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The good, the bad and the ugly

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Those of you who have followed my last post will know that after Nigel’s last bout of seizure and not being able to come out of hospital I decided that our house is just not suitable for him and that we need to move to a bungalow. So:

The good: Once the snow had cleared I looked at 6 properties and found a very suitable one which is empty through probate, about 13 miles from where we are now but only 5 minutes away from my sister, so I made an offer. The photos of our house were taken on the Friday. We had 3 viewings on the Tuesday and we had 3 offers, two at the asking price. One couple have no chain so accepted their offer.

The bad: Last week Nigel got another infection so his mobility decreased and confusion increased; the stair lift broke down three times which endorsed our need to move and the legal paperwork to sell a house is pretty daunting when completing it on one’s own.

The ugly: Me screaming down the phone at the stair lift people, when at 08.30 Sunday morning when the stair lift got stuck at the bottom of the stairs with the arm down and Nigel on the wrong side of it, and them telling me that they had no available engineer till Monday morning !!!!

Love Ali B x

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Good news about the house - congratulations on all that. It is hard to do all this on your own, I know. I hope the closings and the move go easily, and that you have help.

Best wishes,

ec

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Thanks. It means a lot when I can off load on here as I don't feel so alone and lovely neighbours have offered help. Ali B

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Wow you go girl,sad as it is you have fight for so many things when your dealing with a load on your back which would kill most people.

Do remember to take of yourself.

Dee

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Thanks Dee. It is hard to find relax time for one's self isn't it? I just wish Nigel could help as we always shared things before. I phoned Social Services about some extra help with respite care whilst we move and was told ' Well you have some time so don't use your 'sits' and you can then use that money when you need it for respite when you do need it !! We pay 49% of his care and they pay 51% and that allows for personal care and 4.5 hours for me weekly. I told them that they obviously have no idea how precious those 'away' hours are but uesed only 2 hours instead this morning and that was good. Love Ali B xx

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Hi Ali B

I don't know what to say!

Caring full on as usual!

That stair lift thing is a nightmare - we got caught a couple of times!

There should be a Sitcom: "Carers"

Strength to you!

xx

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Thanks Kevin. The stair lift fiasco really brought it home that we HAVE to move even though I love it here. Ali B xx

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Good luck with the move :)

xx

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Ali,

Wow. You really took the bull by the horns! I admire you for that. Good luck with your moving, buying and selling. You are doing what I should have done a year ago. Good move!

Hope Nigel improves and can enjoy your new home. Can just imagine the phone call to the chair lift co. Would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of your call.

Thanks for sharing your story. Very motivating in spite of adversity. You rock!!

Hugs,

Liz

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Thanks xx

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Your story of the stair lift would be funny if it wasn't so serious and with no help at hand. Did you have to call the ambulance? It sounds as if youve had no trouble selling your house and pleased you have found yourselves a suitable bungalow. We fortunately were able to adapt our house and live downstairs as if a bungalow. You never think of the future when buying a house when you are younger, we were just fortunate that there are no steps to deal with, a flat drive and an ingegeral garage that we converted to a wet room and utility room. Ben sleeps in what was the dining room and I sleep in the lounge, not ideal but it works. I had to arrange everything and oversee all building, plumbing , new patio and drive to allow wheelchair access, it was a major task but at least we didn't have to move. I'm not surprised you are feeling a bit daunted but once it's done you'll be very proud of yourself, its amazing how deep you can dig.

Love Kate xxx

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Yes. I have had similar things to deal with. We just get on with it but when I look back I'm amazed at myself !!!

Love, Jean xxx

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Dear Kate

I think the stair lift fiasco really made me realise that the move has to happen. I had priced out adapting this house as I love it here but it was stupid prices when I had to consider things like outside wheelcahir lifts. My Mum died last September and my siblings and I are sharing her estate from the sale of her bungalow and I know that she would be pleased that my share is allowing us financially to be able to move. Unless you live with someone who has to use a wheelchair you really have no idea do you? I actually took Nigel's lightweight wheel chair with me on viewings as I then drove it empty round the properties and realised where things just would not work. I know it will be worth it in the end but right now I am worn out.

Love Ali B x

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It's both tiring and stressful house hunting, that with a disabled partner adds another dimension to the process. I do wish you both well and hope the sale and purchase of th bungalow goes through without too much hassle. Look after yourself Ali, you need to keep well to see this through and you will.

Love Kate xxx

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Thank you. Doctor has told me this morning that I need a hip replacement !!!!!

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Oh no Ali, is that in the future or urgent? xx

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Hi

The referral has been done so it will have to be after we move. It is giving me real problem today and I would have it done tomorrow if I could but it will have to be sorted out around who will care for Nigel whilst I am out of action. In the mean time paracetamol and hotwater bottles are being used !! xx

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Being incapacitated when you are a carer is a real fear of mine, last week I had just a couple of days not feeling good at all but had to carry on as best I could. Hip replacement is a whole different ball game with such a long recovery time and having to move house too! My heart goes out to you Ali, life can seem so unfair but you will get through this somehow.

Sending you a massive hug, I think you may need one

Love Kate xxx

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Ali, Way to go!

Congrats on the house move!! Sounds just the thing. Sorry about Nigel though..and what did you end up doing about him trapped on Sunday in the lift?😧

Anne G

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Luckily he wasn't on the stair lift as it had reached the bottom with the arm down across the hall and he was on the wrong side of it to get to the lounge and his chair. Also as he was getting very agitated, as things were not as they should, be his leg was jerking all over the place and would not walk - he has CBD. So Inititiative stepped in. I climbed over the stairlift so I could get the car keys and open the back door whilst leaving him hanging on to the banisters. I then I brought his wheelchair to the front door and somehow we got him in it and then I wheeled him round to the back door and somehow I managed to relax him enough by giggling about it all so that his leg worked a little and we got him into the lounge with his zimmer frame. Then I flopped as I felt like I had run a marathon. Would have mad a good comedy sketch. I guess if he had been half way up the stairs I would have to have called the firebrigade out. Love Ali B x

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Multitasking takes on another meaning doesn't it! xxx

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Good for you trying to make him laugh! Its so stressful and they have such sensitive antennae to our stress - at least my hubby does!! Sounds like a good thing but it can be an added stress on us!

Hugs

Anne G.

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Well done !! Hope all is sorted now - good, bad and ugly !!!

Love, Jean xx

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It is thank goodness . Love Ali B xx

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Wow you are an amazing lady we moved into our bungalow 4 years ago, George has not really been able to do anything, I don’t remember him being able to do any gardening, I remember he went out into the garden wanting to do a bit of gardening, he ended up in the floor bed, to dangerous for him after that. I think the hardest part of moving is you don’t realise all the things you have, so much rubbish. Good luck with everything. Yvonne xx.

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Thank you. It is very daunting as Nigel did a lot of it when we moved here 14 years ago and I find it hard when I cannot ask his advice, but I know we will get there eventually. Ali B xx

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