PTSD?

[Stormtrooper4]

Hi all

I posted a couple of months ago that my dad had passed away after a suffering from CBD.

My issue is I am struggling to remember my dad before he was ill. All I see is him laying in his bed and nothing from before he was ill. This is really upsetting me. We had a very traumatic few weeks before we lost dad and what we had to see happening.

I am wondering whether it is possible that I could be suffering from some sort of PTSD? Has anyone else experienced this?

I just feel a bit lost right now.

Thanks

[Sun-flowerwearer]

hello stormtrooper. My father died 15 years ago and I see the last image of him I had as clear as day. Same with my mother who died 10 years ago. So in my case I think those last images will stay with me forever and as they were part of massive emotional distress to me they pop up in my head before other more positive memories of my mum and dad. Often it’s listening to others talking about them that helps think about their lives leading up to their decline so perhaps try and find people that will chat about happier memories with you. That said counselling is always valuable and beneficial. Two months is such a brief time and grief has no timeline so you may well be suffering from PTSD xxx

[Khalissi in reply to Sun-flowerwearer]

Hi there

I lost my dad to PSP last month and I’m going through exactly what you are and can’t even look at photos of dad because that’s not how I remember him …. I hear what you are writing. I don’t have any advice other than it will take time…. Sending you lots and lots of strength x

[AnneandChris]

Hello there

I lost my wonderful husband on 27th December 2019. Within months we were locked down as the pandemic took hold. I had to go to see our Doctor some months later and we had got to know each other well during Chris' illness. Having discussed the reason for the visit, he sat me down and said now talk to me! I think he saw the person sitting in front of him wasn't the Anne he had got to know. He gently suggested that therapy might help and that he thought the trauma of losing Chris to PSP had caused PTSD. I duly registered with a therapist and after 9 sessions found that I was improving. The flashbacks had stopped and I was sleeping properly.

As I approach the 4th anniversary next week, I still occasionally lapse, remembering some of the horrid falls and the rffecys of PSP on my love, but thankfully these are.now few and far between.

Please look after yourself and if you can get some professional help. There is a web site for registered therapists which I was advised to use.

In the meantime, have a good Christmas remembering happier times if you can.

Sending hugs

Anne

[Leosta]

Hi Stormtrooper, I'm no expert in these things but I would think that you are just in the middle of a wave of grief. It can present itself in many different ways, and a couple of months after a death is a relatively short period of time. As Sun-flowerwearer and Anne have suggested try grief therapy; it helped my sister when she lost her partner.In the meantime, dig out photos of your Dad as he was before CBD and look at them and smile and remember happier times.

I wish you strength and courage. 🙏💟

[Bergenser]

Dear Stormtrooper, the others are right that grief is complex and takes time, and also that counselling or therapy could help. I can share what a much younger version of me experienced after a traumatic incident. I was trying to put it behind me and suppress obtrusive thoughts, yet the more I "succeeded" the more fragile and nervous I became. After 2 years I was diagnosed with PTSD and given short term therapy.

It felt good to talk to someone who asked the right questions and made me feel safe and understood. Some of their suggestions surprised me. They told me to take pen and paper and write down everything, leaving nothing out. Making sure I paid attention to every detail, remembering all sensory input and what I had been thinking/telling myself at the time. This writing was time-consuming and difficult work.

Then, whenever the intrusive thoughts came, I was to invite them in and go through the whole story in every detail until it was done. The thoughts would eventually quieten down and leave me alone. With every repetition, the incident lost some of its power. Eventually it became boring, and didn't rear it's head very often. More than 25 years later I still find myself interrupted by the thoughts; I still need to invite them in and acknowledge them, but they never linger.

I would suggest you seek help; if you dare, try to sit with your thoughts and give them time and attention, but don't give them power over you. I believe you will be able to accept what happened, ditch the guilt, acknowledge the anger and sadness - and rediscover the happier memories. All the best wishes.

🌻🫂

[sammy90210]

Sorry to hear about your loss - my dad passed away about 8 years ago and it's only now that I've started missing him.... I took care of him the last 8 months of his life and we all can relate to the idea that we are more relieved they are not suffering anymore than losing them

I would suggest remembering the good make a journal with his photos and memories, write those down... They'll help you remember him at his best

But it's different for everyone so I hope you are at peace sooner - we are always here if you want to talk about your feelings again, best wishes

[Junky60]

It is grief but it is also a form of PTSD, when you are caring for someone with such a severe illness, you are switched on all the time, this is what causes the PTSD, it takes a while but it will get better over time. You might get into a grief support group, it will help a lot just to talk with other that are experiencing the same kind of thing. 🤗

[OllieFisher1]

Aside from your Dad, how are you otherwise with your normal day to day routine?

I am watching my Dad suffer in a resthome.......he has been bed bound for nearly 6 months and can barely talk, and when he does and his words are coherent, its clear he has lost his mind. He is now a shallow of his former self. He had aspiration peneumonia about 5 months ago, and we were told to prepare for his death. I was actually relieved his end would come, but he survived and actually improved. I then struggled to come on this site and hear about others whose loved one had passed.........I keep thinking why not me, why doesnt god take him rather than leave him suffering.

I am better now, and just accepting things as they are and am not beating myself up. I think you should do the same. You will start to remember your Dad. there is not a specific amount of time things take, and you should try to be OK with how you are today unless you are not coping with your normal day to day stuff.