Have been banging my head against a brick wall with this! Doctors still think my man is capable of making his own decisions. They were not available at the weekend when he was not eating, drinking, coughing on food and having his big sleep! The very helpful nurse understood where I was coming from and thought like me.
The lovely doctor (from Essex would you believe!) who did the rounds today explained afew things to me. Thst since our ffinances are all joint owned there is no problem there; and that he also considered it was not necessary at this point. He went on to tell me that in circumstances where a life support needs to be turned off, the decision is made by the medical staff, not the patient's partner, and that the EPOA may be required at that stage to tip the family decision to agree.
In other words, it came to a decision to give or not to give treatment, such as antibiotics to my man, it would be their decision and recommendation to me, and not my overall decision.
I realised today when I felt it necessary to give thought to this process, that it would have been easier for me to mske it on a bad day, such as Sunday, rather thsn on a good day, such as today! And I realised that it would not be an easy decision for either of us to make! Being told that the doctors made such a decision and not me, made it easier to deal with today. And in such circumstances an EPOA was not required to be in place. He explained it far more compassionately than the doc in charge did, and I am grateful for that.
So now I see they will treat the pneumonia for as long as they think the treatment will be successful, or as long as they can put a line in his veins. I see that as being more problematic than his ability to recover with antibiotics!
And it is a decision that is not mine to have to make! So i can rest more easily and let that worry go!
Appreciate your thoughts!