It’s that time

[Goroos]

I was not looking forward to the stage my mum is entering. She has just had her first bronchitis infection, is on antibodics and improving. The nursing home has questioned me today on what is next. Mum is really starting to struggle with her swallowing. I am spending a lot of time helping her to lean forward and rubbing her back to help her cough up gunk.

Peg tube is too late, they are suggesting a feed tube in the nose. I need some advice from all of you that are ahead of me on this crazy terrible journey.

I am finding it hard to let her stave. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thanking you all

[AnneandChris]

Oh dear, so sorry to read this post. It reflects where we were this time last year.

Chris, our GP and I had discussed previously all options and had put in Advanced Directives and DNR in place. He did not want to be artificially fed and was reconciled to his end. The wonderful support we received from our GP, District nurses and lovely carers meant he died peacefully at home at Christmas. He continued to have soft foods, soups etc. until early December.

If you know what your Mum wants be led by that.

Take care of yourself too and keep on keeping on.

Hugs

Anne

[Nanny857]

Hi, sorry you are at this stage. Like Anne, my husband and I discussed what his wishes were if he lost his swallow, needed ventilation or resuscitated etc. and also when he came to the end of life stage. Thankfully we got a DNR completed with the help of a Specialist Social Worker.

If your mum is able to communicate, even if it is by just squeezing your hand or by blinking her eyes, I would suggest having one of the nursing staff/manager present with you, to help discuss the options and also being a witness to your mum's wishes. The Home can then record these and follow them through if needed.

It is not an easy task at any stage but it will help you in making decisions and knowing you are carrying out her wishes.

Best wishes and lots of love, Nanny857xx