Colin finally went peacefully this evening. I have been with him 24 hours a day, "sleeping" on a chair beside him for the last 13 nights. This evening I sat down next to him to listen to the Archers, our 12 minute nightly ritual, and was asleep before the signature tune started. I awoke 70 minutes later and he had gone, with my hand resting on his shoulder. No sound, he just went into a forever sleep so my prayers were answered, even if it took a bit longer than expected.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers, good wishes, hugs etc. Now I have another normal to get used to.
Lots of love to all of you who are still living with PSP and those who, like me, are now looking to life after PSP.
Lots of love from Bev Aka Nanna B
X
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NannaB
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Oh Bev I am so sorry for you. I know you have been waiting and dreading this but it is still a shock when it actually happens. My thoughts are with you and your family and I will pray for you and Colin.
Darling Bev (nannab) I'm so so sorry! My eyes are filled with tears and my heart full of sadness but....I'm soooo pleased Colin left peacefully and is now finally free of Psp. You have always been there for me and are a total inspiration,my heart goes out to you and please Bev, if there's any I can do, just message me! ❤️
Bev, I'm so so sorry but also happy that Colin passed so peacefully, he is now free from this distressing disease. I send all of my love and a great big hug.
There are no words that I can think of that seem adequate.
I'm so pleased your prayers were answered and Colin slipped away peacefully with you by his side. No one could ask for anymore to pass that way after such an illness.
May it be of comfort to you in the coming days and months. You did everything you could for Colin and have been such a help to others here.
He will be with you and looking down watching his love and be free of disease.
Oh Bev I am laying here in bed, I felt so sad that Colin, had passed away, tears in my eyes, you have been an inspiration to us all, I hope that we can do what you have done, for Colin, now he can rest in peace, PSP can't hurt him anymore. My deepest sympathy to you and your boys. Sending you a big hug Bev. Yvonne xxxxx
Dear Bev/ NannaB, I'm so sorry for your loss but so thankful prayers were answered and Colin passed away peacefully and with you by his side. Now my prayers and tears are for you. You have been such an inspiration to me and I'm sure to others. Sending you lots of love, Nanny857 xx
Oh Bev, my heart is breaking for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My deepest sympathy. There are no words. Your hand on his shoulder when he passed. Will always remember that. I have tears in my eyes. He is watching over you and always will. BIG HUGS AND LOVE.
Prayers are being lifted for you, Nanna B. It is evident to all that you did everything in your power to make life as good as it could be for your dear Colin. I know you are thankful that you were with him at the end. Cherish your many memories. All my best,
Oh dearest Bev, I am sending all my love to you and your family at this very sad time. Colin, may you rest in peace, finally free of this evil disease.
NannaB, know that you did everything possible for your man, we all live in awe of you and the way you coped and fought PSP. Not only for Colin, but the rest of us as well. All our loved ones are cared for so much better, thanks to your inspiration and support of us all.
Now it's your turn. You have proved to yourself that you are an extremely strong caring person. Use that strength to get through the next few months and beyond. Your caring abilities in looking after yourself and your belief that he has gone to a better place and will be waiting for you.
My arms are around you, in your moment of sadness and will stay there as long as you need them.
Bev (NannaB): My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. What a peaceful way to die. I am so glad that you were right next to him. Something about being right next my Les gave me peace because I know that is what he would have wanted. Tough days are ahead but know that everyone on this site is always so supportive.
My dear Bev my heart goes out to you. I am glad Colin's journey on the stairway to heaven was a peaceful one and you was by his side when he took the steps.
Take your time to discover the roads that you must travel and I hope and pray that you can find the peaceful country lane that will start you on your healing journey.
I am sorry for your loss NannaB.. i know exactly how you feel but i also know you are strong woman and will move on in your life... lots of hugs.. take care of yourself dear... it is the time to do so...
I'm so sorry to read your news this morning, from reading your posts you did EVERYTHING humanly possible in your caring, have no regrets whatsoever. He died with you at his side, peacefully and that is all anyone can ask for. Colin is at peace and, although there will be difficult times days ahead, they will pass and you'll remember the good days and your lives before psp. You've been and always will be an inspiration to everyone. Don't try to rush through your grief. Love and thoughts, jingles xx
Oh NannaB (Bev)I am relieved for Colin that he doesn't have to suffer any more and relieved for you that you don't have to watch him suffering.All my thoughts and love are with you at this time.
My thoughts are with you Bev. It's a long hard road & sometimes there seems no end to it, but so relieved for you both that Colin slipped away peacefully. Thank you for all you've contributed to this site, you've helped so many of us along the way with your wisdom & reassurances. It will be so strange moving on to a 'new' life, I've given it some thought myself from time to time, as it's been so long since anything was normal...just where do you begin ! Day at a time I guess is the only way forward. With love, M xx
NannaB what a journey you have had and what a brilliant job you did right till the end. I hope you will find joy in the rest of your life, what a sad sad time for you , sending love xx
I am so very sorry for your loss but oh so delighted that the end was so peaceful. Thank you for all of your wonderful support, you have always had a kind word for me when I've needed it.
I'm sending you much love now, hoping there are people around you to comfort & care for you as you have done for Colin.
So sorry but like other posts what a peaceful end, over the last year I feel I know people and almost have this vision of them and their homes and families.
Strength to you all and what an amazing job you have done.
Dear Bev, I am so sorry that you are having to go throuh Colin's passing. I know you have known this was going to happen, but it is still a jolt to your heart when it arrives. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing your's and Colin's journey with me.
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear man but so pleased he passed peacefully with you beside him, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, take care xx
Best wishes for you NannaB - it was a long struggle and may you have peace and rest - may Colin rest in peace, knowing he had you by his side throughout the struggle
Can't find the right words, Bev. Glad for you both that Colin left so peacefully, although reluctant to leave you ! Its been such a long, hard road for you both but your strength and humour have helped us all.
I know your family will all draw together to grieve and I know you will move on when you are ready.
Big hug and lots of love, from Jean and Chris xxx
Dearest Bev, may you and Colin both find peace now in the warmth of each others and God's love. I am certain you were as inspiring to him as you have been to all of us on this site; what a wonderful way to go, with your hand on his shoulder. I can almost imagine his thoughts: "Ah yes, the old girl is dozing; it's time now." He was a very blessed man.
BEV ( nanna B) ... I'm so so sorry to read today that your Colin has passed but I thank god it was peaceful and you were thre with your hand on his shoulder. He is at last free of PSP... now for you to find as you say a new normal. Nanna b I have only been using this site for a few months and you have always been beautifully sympathetic , kind and full of good advice for that I thankyou from the bottom of my heart .
I am thinking of you and Colin and sending you so much love !
Deepest condolences to you Bev, has bought a very large lump to my throat, but now Colin is at peace and away from this horrible disease. Thank you for all you have posted on this site.
Bev I ,am so sorry to hear about Colin's passing. Thinking of you all and sending love
So sorry for your loss, I don't often post but read your advice, comforting words and love you give to everyone and know you must have made a huge difference to so many of us, the love and care you have given your husband was amazing, and all the time encouraging others to carry on with the care for our loved ones. I hope you find peace in the fact he is free from the horrible disease and can sleep peacefully now. Time for you now to rest and carry on with your life you deserve to enjoy some quality time. Take care, and thank you for all the love and advice you have given us all. xxx.
Oh Nanna B, I am wiping tears as I type. I am so sorry for your loss but also glad that all of the suffering, (for both of you) is over. I am sure that you will find a new life but do not under estimate how difficult and challenging that will be also. Keep posting until you know the time is right to say Goodbye to this page. I send a big Heart full of love. Pam AKA DottieLottie
Nobody could have been more dedicated or perceptive than you in the way you looked after Colin. You should feel very proud of what you have done and the way you managed, not to mention the abundant help you have given to all of us.
Dear Bev I've woken this morning and am still crying for you, I've read all the posts and you my darling have received the most heartfelt and warming replies, you have truly been an amazing inspiration to us all and a most wonderful wife to Colin! You really are one of the most beautiful people I've ever met! Sending you much love again....❤️
NannaB (Bev) I am sad for your loss and condolences do not cover even a bit of what I want to say.
I am glad that you were there at the end, a peaceful one after the struggles and horrors that were the daily process which was PSP. Now you must grieve but also start to recover your independent life again.
Best wishes at this sad time, Tim
Hi Bev,
Sorry to read this sad news, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have followed you since my own lovely partner died in Feb 2013 after only a year's diagnosis and I want to tell you that there is life after PSP and a happy one at that but you never forget the time you spent caring.
Oh NannaB, I am so sorry to hear this. You and Colin definitely fought the good fight. He's up in Heaven with my Kim, watching over us now. You're in my prayers.
So sorry to hear Colin has passed, but glad for both of you he passed peacefully with you by his side. You have been an amazing and dedicated carer for so long, you really have been an inspiration to us all. Your wise words and obvious compassion and love have touched all of us, including people like me who don't comment on this site often. My thoughts and best wishes are with you Bev (nanna B), love and hugs xx
Dear Nanna B, I have read your posts daily and wish I had had your calm advice and comments available to me when I was looking after my wife. I can only send you my sincere condolences for your loss and best wishes when adjusting for the future. You can have the satisfaction of knowing, not only did you do your very best for your husband but many others have benefitted from your helpful contributions on this site. My very kindest regards, Jerry.
Oh Bev I am so very sorry. However he went peacefully with you right beside him. Nobody can ask for a better way to go than that as you are aware of. You have been through so much and so has Colin R.I.P. All my love to you as you face a new normal. I dread that so much I can't think of it! Life eh?
Please keep in touch as you are such a lovely person and we would miss you so very much.
God Bless you Bev. Shedding tears of relief for Colin, and sorrow and relief for you. He is at rest now your dear man. Think not of the past few horrible months but of the happy times you shared and cry when you want to.
A huge hug to you and lots of love to help you grieve.
I am so very sorry and sending you a hug and much love. I am pleased Colin's pain and suffering has finally ended and he is now at peace. Life is going to be unbearable without him but his love will always be with you. lots of love xxx
You did it, Bev, you carried your husband to a peaceful end, through a very hard struggle. Now I hope you can rest, and recover, grieve and find joy. You have been a wonderful friend, support and example to everyone here. Now please care for yourself. Love and peace, ec
Dear NannaB. I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't have the words to console you at this difficult time. I just hope that you can find some peace knowing that you dearest and nearest is finally at peace. You have been an inspiration and strength for myself and no doubt so many others on this forum. Just take it step by step, take your time to grieve. Take care xx
I was so sorry to read that you husband had gone on ahead. But not really sorry. PSP is such a horrific disease but I am noticing something as it seems that since my Bill died in July that several are following. What I am noticing is that in the last few moments of their lives they are indeed at peace. We can be so grateful for those final moments. They are waiting for the quiet and the calmness and the comfort of the closeness of their loved one and they are finally able to sigh and begin the path to the Lord. It is like they want to make it easier for those of us left behind. However if this is easy I am so thankful that we do not have to endure something worse. God love you and keep you and give you strength. Your husband will always be in your heart.
Kylie, yes! Those of us that have had loved ones pass in the last few weeks/months have described peaceful endings with loved ones by their side! It is an incredible consolation to know in the end they made their transition back to spirit, back to wholeness, free of the horrid confines of this disease.
Yes my husband was a strong strong man! And he did not let this horrible disease beat him! He took his last breaths strongly and quietly with me at his side with his girls not there to see him go. Just as I think he wanted it. He would have raised his fist if he could !! Know he did as he was walking, walking up to Heaven!
God bless. God bless us all
Nana B , I was sadden to read of your husband passing but it was so nice to hear he went peacefully. Hoping your heart will heal in time.
I hate to make this about me , but I woke up every hour last night to Bruce seemingly stopping breathing and then gasping for air seconds later....I don't know why I did not get up, I just fell back into exhausted sleep...but every time I was awoken , I thought of Colin....and wondered if B was doing the same thing.....
You have been such a blessing to this site, Bev thank you...truly your words have gotten me through some really rough times....Now it is our turn to keep you in our virtual care. Please know my prayers are so with you . and though it is a sad day, it is also a day of joy that Colin has gone home.
Oh Bev So sorry I am only seeing your message now, have been in the hospital for the last 24 hours Liam has dislocated his shoulder for the third time in three month. Big hug from me as your have been such a great comfort to us all with your replies and help to us all. Please take care of yourself and strength for the next few days xxxxx
Thanks Goldcap. I dont know how long he will be in hospital. It is so hard to stop him from getting up and falling but the last few months he has dislocated both shoulders. If only he would stay sitting as soon as I turn my back he is up. Take care xxx
So sorry to hear your sad news, but grateful for the ease of Colin's passing. My thoughts are with you and hope you recover strength and peace in the next few weeks and months.
My preys to you and your family. My husband has CBD if I could ask how long did your husband last? He has this 11years now and is in so much pain can't walk that good anymore and that was his favorite thing to do going for walks. I prey he is at peace now. God bless
Precious dear Nanna B. Bev. What a beautiful name. You and Heady were my introductions to this site. My idols, my mentors, my wise sister wives if you will! You commiserated with me when I was grouchy,gave me little (sometimes HUGE) pep talks when I felt like I could not go on, sage advice and understanding beyond belief. Your sleeping in a chair next to him all that time says it all. You were the best caregiver your dear Colin could have had. You are a strong, fine, wonderful woman and you are going to get through this. We ALL are. Those of us who are where you are now or were in the past and those that have yet to be here but surely (sadly) will be are all in this together. Our spirits joined together, our hearts touching in joy and sorrow. I feel blessed to know you! Read the advice you gave me! And listen to your own heart. Do what comforts you don't worry about anyone else. And sleep. Drink wine, cry, get under the covers, sleep,try to eat. Repeat Much love HUGE hugs. XX Jayne
Yes ! I totally agree with Jayne She says it so well! You are wonderful ! And so is Jayne!! You both held me up so often tho I did not start posting until recently. You both told me what to do when I was at a loss!! Thank you for everything. I hope we can stay in touch. And with all our other friends on this site.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I pray that during this time you will find strength in knowing that you are thought of by many who understand what it has been like for you. I pray that God wraps His arms around you and gives you the strength you need. Praying for you and your family.
Dear NannaB (Bev). Deeply sorry for your loss and can't imagine how you must be feeling...although thankful that Colin passed on peacefully.
I don't post often (bec of various demands on time) but often follow the many postings on this site, and esp your postings, which have been very helpful. Thank you for that, and for your unselfish sharing and encouragement for many of us. It is particularly meaningful for me, across the miles (I am from Singapore) and with hardly any understanding and available support for those of us caring for a loved one with PSP.
You have been amazing and awesome in this journey with Colin, and many of us can take a leaf from you. I trust Colin would have felt your love and care throughout his journey with PSP, as we felt it too.
I hope you will have fond memories of your time with Colin, and remember him as the man that he was. I also pray that you will have peace, comfort and meaning in this next season of your life, and will be blessed abundantly as you have blessed Colin and so many others. 💗💗💗
Dearest Bev, sending you my heartfelt condolences. Colin is free now, able to run and jump and sing and smile like he once did before psp.
You, as Nanna B, have been such a support and inspiration to us all here on this site. It is your turn now to grieve, one day at a time and then rebuild your life, a life free of psp.
Take care lovely lady. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Dearest Bev, I'm so very sorry, I can only imagine how you must feel, may God richly bless you in this next chapter of your life, and may your dear husband rest in peace til you (and we all) meet again. I'm glad he went peacefully in his sleep. That's a blessing, and so sweet that your hand was on his shoulder and that you've slept by his side for days and days and weeks. I hope it's some comfort to you knowing you've been a good and devoted wife until the very last minute and beyond.
Peace for you both now , he is at rest and you can do no more. I pray all will go smoothly for you as you learn to adjust. Hugs for you and all your family and wishing you all the happier memories.xxx
So so sorry Bev. Nobody could have done more for their husband. You deserve to have some happy times after PSP and I sincerely hope you get that. Xxxxx
NannaB.....gone offline as on holiday - but feel a very desperate need to say how very sorry I am for your loss. Please don't leave us....thinking of you at this time & sending you huge amount of love xxxx
You have both been in my thoughts the past week or so, I just couldn't get you off my mind, I was praying for a peaceful end for Colin and it was just that. I have never cried for someone I had never met before but this was different, you have both been such a tower of strength to me and I physically cried for you Bev.
I daren't look in my dining room, nothing has been moved yet and I can't face it right now, I suppose in the back of my mind I'm hoping Keith will be home again, but I know I'll never have that again and if I move everything it will be final and I haven't come to terms with that yet.
I'm so pleased you are looking forward to good times with your family and friends, please keep in touch as I always found your words very inspiring, take care of yourself Bev.....
Dear Pat, is Keith still in hospital? I hope I haven't missed a post from you saying otherwise as I haven't had much of a chance to read posts this week. If he is in hospital, have you been told he won't be home? It must be so difficult for you and you will be in my prayers tonight.
Bev he is permanently in a nursing home just over the road from our house, this is his fourth week now and he seems to be quite settled.
As for me I just keep sobbing and feeling terribly guilty, no matter what everyone says about it being too much for me to cope with at home now, I miss him so much! I know he's done it for me as he apparently kept telling all the carers etc that he was worried about me.
Our home no longer feels like home, as tired and fed up as I was I think I prefer that to the awful loneliness I feel now.
It's such a cruel disease to everyone involved, I feel really ill at the moment, streaming with cold and coughing all night, I think I must be at the lowest ebb ever in my life 😔
Oh NannaB, I an so sorry to hear your news, but glad for you both at the same time. Colin has peace at last and you now have to look after yourself as you adapt to the new "norm". You have been an inspiration to me and have given welcome advice. I didn't see your post earlier as we are procupied with our 5 year old granddaughter, who is very ill in hospital having just moved away from here last Monday. Sending thanks, hugs and prayers. If you feel you can still bear to use this site, don't be a stranger. God bless you, your family and Colin .X
Oh Robbo, I'm so sorry about your granddaughter and hope she is well on the way to recovery. Our grandson was rushed to hospital when he was 5, 4 years ago and I can well remember the anguish and fear we felt whilst trying to support his parents as well. He is fine now and I do hope you can say the se about your granddaughter.
Thank you, NannaB. She is home now, but with a tube up her nose for feeding. I don't know how they will manage with that, but at least she is home. How are you fairing? I cannot imagine, after all the hours of caring, worrying and dealing with everything that PSP throws at you. Keep well, one step at a time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. X
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Much love HUGE hugs. XX Jayne
