1year on

[Suebatt]

Hi all

Not been on as often as I should have but I hope that you all are staying strong which know is hard and most important the carers get some rest at some point

Today is a year since Archie past to a better place he was in

I miss him so much but I know he’s about somewhere more than likely laughing at me and he is my motivation to get through whatever is thrown at me

Hope you all are ok and sending love hugs and kisses to all

Take care

Sue xx

[Spiralsparkle]

Massive hugs to you.

I imagine today is painful for you.

Lots of love xxx

[Kevin_1]

Hugs to you

Wishing you the best

Warmly

Kevin

xx

[Suebatt in reply to Kevin_1]

Thank you Kevin hope Liz and are doing ok

Xx

[Kevin_1 in reply to Suebatt]

Liz struggles. Thus so do I.

We get through each day.

It's all we can ask.

Hugs

Kevin

[Suebatt in reply to Kevin_1]

True but take care xx

[Satt2015]

Hey Sue, we miss you! Sending you much love and hope life will slowly improve for you darling x

[Suebatt in reply to Satt2015]

Hi Amanda

I still watch things on here but don’t comment which I should really

It’s not bad just plodding on as you do

Hope you and family doing ok too xx

[SewBears in reply to Suebatt]

My once very wise husband pleaded with me to remove all “should’s” or “I should have’s” from my vocabulary. He used to tell me to focus on accomplishments and put all of the should’s on a shelf. “No sense in beating yourself up” he would say. He’s still hanging on but oh how I miss his cleverness!

[Suebatt in reply to SewBears]

Yes it takes things away bit by bit and I was his mouth piece lol and in my vocabulary I always said it was my way to look after him .He ended up on 24/7 care at home and if I didn’t like them they were gone too

Unfortunately you end up having a different life with one thing or the other

Glad that he’s still hanging in there and just make sure you have abit of time to yourself

Sue xx

[SewBears]

Hi Sue, Our stories crossed paths because I joined the group ten months ago. It feels like it’s been much longer than that. I’m probably where you were about three, maybe four years ago? I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are remembering all of the good times before the dreadful disease finally won. Please continue to share your story with us if it isn’t too painful. You mention carers in your post but left out griever’s. I do hope that you’re taking care of yourself too. It can’t be easy. I like your humor and I understand how you think he’s laughing at you for the things that are thrown your way. I lost my mom several years ago and occasionally I talk to her out loud. Especially when I sew something (she taught me how to sew, a lost art). I’ll end up ripping something out because it was done backwards or something and I can just hear her laughing at me. Good times!

Thanks for sharing your one year anniversary. I’m happy to hear that there is still some sort of life after...

Love, from I SewBears

[Suebatt in reply to SewBears]

Hi sewbears

Yes I remember the good times that we had before the crappy illness tool hold of him .my stories I’ve always put on cause I always carried on with nhs cause they knew nothing and then battled with chc to get his full care

Yes he knew that I would get what was best and the cheeky s d that he was always called me Peggy mount

I have his ashes still so when I want to vent I go in room and carry on or tell him what I’m doing

Yeah I forgot them that are grieving and hoping they are doing ok too

Take care

Hugs

Sue xx

[Katiebow in reply to Suebatt]

I'm a year down the line too Sue and still have most of Bens ashes, waiting for my son's to visit together so that we can all go to the Ashdown Forest to sprinkle them in the place wher I always took Ben when I collected him from the hospital each day so that we could sit and enjoy the view looking towards the South Downs. He broke his hip and spent 13weeks in hospital, 5 of them waiting for a care package so was desperate to get out of the place for a couple of hours every day. I have taken some ashes up to Edinburgh, the place of his berth and scattered them in a place meaningful to us both. For me I feel the need to hang onto them! That reminds me, must sort out his clothes as haven't touched them either.

Sending love

Kate xx

[doglington in reply to Katiebow]

I'm the same Kate. Still have the ashes. Most of his clothes too.

X

[Cuttercat in reply to doglington]

Can’t get rid of some items of clothing. They are him.

Cuttercat

[doglington in reply to Cuttercat]

Thats true. So many memories are evoked by clothes.

x

[Suebatt in reply to Katiebow]

Hi Kate

I remember that you was near to Archie passing

I’m one of these people that I have to move everything when I rang for the stuff to be removed eg profile bed etc they told me it would be in a month so I told them no problem it will be outside for you hah they came within 3 days

His ashes I’m going to split and like yourself I’m taking to Scotland at some point cause he lived up there as a kid and he never forgot his roots

Hugs love and kisses to you Kate

Sue xx

[Katiebow in reply to Suebatt]

Yes I had all the equipment removed the day after he died but didn't feel the same about clothes and ashes. I would have thought that very weird before I went through it myself, you just can't anticipate how it's going to take you! xxxx

[Marie_14]

Sue

Good to hear from you again. I am sad for you today I have been there too and it hurts. At least it's another of the awful firsts out of the way?

Take care and remember we are always here for you.

Marie x

[Suebatt in reply to Marie_14]

Thanks Marie

As I said I do look at the posts and again I should give input sometimes

Hope that u are ok too and getting by in the fashion that we do

You take care

Hugs

Sue xx

[NannaB]

❤️ XxxX

[Yvonneandgeorge]

Sue also think about you, sad times, but time moves so fast, it’s frightening really how time goes. Sending you a big hug. Yvonne xxxxx

[Suebatt in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Thanks Yvonne

I hope your well too I agree that the times move so fast it feels like only yesterday then also years ago

I look back and see that there are 3 stages in our life with this crappy illness

1st. Where we had a life together and getting our good memories

2nd. Where this comes in and eventually takes over our life in so many ways and destroys the normality of our life’s

3rd where we have to get a different life again pulling through with everything that has gone on and basically starting again doing things on your own and now only have our memories

I honestly think that this crap made us stronger throughout the bad times where we coped in our own ways and sort of gave us the bit of strength to get through it

Yvonne take good care of yourself and hope that you are doing things now that you couldn’t before

Take care lots of hug and kisses

Sue xx

[Cuttercat]

I’m approaching that mark too. Alas I’m just trying to take it one day at a time.

Cuttercat

[Suebatt in reply to Cuttercat]

Hi cuttercat

Yeah unfortunately that’s all we can do

Take care

Sue xx

[Katiebow in reply to Cuttercat]

Funny how differently we all cope (or not!) There is just no knowing how it will affect you and you have to ride the storm however that happens to be. The loneliness is very hard to deal with don't you find?

Sending much love

Kate xxx

[Suebatt in reply to Katiebow]

Yeah I agree with the loneliness cause he had been housebound for 2years I was basically in too if I did nip to shops it was a nightmare so the first 6mths after it really felt odd being out but not bad now

I’m glad of my sister and brother in law as they are all I see and my neighbours each side of me but I get by

Take care

Sue xx

[Cuttercat in reply to Katiebow]

Yes the loneliness is bad. Not lonely for people but lonely for Charles. Keeping busy doesn’t help. Nothing does. Alas.

Love

Cuttercat

[NanBabs]

Dear Sue,

It will be a year tomorrow since P left us, so I can empathise with everything you said - one day at a time.

xx

[Suebatt in reply to NanBabs]

We can say that’s it’s been a journey and half

You take care

Hugs

Sue xx

[Katiebow in reply to NanBabs]

There was certainly a good few of us who lost our soulmates this time last year, funny how that seems to happen.

Sending love

Kate xxx

[JantheNana]

Sue I am approaching the end of my second year without my beloved.The first year went by in a whirlwind,I think I must have been numb. All I can remember of that year is dealing with emptying his study (or “man cave” as some call it today). But this second year I have become more of myself again. There’s things I wish I could do that my physical limitations don’t allow me to do but I plod on. Hoping a good year for you! Hugs!!. Janet

[Suebatt in reply to JantheNana]

Hi Janet

This year has gone by quickly and I am just getting out and about a bit more now and I’m like you I’m limited to whatI can do but it better than sitting in house

Hugs back to you

Take care

Sue xx

[Nanny857]

Lovely to hear from you Sue even though it is a sad reminder of your loss. Keep the happy memories to the front of your mind. Sending you love and hugs . Nanny857xx

[Suebatt in reply to Nanny857]

Thank you nanny857

Yes I should voice abit more because I still read things

Love and hugs back to you

Sue xx

[doglington]

Good to hear from you Sue.

I'm in a similar place. I'm doing all the right things but it feels empty.

Keep in touch. We can still support each other through the next stage.

I now have much clearer memories of Chris without PSP but in some ways that increases the feelings of loss.

Big hug for you Sue from Jean xxx

[Suebatt in reply to doglington]

Hi jean

I know what you mean about empty for the yr previous I had 2 carers in 24/7 then nothing .i look back before psp of how we were which helps

You take care of yourself too and sending hugs and kisses back to you

Sue xx

[Hiking13]

Thinking of you, be kind to yourself but it’s a hard journey- all of it the PSP bit and then the grieving bit is relentless too

Love Sarahxxx