantage is that mammograms are discounted in October so if one has to pay to get checked it is a bit easier on ths pocket but my medical scheme does pay for that anyway so...

[diamags]

When I found out that roughly 92% of the money raised for breast cancer goes to "awareness" I became very, very angry. That means just what it says -- awareness. The pink on the football field, the walks, the runs, the parties, etc. I do understand fully that when they started this pink thing they did so because there was stigma towards the disease and therefore it was pushed to the back. They also weren't finding many promising treatments, so they decided that early detection was the best way to spend their money. And that has saved many lives. But that time is over. Awareness, I'm sure would be counted as 100%, so they've done their jobs. Not to mention that putting people in front of news cameras saying they've been cured is much happier than putting somebody up there saying they're terrified of trying the next drug or even their demise. The problem (in my humble opinion) is that "awareness" is insuring many, many jobs -- in fact, you might argue -- an industry; and they don't want to give that golden ticket up. I think it's time to switch that money making machine to fund a cure, not "awareness." When I donate money, I do so to my research hospital and tag it for research into metastatic breast cancer.

[oilermama]

I agree about the "what about us?" I look fine, but have MBC in my bones. It's hard for people to understand that MBC at this point is not curable and that I will not be one of the people 15 years down the road saying, "Oh, yes, I am a survivor." I just want to see my freshman in high school graduate in four years.

[BlueEyedC]

I have mixed feelings about the pink. I think the people raising awareness, displaying pink,. etc. -- their heart is in the right place. But I do think we need to increase "awareness" of OUR cancer: MBC. Which is a totally different animal! The pink thing trivializes it a bit, I think. And I feel bad for those whose doctor told them their BC was cured. My doctor (over 20 years ago, when I had stage 1) told me that even though mine was found very early, and I had an excellent chance of recovery, you can never use the word "cured" with BC. At least he didn't mislead me. Twenty years later, when I was diagnosed with MBC, I remembered what he said.

Someone mentioned Metavivor. I had never heard of it, but I'm going to look it up. Thanks.

[Crazydentist in reply to BlueEyedC]

Hi

My oncologist told me 24 years ago that if I made it to 15 years I would be cured..wrong!!

Barb xx

[nstonerocks in reply to Crazydentist]

Sometimes I think it is easier to be mbc from the start like I was. Maybe easier is a poor choice of word. But I didn’t have to deal with being told it came back and spread. It must be devastating after relaxing into thinking whew, I dodged that one. It’s awful enough. Last night it was getting to me so I popped a Xanax. Just finished my work day and going to watch Dr Phil solve somebody else’s problems. And so it goes.

[Clair19 in reply to Crazydentist]

Yeah me 17 years, but I knew in the back of my head.

[PJBinMI]

I'm old enough to remember when nobody talked about breast cancer! Does anybody else remember the movie "Valley of the Dolls?" The character played by Sharon Tate committed suicide after being diagnosed with breast cancer and that did not seem as outrageous as it would today! I remember when women like Happy Rockefeller and Betty Ford spoke publicly about having bc and that was a huge change. So I am glad that bc is "out of the closet" but sure do wish that better information was more widely shared--information about mbc and that all bc is not the same and does not respond to the same treatment and that we should all see an onc before surgery. I don't care for the pink and the rah-rah but in the big picture it is better than silence!

Oct 13 is Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. If you can write a decent sentence, write a short letter to the editor of your local newspapers about MBC and ask that it be published on 10/13. You don't have to have been an English major to write a letter--just write a few sentences containing info that you most want the general public to know about MBC. It's also a good time to call the office of your US Representative and ask them to support the bc research funding in the department of defense. Since sometime in the 1990's, the DOD budget has included medical research grant funding and some astute bc advocate lobbied for assigning some of that to bc research. It has gotten about $120 million a year in the last decade or so! That is lot of research money! And patient advocates, like me, are involved in the grant approval process, so it does get channeled to research that will help improve our lives! But Congress has to approve that line item in the budget every year!

[blms]

Yes I have to say that I have lived with breast cancer since 1950, when I was born ( not that I remember that,) and my grandmother had BC skready for 5 years and died in 1955( which I do remember her last days. Then in 1965 my mother was diagnosed and died in 1976 after having a multilating radical mactectomy in 65. My aunt , and ideal died of BC in 1974 from complications of chemo. I was diagnosed in 1998 at 48 with a bilateral tram, 6 months if IV chemo, radiation etc. So, I personally am thankful for new drugs on the horizon as well as our currrent options. And if it were not for all this hoopla of pink and awareness to our disease we would not have these options I embrace it, not necessarily affirming myself with pink but happy to talk to anyone about the disease st any time. And personally, o have found over the years when I have struggled to cope that the more I say that I have cancer then the less important or frightening it seems to me. So it’s not always about sympathy, which I do not need, but about a more selfish attempt in dealing with this difficult disease . And my children deserve an even better future. Now that I said this, I’ll search for some pink in my closet and drawers! I gave learned so much about myself from this disease

[MMMP]

No Pink for me!!! It's was my favorite color as a little girl and even had pink bridesmaid dresses- I still wear it but not for breast cancer!! Looking forward to Halloween when the month is over!!