The Next Step

After months of my mother in law being in the home, the family has come to the realization that she will not be coming out.

We are moving all her belongings out of her condo, we have leased it out.

The other day I went to her place and started packing her personal belongings, my husband and his brother cannot do this, they are too attached. When I volunteered my husband breathed a sigh of relief.

I was close to my mother in law, corection, still am. She called me in a few months ago when she was still at home and gave me specific instructions from what she wants to wear when she passes to who gets her jewellery. I thought that was it, she was going, but here we are 6 months later.

I went through all her clothes and found some pretty incredible things. She was a seamstress, a damn good one. She had so many bed sheets and napkins that she embroided by hand, it was her way of making a boring piece of cotton or linen look nice. Looking back it was such a pity she gave up sewing so many years ago to help her husband at his butcher shop. She did however make all her clothes, and when she was tired of that look, she would take it apart and make something else with the same fabric. If you looked on the inside of any garment she made, you could not tell the inside from the outside, she was a perfectionist.....CBD took that from her.

As I was going through her stuff, I noticed something, she kept everything. I bought her a beautiful apron from Italy a few years ago, it was tucked away never to be used. I found almost everything we ever bought her tucked away, almost as if she was waiting for a special occassion to wear it, but that special occassion never happened.

I have the ability to remove myself from any situation and deal with the task at hand. I don't put my emotions into it. I don't think a momento is important, I think time is important, I believe once someone is gone the material things dont matter to them so why should they matter to us?

So as I was packing all her belongings and preparing to move all her furniture into storage I thought about her. How she never spent any money, how she would save that one piece of lace just in case she could use it on something. How she worked so hard all her life putting everything away for a 'just in case' moment. And in the end, everything she saved, everything se kept is of no use to her.

So, live for today, if you want to do something, do it. If you have a bucket list, go through it and if you want to tell someone something, say the song goes

we're here for a good time, not a long time, so have a good time the sun don't shine everyday.......



9 Replies

  • That really hit home.... thanks x

  • Wow, that is so true . I am just imagining her clothes so lovely. I hope that you can give her things away to those who will use it ....We never know how much time we got but at least we still got some time to love lets give someone a hug today....

    You are spot on, Paola



  • A beautiful post thank you for sharing Paola

    Your words are very wise and we should all take note! X

  • I love this post, Paola. So much wisdom! Thanks!

  • Thank you for these lovely thoughts Paola. Memories and time spent with our loved ones are the most important things. Everything else is just window dressing. As the saying goes 'you can't take it with you'. I am determined to have as good a time as possible with my husband for however much time he has left, and your post has just affirmed this. Thank you.

    Pauline xx

  • Paola

    Your beautiful writing brings this lovely lady to life on the page.

    So sad and yet so full of care and love.

    Thank you for sharing it.



  • Words I'm living by. x

  • Thanks for those final words in this post I just reminded me that this was always my motto, but of late forgotten as I keep putting mum and my family first. I shall do something this weekend for me, and will worry about feeling guilty later xx

  • There should be no guilt in takng care of YOU! When my husband and I were younger and our kids were small, we always took 1 day out of each month for date night. I hated leaving the kids, I thought I was bad for doing so, my mom never did. But someone once told me that the kids will move on and start their own lives, if you dont take time to nuture your marriage like you do your kids, you will have nothing left when they leave.

    When I have had enough, with everything in life I find that sitting down and writing in my journal really helps. It helps to get all the frustration out in a constructive way. Then I go back months and sometimes years later and realize that life does go on.



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