Telling young kids the news

[meadowseed]

Hi again all. Newly diagnosed and surgery is Thursday (lumpectomy). I told my sensitive, anxious 7 year old niece the news today and she really panicked. I told her in a way that a social worker suggested (evidence based). I wonder if anyone else has young ones in their life. Granted we're in COVID times, but my niece was afraid she would "catch" the cancer from me and she's just really freaked out that she is going to get it. My heart breaks. In other news, I'm beginning to freak out after watching the hospital's Youtube video about the Operating Room!

[Dimsdale18 Partner]

I had young children at the time and didn't tell them because I wanted to have the lumpectomy finished so I'd know what stage I was and if the cancer has spread to lymph nodes etc. My oldest son who was a teenager at the time figured out something was up after I was going for my radiation treatments so we told him and my younger son a few months later. didn't tell my 8 yr old daughter until a few years later because I knew it would have been too much for her to handle at the time. But only You know your family and whether they are ready to hear the news. Good luck on Thursday. If you need a support group, general information or any questions answered, please call the SHARE breast cancer helpline

844-ASK-SHARE (844-275-7427) Everyday from 9:30 am until 9:00 pm EST or check out our website:

sharecancersupport.org

[meadowseed in reply to Dimsdale18]

I really debated but decided to tell her when the social worker explained the benefit of doing so. I can now see why people don’t! Her parents felt strongly that we didn’t lie though.

[Redalert123]

I imagine this must be a different experience based on both yourself and the child.

I told my six yeAr old girl when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I used the word, and st 6 she didn’t really have a preconceived idea of what it meant.

She wanted to know if it was her fault, and if I was going to die.

Not the easiest conversation I have had, but managed to hold it together and be bright and breezy.

I said the doctors and nurses have great plans for how to make me better. That it was nobody’s fault.

She moved on quite quickly.

She worries sometimes, but not too much. I showed her my dressing and eventually my scar, she understands to be careful with mummy but doesn’t always remember or offer much sympathy. And she knows I am having chemo now and I feel bad sometimes. But it will not be for too long.

Kids get used to all sorts of things. And by being honest I don’t have to whisper around her- she knows what is happening.

All the best to you both xxx

[meadowseed in reply to Redalert123]

Good points. My niece calmed down the next day and said that she’s not going to catch it from me, and said that when she’s 40 and starts to get mammograms, “I’ll be grown up and I will know how to handle being scared then.” Her mom talked some sense into her. But it was rough there for a minute - she said she wanted to die before she got boobs. Eek!

[lucydina42]

Hi,

Replying to your nervousness about the surgery. I'm 66. Had a lumpectomy one year ago. It was MUCH easier than I expected. Maybe because I was Stage 1A and my tumor was just under two cms? They removed the sentinel lymph node as well. Very little pain, it all healed quickly and have had no range of motion problems at all. It's a pretty quick surgery. I'm nervous about general anesthesia so I opted for local anesthesia. Much less effect on one's total body. So glad I did. Felt good but tired after the surgery but was fine to have lunch right after with my two friends who accompanied me. Stay positive on Thursday. The positive energy can greatly affect your experience. Write again and let us know how it went. Best to you-

Arlene

[meadowseed in reply to lucydina42]

Thanks Arlene! Wow, you went out to lunch right after? I’m usually pretty positive on the day of... it’s just organizing everything around a scary new thing!

Thanks for the reassurance and pep talk!

[Redalert123]

And re surgery, I had a lumpectomy and 4 lymph nodes out. Day case, I was the last one on the list but still got home the same day.

I had general anaesthetic, but as soon as I could eat something, drink and wee they were fine fir me to go home. I also recovered without much drama, although I was very sleepy and needed an afternoon nap for a good 2 weeks after!

General anaesthetic can cause constipation, so get some fybogel sachets in.. and don’t forget to ask for a sick note if you need it.

Good luck, you will be fine! X

[meadowseed]

Thanks so much!!