Male modesty : Does anyone out there... - Sensitive Issues ...

Sensitive Issues for Men

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Male modesty

Lumpy1968 profile image
19 Replies

Does anyone out there feel that men are treated differently than women in a medical setting? I have very intense feelings about being exposed or touched intimately by a woman in a non sexual manner and due to my belief this should only be within the bounds of marriage. The medical world seams to have taken the stance that it is perfectly natural for a woman to touch a man’s genitals in a medical setting and although must men don’t say anything they usually feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. This is a completely unnatural thing in the world around us but is expected to be excepted in the medical world. This is due to the fact that the vast majority of medical workers are female. And the medical institutions have convinced these women that it is perfectly normal and moral to do this in their line of work. Fact is when they first start touching men intimately they are flooded by all kinds of feelings of embarrassment shame and guilt that goes away with time once they become used to it. This should be proof enough that they are fighting their God given conscience. I don’t think that any woman should do this to herself and become numb to the site and touch of a man’s penis. They usually can tell when a man is embarrassed but never offer a man an alternative like they do women. This is wrong in my opinion and has done me great psychological harm in past experiences

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Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968
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19 Replies
xsevenx profile image
xsevenx

I’m sorry to disagree. We are similar ages. But I have no problem being examined by a suitably trained health care professional no matter what sex they identify as. I am truly sorry you were traumatised earlier in life. That is indeed horrible.

Modestmale profile image
Modestmale

Yes. Because the vast majority of medical workers are female, the system has developed double standards and mistreats male patients in ways they would never mistreat female patients. Females often don’t understand this because they don’t personally experience it but it explains why many males avoid elective and preventive medical care.

They have facilities that provide only female providers for female patients but even urology practices are dominated by female nurses, assistants and technicians.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Modestmale

Your correct about all female health clinics. I live in the Washington DC area and I have found 5 comprehensive womens medical centers (there may be more) and not 1 for men????

Modestmale profile image
Modestmale in reply to Lumpy1968

There are so called "Men's Clinics" but they are staffed almost entirely by females.Some females seem to enjoy controlling and abusing male patients. Hopefully, not the majority but it only takes one adverse experience to turn away from healthcare.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Modestmale

I have found in my experiences that the medical community operates under a vale of secrecy. They claim to be gender neutral but there are news articles out there that say other wise in regards to how men are respected in a medical setting. To start with before you are wheeled into the OR they give you versed which they tell you it is to help you relax. That is the start of the deception because on the street it is known as the date rape drug. It makes you completely compliant and strips you of all memory this allows them to have a women to strip you naked and clean you genitals to put a catheter in you without your knowledge because they know that many men would have a problem with this that is whyit is hidden from you. Their way of avoiding any accusations of sexual assault is to have you sign a consent form with wording like and anything else needed to perform the surgery which is so open ended that you give them permission to do anything they want without your knowledge. Doing that to anyone without express permission is wrong. I have been researching all of this after I had open heart surgery and the more I read the more appalled I become

Vitruviusman profile image
Vitruviusman in reply to Modestmale

you're 100% correct. my experience with the medical professionals equate yours when it comes to protecting male modesty

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Vitruviusman

What is sad for me is that I have pending medical issues that I won’t get addressed because they won’t accommodate my need for male nurses for anything intimate

Vitruviusman profile image
Vitruviusman in reply to Lumpy1968

that's not true. patience rights specifically State you should have the person treat you that you feel comfortable with. that's written in the patient Bill of Rights. don't let the se treaters tell you differently

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Vitruviusman

Let me tell you a little story to let everyone know how they operate! After my horrible and humiliating experience with my open heart surgery I refused to allow a woman to degrade me in that way again! After some months went by I was told that I now needed a pacemaker. By now I had the full knowledge that when you go into the OR every patient is stripped naked no matter what your in there for. This they say it is for sterile reasons because the gown they gave you to preserve your modesty isn’t sterile. Knowing this I contacted the hospital and spoke to a nurse and requested that I be allowed to wear my underwear she said that is not possible because my underwear is not sterile. I said fine than give me surgical underwear which do exist and she said no because they are not sterile either? I told her that I am having a pacemaker put in up at my collar bone why is there such concern about my genital region. Eventually after badgering her she finally told me that my genitals would be cleaned just In case they might need to access my femoral artery the chances of this are slim to none but they do it anyway. Just for the record they never tell the patient this is going to happen and I would have never known if I hadn’t pushed the underwear issue! At this point I told her if this is the case I wanted an all male team and she said that wasn’t her call and I would have to speak to patient relations. I contacted them weeks before the procedure and made them aware of my request. I was told they would make the arrangements.On the day of the procedure I was given A male pre op nurse which I took for a good sign although it wasn’t necessary because nothing intimate was done to me in pre op. In post op I went through 3 shifts of nurses all male again not necessary because nothing intimate was done but now we get to the good part. My request was no females in the OR because this is where I knew I would be stripped naked! This Is where there was an over site on their part. Who ever was doing the scheduling over looked that I had put in my allergies that I was not to be given Versed which strips your memory. When I was wheeled into the OR I was fully awake and the OR team knew they had a problem because they were aware of the no female request. And I wasn’t under the effects of their date rape drug. There was a woman standing right at my side but never said a word and just stood there like a statue while a male nurse was busy doing prep work. They had folded my gown into a neat little square that covered my genitals and waited until they injected me with drugs that knocked me out. That is when that woman kicked into action and started cleaning my genitals. At this point without my knowledge. I might have been born at night but it wasn’t last night! I knew what she was going to be doing.Everything in me said to stop the procedure but having come this far I let it happen. What all this proves is when the opportunity presents itself they will break their word if they think they can get away with it . So no matter what they tell you they can’t be trusted. It’s the only place on planet earth that you can be violated like this and get away with it.and their patient rights is meaningless to them. In most cases their method of operation is to ambush the patient

Modestmale profile image
Modestmale in reply to Lumpy1968

I’m sorry they did this to you. Dishonesty is unethical and they violated your explicit consent which is intentional battery. Unfortunately it happens in medical settings all the time.

jeffboy_aust profile image
jeffboy_aust

I totally agree with you! There is a related post under "Same gender intimate care for men, and much of it supports our stance on this issue. Personally, I have experience 2 occasions of totally unprofessional conduct by female nurses. In the first instance, i was directly told that "You have a weird dick". I asked "How would you know?"- reply: "I put the catheter in you" The second occurred after I had a growth removed from a testicle. 2 female nurses came in for something- I can't remember what- and as they left the room, one said to the other, "You know he's only got one nut". Not true. But I heard that. ON the first occasion, they came in not remove a catheter, but by then I had lost all respect for the particular staff nurse. I refused to allow it to happen, and told them to send in a male nurse, or I'd rip it out myself. (Not a smart thing to do) but amazing a few minutes later a male nurse arrived, and professionally did what needed to be done. He said I was not the first patient to insist on male nursing staff, and did not blame me for making the request.

I have and still do refuse to have an urodynamics exam because it would be totally done by females.

jloptout profile image
jloptout

So true- if males did the same thing to female patients they'd get fired on the spot

Vitruviusman profile image
Vitruviusman

oh I agree. men are supposed to not worry about modesty at all. but God forbid if a woman even shows a little skin around her breast, all hella break loose. I had women barge into the my examination room without even knocking

writer75 profile image
writer75 in reply to Vitruviusman

Did you tell her to get the fuck out in loud and no uncertain terms and reguse to continue if the physican or a male nurse came in instead?

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to writer75

You are correct about what women have put up with out of what is now known as modern medicine. Starting in the 1800’s men commandeered the medical field and men made medical school and practicing medicine off limits to women which was just plain wrong! It is another example of man’s inhumanity to mankind. Mens modesty was fairly well protected until the 1970’s and a transition started to occur which was basically driven by greed. Most intimate care for men was either done by male physicians or male orderlies ( ie catheters) but as managed care started kicking in and doctors no longer could afford to spend the additional time it would take to do this the other alternative that was available were male orderlies that were trained to perform these intimate procedures on men but the hospitals decided that it was to costly to continue this position so they started to faze them out and forced the nurses to take over their duties which we all know are 95 % female and here we are. So what the medical industry did was try to normalize women touching mens penises that their not married to as excepted in the name of medicine but personally find it to be immoral and not fair to the male patient or the female nurse that is forced to do this

writer75 profile image
writer75

Hear what you are saying, but please be aware, medical treatment and its purveyors have offered us NOTHING. Once, care to women was dominsted by men ane women had no choice and did not like it. We fought, protested and became very adamant that we must havr better choices, no matter what doctors and doctor-trained nurses wanted. Our demands were met, not freely given. Men have to speak up and demand fair and respectful treatment as well, not silently go along. You sound as if medical system gave women something and now you assume tgey will voluntarily give you the same ad well. Not going to happen. Start walking out, loudly complaining, getting together in groups and fighting, ordering women you do not want touching you or observing out of the room and make a stink about it where the whole waiting room can hear. If four or five of you showed up in one day and let the place out, things would change fast.

modestguy profile image
modestguy

One's religious or ethical feelings are very personal, and you are certainly entitled to yours. I don't happen to agree that it is "wrong" by definition for a medical provider of one sex to see or touch the genitals of a patient of the the opposite sex, but that is simply my own feeling.

That said, I do strongly believe that one should ALWAYS be asked for consent to any "intimate" exposure or examination, and also consent to the presence of any so-called "chaperone" or legal witness. Such consent should be invited BEFORE the procedure begins, or that additional person is allowed into the examination room. If the exam or procedure begins without such consent, and you are uncomfortable, you have every moral and legal right to halt the proceedings and demand what you want to make you comfortable.

I would urge you to speak up in any examination situation - explain in advance what you don't want, and be ready to refuse anything that violates your own comfort level.

Best of luck to you in future medical experiences.

Petit4incher profile image
Petit4incher

had to go a few years back get a colonoscopy and cystoscope done. I was as nervous as hell when I turned up at hospital and as most guys know when ur nervous the penis retracts but the 2 nurses who were there befo re doctor tuned up were professional in every way and made me feel relaxed. Had both done while they were in room and made me feel. At ease after they were done. I’m sure they have seen all shapes n sizes doing there job

xsevenx profile image
xsevenx in reply to Petit4incher

When I had a cystoscopy a few years back, once the ‘scope was removed, my fully erect penis was quickly covered up and nothing was said. All very professional.

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