Move to care home

[GeorgeMMXVI]

My 72 year Mum who was diagnosed with PSP in March 2021 was admitted to hospital in January with pneumonia. After a two week stay, she was discharged to a care home for four weeks as she was too unsteady to return home. She is now nearing the end of the four weeks and realistically I can't see how she can return home. She lives alone and needs assistance with everything. She can manage to feed herself although it's a messy affair. We had a meeting with the social worker this week who asked Mum how she felt about a home. Mum is adamant that she doesn't want to go into a care setting, but she won't be safe at home. We have enquired with her current care company about 24 hour care at home, but they quoted us in excess of £3,500 per week, so this is not an option. I completely understand that Mum wants to be in her own home, but she needs to be safe. I know some of you will have had the same dilemma and was wondering what sort of conversation you have had with your loved ones?

Nicki

[Motts]

This is a very sensitive topic for me since mom and I traveled down this road many years ago. We all want to do the best we can for our loved ones... sadly most of us do not have unlimited money. So we explore our options and decide what will work for our own families. It is a an emotional struggle and I will tell you there is a lot of guilt surrounding this issue. My best suggestion is to ditch the guilt (it does not help anyone). Sending Gentle Hugs... Granni B

[OllieFisher1]

It is indeed a conversation that comes with a lot of guilt, but had to do the same thing for my parent 8 months ago now. You have to pragmatic and explain the 24/7 care/supervision requirement is not achievable regardless of other factors. We just talked but did not seek his approval and just did it. He did go with the flow, but his confusion means he cannot remember what happened anyway, and we have to constantly remind him about the 24/7 care and supervision thing. Sometimes hes understanding, and sometimes he tries to do exercises to prove he can be home (obviously that generally ends with him having a fall). If you are sure your Mum is against going to a resthome, I would suggest explaining and doing like we did as you are never likely to get her permission.

[Scottoppy]

I know how you feel , my wife does not want to be in a care home either. We have obtained CHC funding for extended care at home. Ask you social worker to complete a checklist and apply for Continuing Healthcare Funding, she should be familiar with this. It is not means tested and so long as she meets the criteria, which she should given her condition, you can get an assessment from the NHS CHC team. We have carers in for 4 x 1hr slots, Community Access of 6hrs a week and 6 weeks a year respite for me as her principal carer, all this at no cost to us. Go for it you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain, bear in mind it may take a long time to obtain it but keep fighting as you mum will only be getting less and less able to manage as this dreadful condition progresses. We are one year ahead of you after diagnoses in 2020 and 4 years of not knowing what was wrong. Love an Hugs from a carer