Assisted living even possible?: Has anyone... - PSP Association

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Assisted living even possible?

Judyskid profile image
23 Replies

Has anyone been able to find an assisted living situation with enough assistance to allow someone who is a 2 person transfer with a sit to stand lift to stay there.

I am desperate for a place where my dad and mom could live in an apt. together, but rehab is not working.

Has anyone found a workable situation for this?

Myself and my sibling live and work out of state and have mortages etc. to pay and so cannot do the care ourselves without bringing down financial ruin on our families.

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Judyskid profile image
Judyskid
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23 Replies
easterncedar profile image
easterncedar

Good morning, Judyskid - I threw in my rather valueless two cents about assisted living on your previous post. I hope someone else chimes in more helpfully. I do recommend getting hospice involved; they may be able to provide in-home services useful to your parents. They are not just for end of life palliative care. Of course all depends on where your parents are living. These things vary. Best wishes, ec

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply toeasterncedar

Thank you very much. I don't know how they could certify (death within 6 months), but I will try that angle.

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar in reply toJudyskid

Our good hospice said the 6-month or 6-week question wasn't supposed to be asked; the other hospice, which I didn't choose, did ask it but also said a doctor can certify repeatedly that death is projected within the required time frame. Our good hospice didn't make me jump through any hoops at all.

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply toeasterncedar

Thank you easterncedar. Exactly what services were they able to provide?

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar in reply toJudyskid

We only had hospice the last month, but they provided a daily visit from a nurse, on-call nursing services, a massage therapist, a music therapist and a social worker to coordinate every thing and to counsel me in general. At that point my sweetheart wasn't really communicating much. At an earlier stage, when we were getting in-home services through a different agency, which offered palliative care through Medicaid, we had occupational, physical and speech therapy visits, each for a limited time, as well as regular visits from a retired man just to socialize and be there to give me a break so I could run errands and such.

Asking around the office, I find that even in this neck of the woods there are a couple of assisted living facilities that offer something like the apartment with help that you were asking about, and I recalled that I had some distant relatives in Buffalo in a place like that. Where are your folks?

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply toeasterncedar

They are in the Pacific NW. On the Peninsula. The rehab is in a place called Silverdale. I am definitely persuing trying to get an asst. living. that will allow my parents to be together. Thank you for your information.

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar in reply toJudyskid

Good luck! Let me know how you get on, please. I have only been to that corner of the US twice, and just to the Seattle area. Mind-bogglingly gorgeous.

enjoysalud profile image
enjoysalud in reply toJudyskid

I would GOOGLE ....."ASST Living" for a married couple in Silverdale, WA. Then call a few of them and tell them of the medical situation of your parents and ask them if they have any suggestions where you might call to get more info.

I Googled Silverdale to find out where in the Pacific Northwest it was located. My daughter lives in a suburb outside of Portland, Oregon. Oregon is also considered the Pacific Northwest.

Apparently Silverdale is one hour and 20 minutes from Seattle on I-5. Different states have different provisions, different levels of health care offerings. My fantasy is that the bigger cities have more choices.

My daughter is always trying to get me to move to Portland, and did when her brother was alive. The healthcare in Oregon is more extensive and cheaper than California.

If I were you, I would spend some time on the internet, GOOGLE, and get some phone numbers and do some calling. I figure it will take you a couple of 6 hour days. It is time consuming, but you will be better informed.

AFter you get the info, you mgiht want to consider a flight out to WA to check things in person.

Another consideration is to move your parents to a state where you or your siblings live that do have the accommodations. I'm sure it would be a comfort to them to have one of you physically closer to them.

Good luck

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply toenjoysalud

Unfortunately she cannot travel except by ambulance so moving is not an option. I tried to get her too prior to this and was refused. However, once we settle on a place I will go down to help them settle in and clean the house so it can be sold to pay for their care.

enjoysalud profile image
enjoysalud in reply toJudyskid

You did not mention where you or your siblings live.....but GOOGLE "long distance patient transport" that may give you some phone numbers to call for info to move your parent or parents close to one of you. Also, check out the costs of "care" in each location where you and your siblings live.

I think as life and their age progresses you will be grateful to have your parents geographically closer to a child of theirs.

Good luck!!!

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply toenjoysalud

Thank you. I would love to have them closer. When i tried to convince mom of that when she was fully with it just 2 months ago she said " state is the last place in earth i would live". I will look into it though and see about convincing my dad.

GonnaMissDaddy profile image
GonnaMissDaddy in reply toJudyskid

Sad as it is for all, it may come down to your dear mom needing to choose between the lesser of several evils. Would she rather live in WA where her choices of where to live as a couple are more limited or nearer to family who can visit on weekends? If you and your Mom are like most of us, you can't really imagine the horrors of PSP until you're living it, at which time your parents may very well want nothing more than a visit from you on a regular basis. I wish you the best.

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply toGonnaMissDaddy

Absolutely

NHGrace profile image
NHGrace

You can also search for the local “area agency on aging” and they should list many (if not all) of the residential living options. Plus, they’ll have staff (typically social workers) who can talk you through this. Good luck!

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid

Thank you NH Grace. I did contact them for the area and there is only 1 nursing home on the peninsula and my dad refuses to have my mom go there.

Kevin_1 profile image
Kevin_1

Hi Judyskid

You could try a combination approach.

Getting an assisted living usit and contracting in extra community carers,

The community care team should be able to do an assessment of the amount of care needed for it to be viable.

You may need to factor in urgent visits such as if there is a fall.

Best to you

Kevin

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid

We are working on that. Thank you.

My sister lives in a two bedroom assisted living apartment in TX. They provide nursing staff but my sister pays for 24/7 aides. She cannot be alone. Hospice comes to visit once a week to oversee her needs. Good luck. I was fortunate to relocate across country to be her caregiver. My husband works from home and i retired. But it is hard on the caregiver. We left behind our kids and friends back on the East Coast. T.

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply to

Thank you Tina. I am trying to see if there is any way to do the same down here. Except I must continue working, but dad can be with her if aids do all the care.

GonnaMissDaddy profile image
GonnaMissDaddy in reply to

God bless you for rearranging your entire life to accommodate your sister!!!!! I too was able to stop my life to move in with my dad and his wife to help with his care as he too, needed 24/7 care for the last over 2 years of his life. You'll be able to be back on The East coast again because psp doesn't last but just so long.... but what a very bittersweet time it will be for you. I'm in VA myself and didn't have too far to move to be back "home" for Daddy. I miss him a lot but I sure don't miss his psp.

Once all the aides are in place and caring for your mother, your dad can monitor, get some alone time, stay active and oversee your mothers' care. I must say i do all the aides billing since we are not hiring through an agency. Good luck.

Judyskid profile image
Judyskid in reply to

Are the aids present 24/7? Can you give me some idea of the monthly cost? Thank you very much.

Yes. Various shifts throughout the weekday and weekend. The highest paid aide is during the day. Rate are $13.00 -$19.00 per hour. Expensive but good care is worth the money, and good honest aides are difficult to find for our loved ones. T.

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