My mind says "go!!" My body says "ur effin kidding right??"

Feeling like u hv an 80yr old body wen ur 36.....sucks ballz....i am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder  along with a load of other things and am generally quite up but there are times wen im manic...usually i clean...scrub...sort...organise...hv grandiose ideas (eg: i was swimming laps at the local pools and I saw the lifeguard walk around the edge of the pool...i was convinced he was trying to catch up with me to ask me to join the swim team because i was so good) which doesnt sound that out there until i tell u im overweight and outta shape...lol...swim team...ha!! I hv used a torch and a knife to go out the front at three in morn because i needed to get all the moss out from between the bricks in the driveway...taken apart appliances to clean... really clean... moved my sons room around...at midnight pushing furniture around including the bed while he slept...and of course walls and skirtings need cleaning...vacumming...sorting his toys..clothes..etc....but.....

I am manic tonight/this morn....i wanna go go go however my body wants to rest or take twice as long to get about...i hv been living off four hours sleep for five months straight....by the time its sun up i feel like a vampire cringing at the light...crawly skin...scattered...all i can do is stare off into space feeling guilty over all the things i should be doing but hvnt...y cant i get motivated?...is my body jus not capable anymore?how am i meant to keep going on such lil sleep...btw hv a 14 yr old...4 yr old and 5 month old...yep manic since his birth....iv totally lost my train of thought... im a hot mess...oh yeah i kno my rls is worse because I am sleep deprived..... 

6 Replies

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  • I am sorry you are having so much trouble. Are you taking medications? Some pills will make you RLS worse. It sounds like you need professional medical help which none of us are qualified to do. I urge you to see your doctor and also ask him to check your meds to see if this is aggravating the RLS

    I wish you well and hope you get the help you need.

  • I hv been struggling now for three years...i hv a gp who knows me well....seen me hv many a pain eps...changed my meds many times...got a specialist who has gone above and beyond...my problem is made more complex because of my mental health issues ( no choice but to take certain meds) and also by the fact that im a recovering addict so cannot be treated with anything slightly addictive...currently i am on neupro patch... deralin...carbaser...lyrica plus for my mental health im on olanzapine and mirtazapine...thanku for ur response...i have had over twenty four hours pain free which for me is huge.....

  • Glad you are having a good day and hope you have a good sleep tonight 

  • Its 2 am here....not much sleep maybe five hours but yes pain free...atm...so i dont care...especially because the real housewives of new jersy is on...lol

  • I see you have a young baby has your doctor checked you for postpartum problems?i -feel for you the lack of sleep and everything else is very debilitating . Message to going through hell.

  • Yeah apparently I have post pardom mania...that exacerbates my rls...round and round n round we go....I WANT OFF THE MERRY GO ROUND...I DONT WANNA PLAY ANYMORE!!!

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