What a night we had !!!! Frank hasn't been walking well the last few days & seems to want to sleep more so when he asked to lie on the settee last night I transferred him. Unfortunately even though I lie him on his side he started to choke so with great difficulty I sat him up & sorted him out. This happened a couple of times so decided to transfer him back to his recliner chair. That's when the problems started. He went rigid & fought me the whole way. I couldn't move him so after 30mins or so rang for my son. As he was out,he came on his way home & also struggled but between us we got him into bed as it was 9.45 by then. He said he was frightened to go to sleep in case he choked so I had to sit with him, talking & stroking his head & closing his eyes until he eventually drifted off.
I soon went to bed & was reading my book when a HUGE spider ran down the length of my bed. I screamed & shot out of bed but not a flicker from Frank!!!!
I hate spiders at best of times but because it was so close to me & had invaded my bed I was terrified to say the least. I didn't have my big, strong husband to hug me & tell me it was ok. I was crying, shaking & not far off hyperventilating but managed to get a glass & trap the big blighter. The old trick of glass over it & slide it onto a mat worked & I threw it over the fence into the field. Even a shot of brandy didn't calm me so eventually rang my son " the voice of reason " . Long story short......checked all the rooms, got back into bed & had a restless night. It made me realise how vulnerable & alone I am in the night even though Frank is asleep in the same room.....I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used to be the one the family turned to in a crisis but no more!!!! I feel more & more unable to cope.
Sorry about this but feel better now I've written it down. I must take my own advice & keep smiling.
Take care everyone & yes, keep smiling. Love Hazel B xx