Good news everyone, at long last I've got 2 weeks respite for Keith, he's going to a newly built, lovely care home 2 minutes walk away from our house, it's taken a lot of fighting for but hopefully it will be worth it! Not sure how I'm going to feel leaving him there, I'll probably have a massive guilt trip and end up crying like I always do! I think we both need a break from each other and I'm hoping Keith will enjoy his stay, I wouldn't object to going there for a rest!
Watch this space, I'll keep you informed.....
Love and hugs.....Pat xx
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Pat, my wife went for a fortnight's respite 2 months ago and she's still there. Now well looked after and I am getting my life back. Less guilt if all ok. Peter.
Bubbles going to be popping in your house as well as mine tonight, then Pat! That's great news.🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Two whole weeks, what are you going to do? You must try and plan some trips away, or days out. Obviously some sleep time. Of course there will be crying, but you will have the time and space to shed them and not feel guilty about upsetting Keith. Ring as many people as you know and arrange for them to visit Keith, so you won't feel guilty, leaving him alone. These places are very good, they have activities most days, the one S goes to, they always make sure they give him the extra time he needs to answer any question. With different people around, I find S responds a lot better, they all love him and talk about his sense of humour. At home he just sits in his chair and won't communicate at all. It is very much like leaving your baby at the school gates for the first time, both crying, only they stop two seconds later, while yours lasts all day!!!
I was given the advise of NOT visiting. I do occassionally pop in, when S has been in respite, but only for the odd hour and definitely NOT at mealtimes!!!
Pat, we need these breaks, it is SO important that we use them wisely and recuperate, so we can carry on looking after our loved ones. Everytime you feel the guilt trips coming on, remember, it is for Keith's benefit that you are well rested. My attitude is, this is either part time or full time, we all have those choices, at the moment I'd prefer part time. This week it has got pretty close to thinking full time, but I got the good news that I have the respite I wanted down in Torbay. Mine starts a week on Saturday, I can wait that long, just!!!
Thanks Heady, he goes in on Tuesday morning, the manager at the home is going away next week and she said she wishes she could take me with her, how sweet is that? I've only met her three times and I think she has taken me under her wing, people can be so kind!
I'll try to take your good advice on board, whether it will work or not is anybody's guess!
Enjoy your break as well Heady, you deserve it, I'll be in touch in a couple of weeks.....
Pat, that is such good news, we must try to have a whole day out somewhere nice.
you will feel guilty but, don't, I spent my first respite feeling terrible and visiting and doing things every day, I realise now how silly I was, he will get spoiled and believe me, the times I have visited hubby and he's smiling and getting lots of attention, just enjoy your precious time, he will be fine, look forward to our next meet up, lots of love xxxx
I felt like that and its so hard, however 5 months on and things are getting better. Stopped feeling guilty and both Steve and I have benefitted. I am less stressed and even though I visit 6 days a week am so much more rested. Steve is looked after really well by kind carers and he even looks better as he has lost weight through me not feeding him treats all the time! More tears will come your way till you realise that you have done the right thing and you are not a failure. We all do our very best but sometimes things get too hard for us. We are human and all have our breaking point, the main thing is to recognise when this comes and accept all the help we can get. Hope you feel better soon. Love Pauline xx
Pat I hope you have a lovely 2 weeks break, you defiantly need it, Keith will be fine, go away for a week and get your energy back. Sending you a big hug Yvonne 🍷🍷🍷🍷
Pat, I wrote to Heady and I write to you a little thought... You are getting a respite from PSP, not your husband...at a two minute walk, you can go and visit him anytime...
So take that with you. You need to let someone help him better than you can
That's great news Pat, I'm so happy for you, and you won the fight. Enjoy your 2 weeks away, not from Keith but from PSP. Catch up on some sleep, friends, just whatever and whenever pleases you and gets those batteries recharged. Lots of love, Nanny857 xx
So pleased you are going to get the rest you deserve, guilt is a horrible emotion but as Heady says make the best of your time out, rest and play but forget the 'work' bit. Have you made any plans yet?
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