Where am I?

[Nursetrauma]

I was blindsided after a 25 year marriage that my husband wanted divorce. Two grown adult children. I began drinking on weekends I wasn't on call just to sleep. I had never lived by myself before. After 6 months found out about the affair. 2 months after that a patient in my psychiatric unit was found with a loaded gun. I was paralyzed with fear and no one to turn to, still grieving loss of family. Nightmares, cold sweats, panic attacks ensued shortly after. DUI that same year 2023. I just wanted to rest and it was the only thing that helped. Gave up drinking completely. Continue to wake up in fear every morning. Going through divorce now. Not coping very well with all this and worried DUI may affect my career.

[RedJadeJaguar]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I was married for 16 years and went through a similar feeling. 11 months later, and I find it more enjoyable being by myself and doing things for myself. Maybe try one thing a day that makes you feel good. Maybe your favorite TV show or movie that reminds you of a time when you felt safe. So my go-to is I Love Lucy, the honeymooners, Tom and Jerry. I also like to draw a bath with special salts or soaps that I treat myself too. And I like a couple of candles. Trying different and decaf coffees before bedtime helps also. And relaxing music. I hope this helps and please know that you are not alone. Betrayal is about the other person not you. But I understand the feeling of abandonment and feeling like the butt of the joke. You’ll be in my. That is the main thing I should’ve said first. One minute a day of asking God to help you will change things. 100% guaranteed.

[Nursetrauma in reply to RedJadeJaguar]

Thank you for responding. Just knowing that you've been there and have now found greener pastures is hopeful. I feel blessed that you responded.

[RedJadeJaguar in reply to Nursetrauma]

thank you for replying, …xoxo I had a major setback last night, but I am keeping the faith and staying positive - your response this is a good reminder to keep it up. Praying for your continued healing and for peace 🤍🙏