Since my parents moved in with us 7 weeks ago, my dad has gone from walking with me holding his hands, him sitting in his recliner and taking naps, still talking with single words, and using the bathroom, to bed ridden ( we have moved in a hospital bed) barely awake most days, slurred speech if any, no bladder or bowel control and has pain in his joints due to them becoming stiffer, mostly in the hip area. I've given pain meds ( through hospice care) to help keep him comfortable. My mom and I, after many battles and discussions over his care have both reach the realization that dad may not have much longer. He had some lung infection a few days ago. Gave him antibiotics and oxygen. It worked great but we were told that it will probably happen more frequently. Mom has made the decision that if he gets another infection she would rather he be made comfortable instead of trying to give him more meds to prolong his suffering. My siblings are in conflict over this decision. Tonight my younger brother knelt down and asked our dad if he is ready to "die". It shocked the rest of the family. My dad did not respond to the question. When I asked dad if he wanted us to leave him alone so he could sleep, he said a faint yes. I don't think he wanted to answer that question and I don't think he ever will.
I have inner conflict with myself, one part wants to have dad with us as long as we can and the other part of me wants him to pass in his sleep and end all his suffering.
I don't know how to feel anymore.