Liz's home now has a number of residents who are showing flu like symptoms.
Visitors are no longer allowed.
She is less than a mile away. I can feel her presence. I hope she can sense mine.
There will be an opening in this thick clouded sky. Until then I shall wait, not with hope, but with the certainty that when things are bad and they will, in time, give way.
My heart goes out to all, some I know are in harder places than us.
Standing together with you all.
Kevin
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Kevin_1
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As with many folk most support went out ot the back door when PSP came in at the front one.
Yes, I let my feelings out. Years of being a therapist brings the habit of seeking them out and working with them... roots and all. It's enough.
I get a lot very goodsupport here.
Y'know I had never really thought about why I liked the moon over the sea picture in my Avatar. When far out at sea, sailing alone in the dark, just the sounds of the hull splashing through the water, the glow of the compass and the stars above things can feel chilly and grim. Then the moon rises. It's not the dawn of a bright warm new day, but it illuminates the seascape and shines brightly on the white sails. Though it would be nice to have the sun, it is enough to bring some small joy.
I guess I am saying I can't have the Sun right now. So I'll settle for the Moon until it again rises.
No I believe their energy carries on once they leave the stage in a different form.
The current situation is really distressing & triggering my own pain. I think of Mum continually but I'm on high alert again wondering what is going on around her & knowing this could be the final nail for her if caught.
Yes, I know, we are coming from the same place on energy. It's really rather beautiful
Yes, final nails etc... It's on my mind too. I try to accept what I cannot change with grace. Those things I can change I fight like a lion. This, I think, is what you are doing.
I have very deep respect for the paths you have chosen and, also, the great intelligence you've applied.
You have been much more of an amazing daughter than your Mother could have asked.
Oh Kevin. I’m so sad and now you worry if PSP is not the predominant disease to think about. I’m keeping you both in my prayers. Please take care for you both.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Kevin. I think often about the group of folks that post here and are so supportive to one another. This is a difficult time with another layer of concern. I am sad but grateful my love does not have to go through it. Hugs to all. ❤🙏 Kathy
I’m sorry to hear of your change in plan. We preceded you by only a few days here. I think it’s ultimately for the best; but it doesn’t make it easier.
So sorry Kevin to read this. As you and Liz have so much love for each other, although visits are halted, she will have you in her heart, as she is in yours. A very difficult time, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Kevin, I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position. As if you both didn't have enough to contend with. Keep sending your love and energy to Liz. She will feel it. I have been the recipient of your energy and love many times over the past times, so I know it works. Thank you. Hang in there friend. Praying for this to improve so that you and Liz can, once again, hold each others hands. God Bless you both. 🙏🙏😪😪❤️❤️
Thank you for your reply Kevin. I am still on the journey, sadly my Liz has finished hers but she keeps whispering in my ear to guide me. Take care. ❤️
Dear man I'm sorry that this troublesome virus has stopped you visiting Liz, as usual you take a very philosophical view on the situation and your spiritual being kicks in to keep you both connected. I'm full of admiration at the love and loyalty you show toward her. I'm sure it is beyond difficult for you but somehow you make the best of what is possible for you.
Yes, last night was a sourdough rye bread. Thank goodness I have the teeth for it! lol
The visits were tough. Seeing her in her depleted state, but still strong in her spirit and so very aware of everything. But, not visiting is harder.
We wait.
At times like these my old moody lover calls to me, the sea.
Sailing alone is such a wonderful way of just 'being', for me.
One day I might return to the sea. As with all old men, having done the 'big stuff' I will go for a simple open boat of my younger days and to the beautiful West Scottish coast where I had many years of wandering.
Just thoughts... At sea my spirit is free to be close to all of the ones I have loved and lost.
Hi Kevin, I feel your pain as my husband is in A care home and it went into lockdown on Monday. His voice is so quiet it is hard to hear him when I am close to him, so if I phoned to speak with him it would be a one way conversation. I have posted him a card with a few words to let him know we are thinking about him. He probably is fine , it's family that struggle. Take care & best wishes.
Just when you think it can't get any harder. . . . . .!
Glad to hear that you have found a way to make peace with something you can't change. I feel like that is the key to taking care of yourself. Hopefully this will be over soon.
Your worst nightmare Kevin. The home where John was goes into lockdown today and I don’t know how I would have coped not being able to visit. The terrible thing as well as all outside entertainment is stopped . Just stay strong xx
The nursing homes in Argentina were lockdown since Sunday noon. I saw my sister at evening as an exception. We have talked 2 meters away. I was deeply sad until yesterday. I could feel her solitude. But the life's law push me up, yesterday.
Dearest Kevin. My heart goes out to you too. Is Liz still mobile? A friend of mine was allowed to visit her husband in the garden as long as she did not touch him and another the home have set up Skype for residents. I know nothing is as precious as actually being with someone but these two things helped others in a similar situation. In the meantime I am sure that she can feel your presence if you can feel hers. Lots of love AliBee cc
As stressful as this pandemic is, it has surely made me look back and appreciate all the little things life had to offer, even with Dans illness. He is commonly hospitalized every few months. I pray I can keep him home during this mess. I am in Wisconsin in the US. Hospitals are not allowing visitors and it is projected that they soon may be overwhelmed.
It’s great that you have such a good relationship with Liz’s caregivers. I’m sure they will do their best to remind her of your love and devotion. These times seem almost unbelievable.
I am so sorry Kevin, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and all the other people here who are in the same position. I know you don't need reminding the love you share is still there and holds you together whatever the world throws at you.
I'm just so aware that I am the only one who sits and tells her the news, from home and of the world. Carers will sit with her, but they say little as they don't know what to say.
You take good care of yourself.
Life can get a little difficult and then a rogue peach tree grows out of the dung heap.
My husband in his final days and at home. Worry that it will be so sad when he goes because the hospitals and all the funeral places are so overwhelmed and scared right now. I am hoping now we can survive long enough for a decent burial. I am at 20 % Lung capacity and taking care of him at home. Although I am glad he is home I am afraid of something happening to me or him at this time. Such a time of uncertainty. God bless us all! May we find our way together to a better, brighter world for or children’s children. Praying for you all!
Thank you. I am so amazed at your wonderful, heartfelt comments you continue to share with so many. We are truly all connected and the gifts are given to us when we can care for one another.
I have been a silent member of this amazing forum since 2015. All of you have been more helpful than you’ll ever know. My husband lost his battle with PSP last September, and as I’m alone through this pandemic I’ve been thankful that we didn’t have this complication to deal with. My heart is so heavy for Kevin and Mtorres especially. PSP was hard enough to deal with in itself. Then I feel awful being relieved he isn’t living through this. Grief is so confusing.
You aren’t the only one who feels that way Keko: I’ve said the exact same thing in my head (toMy deceased hubby) all through this covid business. It IS a strange process!
Our heads are full of things we 'should' thing and do. That's the way we are as humans. It's completely reasonable for you not to want your deceased husband to be here and suffer.
I am hoping this is going to be the long awaited release my lovely Liz has been waiting for. Though I will miss her terribly when she is gone. She little no longer be suffering.
Thinking of you both Kevin. I know how difficult those mixed feelings are. I often think at present how complicated it would be if Chris was still here.
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