Yesterday, May 10th, was Dia de Las Madres in Mexico, being of Mexican descent on both my mom's and dad's side, and with this Sunday, May 13th, being MOTHER'S DAY in the states (USA, I wish us all a wonderful day..... and as relaxing as living with PSP/CBD will allow.
I found being a caretaker for my son, the care-taking part, was pretty close to being a mom. So those of you who have never been a mom, if you are a caretaker, you have gotten a taste of motherhood.
I had shared that my sister (Texas) and my daughter (Oregon) came into Los Angeles to spend this past weekend with me (Jeff having died a year ago). We shared stories of Jeff, got into each others' way, ruffled each others' feathers....It was wonderful, as only family can be. They are now gone, but the good memories linger, as do wonderful memories of Jeff.
I am sharing a photo of Mother's Day, 2014, of the three of us......Jeff, Anne and myself. When Jeff died I cut off all my hair. Jeff and Anne are 15 months apart. That year Jeff had showed the symptoms of a neurological condition, but Kaiser Permanente (his health plan) had not DX him yet.
We were blissfully ignorant, and believe me, looking back ignorance can be bliss. Anne flew in from Oregon and we went to the Music Center (Ahmanson) to see PORGY AND BESS.
I've decided it 's time to let my hair grow back......progress!
Blessings, Margarita
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enjoysalud
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Thank you, Pavaga. I am doing better, and as I write about the "journey after... with grief" I find myself feeling a bit better.
How are you doing with the adjustments to Dave's condition? I am glad that you allowed him the trip to Mexico. I'm sure it made him face a double edge sword.....the good being that he could manage the trip and the reality that he is not as able as in the past.
As for me, I find that my fears can create/interfere with the choices of my loved one's, and then of course there is the other side....."Why didn't I stop him/her?"
What state do you live in? I read that you lived in South America and moved to the states. I once had the opportunity to visit Brazil for six weeks, 1983.
Pavaga, since Dave is at the beginning of this illness, looking back at the loss of my son, I encourage you to think/see about getting him into a clinical trial..........both Abb-Vie and the Biogen sound promising. DonnaSue has written about her husand's participation in Abb-vie, and Dickwin about his wife's in Biogen. Both post on this site.
You wrote about a son..............what university is he enrolled in and does he have a major selected yet? I have two grandchildren, thro my daughter, enrolled at the U of Oregon. They add light to my life.
My prayers go out to you and may your MOTHER'S DAY be a day of celebration for you.
Margarita, you have the most glorious smile!! ..and not just in 2014: that picture of you and Christine47 also showed your brilliant smile. I'm so glad you are growing your hair again. That just seems like a positive thing to do
Do you ever imagine Jeff smiling down on you and saying "Yes: You were the best mother a boy and man could ever have"? You did what few mothers do - see a son through from beginning to end.
Heartfelt Hugs to you for Dia de Las Madres and Mother's Day XXX
So ironic, several years before Jeff got taken ill, he told me, "I'm going to miss you, mom, when you are gone." Neither of us suspecting he would go first.
BTW, one MOTHER'S DAY for my present (he was not big on presents...called it "stuff")) he sent me the YouTube of "I'll Always Love my Mama" by the Intruders (an R&B group) with HAPPY MOTHERS DAY. At his memorial, the band (made up of different players he had played with thro the years) played it. A surprise. He must have mentioned it to some of them.
Did you notice my daughter's name is spelled exactly as yours? She has had a difficult time with Jeff's death....her only sibling...her older brother. She is a TRUST and ESTATE attorney. When Jeff was in Law School at Cal Berkeley they lived in the same complex. She lived with her boyfriend, later to become her husband, in another building. She also lost everything in the Berkeley fire. She was already practicing and Jeff was in his third year of law School. They have always been close.... he born in 1962, and she in 1963.
Yup, I can feel the healing....putting attention and care to my "person" is part of the pre-Jeff PSP illness. Who would have known I would miss him so much....especially since taking care of him took the majority of my life and some of my health. The first feelings are relief that he was no longer suffering, but wham.....the rest of the beginning of mourning came to visit.
Thank you, Kevin. I guess none of us is prepared for tragedies of life...thinking that happens to others.
I hope my journey with grief, when yours arrives, will be a comfort......the help we give each other does not take away the anguish, but definitely give comfort and a feeling of "normalcy???"
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