Happy or sad?

My Dear Mum (not my psp person, that's my husband) has been in hospital for a couple of weeks with acute kidney failure, clung on to life yesterday, we did not know how much she was aware of, but my pregnant youngest daughters waters broke 1pm, which my other daughter told her, mum clung on to life till 12pm until I told her Claire's had a girl, then she went.

I was there last june when my Dad died, but yesterday was the most horrific thing I've ever witnessed, nothing had prepared me for what happened at the end

Not sure if I should be wetting the baby head or drowning my sorrows

On top of sitting at my mums bedside, getting  text messages regarding Claire's progress,the messages dried up, I knew something was wrong, I only found out later she had major complications and had to have surgery after the birth

Happy or sad?


20 Replies

  • Oh, DebbieAnn, I am so sorry for your loss and for having such a dreadful day. I don't know how you did it. I'm sending all my prayers to you and your family. You take the time to grieve the way you want to. We're here if you need us to listen. Take care.


  • Wow!! Well, take a quiet time just to try to find some equilibrium and then thank your lucky stars that your daughter and baby girl have survived after having had a bit of a rough time and then be thankful that your zoo or mother lived to hear the news but that now she suffers no more and you were with her until the end. It could have been a lot worse. You could have lost all three.  So sorry you've 'been through the mangle' as my mother would have said. Now you must try to come to terms with it all.  Best wishes. 

  • Thank you, I didn't know until today how close I'd come to loosing my daughter as well


  • Sending lots of love


  • ui agree w; what headu  saidl lljill

  • I think you are probably in shock.  Your daughter has probably lost some of the joy she should be feeling now, having lost her grandmother and had surgery.  My thoughts and prayers are with you all.  I hope you can feel joy when you see/ hold your granddaughter, knowing that she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your dear mum giving birth to you.  She has gone to a better place but left some wonderful people behind who should enjoy life and live it to the full.

    I do hope your daughter fully recovers soon and that you find peace as you come to terms with the loss of your mum.

    Sending you a big hug.

    X 💐

  • Thank you, I feel for my daughter, this should have been such a happy time for her and she'd done everything right during pregnancy, and strange the baby was a week early


  • She came early so your mum would know she was here and your mum waited to go until she had arrived. 


  • Hows daughter? Mum passed on as soon as baby was born?  and then daughter had complications....hows daughter....

    Hows you darlin' ?  oh baby I can't imagine going through what youre going through...may I just say... shit!!!! (not very Christian thought..sorry)

    Let me say this ...its a little more Christian. I do pray this has been a somewhat better day.


    God is our refuge and strength a very present help in time trouble .                                                 Psalm 46:1

    Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you...                                                             I Peter 5:7

  • Thank you, think I'm still a bit numb, claire is recovering, it was strange sitting by mums bedside, she barely seemed conscious, and her breathing had changed, I somehow knew she'd go when I told her what claire had, it was only a couple of minutes, it was horrible

  • What an emotionally intense day!

    Is your daughter OK?

    My order of business would be to raise a glass, or two or three to my Mum and leave the head wetting for another day. 

    There is something wonderful in your Mum hearing about the baby before passing.

    You don't know me, so is it OK to offer you warm wishes?

  • Debbieann many condolences but use the new life to hold on to yourself.  

    2 yr ago my mum did the same after fighting for an extra 6 months, slipped into a terminal coma after seeing picture of her 5th great grandchild (our first grandchild) she was fighting for every breath for nearly 2 months but she wanted to see/hear about new beginning before passing on, luckily she was allowed to pass peacefully no intervention, sorry to hear about your poor mum's operation.  Now help as you can with the new born, it will be a different stress to PSP care similar though happier.  She will light up your and your husbands life for years with her antics.

    Grieve for a while but celebrate new life.  Tim

  • Thank you Tim,

    Was my Mum and Dads 4th great grandchild, which neither of them will ever see, which makes me a bit sad for my youngest daughter, my parents were also too frail to attend her wedding in 2014, which upset her.

    How is Margaret getting on and how are you?

    Best wishes


  • So so sorry to hear about your loss Debbieann.. Glad your daughter and baby is well. Some days are so emotionally draining but am sure you are sustained by the love and prayers of so many people.. Stay strong xxx

  • What a day you`ve had. Sorry about your loss but welcome to the new life.


  • Oh, so much to happen all at once !!!

    You must be emotionally exhausted. I'm sorry to hear you lost your mum but happy she knew about the baby.  I hope your daughter is recovering well from the surgery and the family can share their mixed emotions.

    love and hugs, Jean x

  • As time passes I hope you and your daughter can take some pleasure out of the sadness that she had waited to hear the news of the new family baby .

  • DebbieAnn

    So sorry for your loss. May your mum rest in peace and peace be with you. So much on your plate, so many emotions. Hang in there. Prayers for you.


  • Yes I think me And my two daughters are on an emotional roller coaster at the moment, especially with Claire still in hospital after their birthing problems, can't celebrate or comfort each other xx

  • My prayers are with you. It is very hard to lose one family member at the same time gain another. What mixed emotions. God Bless you and your family.

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