I don't have to worry about me!

Our eldest son and his family arrived last night, complete with takeaway.  After we had eaten I had to give C a drink but he was very tired so it had to go through the PEG.  The boys came into C's room, our grandson 4 and J, our foster grandson 6. The conversation went like this.

boys, .      What are you doing Nanna B

Me.          Feeding grandad through a tube in his tummy.

boys.        How is it going through a tube in his tummy

I explained how they have a tube going from their throat to their tummy that their food goes down but grandad's didn't work properly so the doctor gave  him a  different tube.  They wanted to see where it went in so I showed them, asking C if it was ok to do so first.

J.   When is grandad going to die ?

Me.  Not yet, none of us know when we are going to die

J.   My brother died and he was 14 ?

Me.    That's sad but we aren't going to die yet

J.  Who will look after you when you get like grandad ?

Me.  I don't think I'll get like grandad because he has an unusual illness.

J.    Don't worry Nanna B cos if you do get like grandad, I'll look after you.

It brought a lump to my throat as although I've spoken to him on the phone, it's only the second time I've met him.

Our grandson then added,  I'll look after you as well Nanna B.

That's my old age sorted.....


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38 Replies

  • That is too sweet for words, and I'm happy for you that you have such lovely grandsons.  I'm betting you had something to do with that! Thanks for sharing that.  Now I have to go, there seems to be something in my eye. 

  • Funny that, so has mine!!!

    Lots of love


  • Oh, how lovely. And they really mean it !!

    You set a good example of devotion, Bev

    love and a hug, Jean x

  • Simply beautiful!!

    Kids are so adorable!

    Bless them x

  • Hi NannaB, what wonderful grandchildren you have, so caring, just like you.  Nanny857 xx

  • I am tearing up. How sweet.  It is so important to allow the grandkids to experience this straight up....Showing them the tube and what it does you have just helped them cross a bridge to empathy sympathy compassion understanding and responsibility. I promise you, this was a moment that will help them define their character.

    God Bless those grandbabies, God Bless you and grandpa


  • Just before they left yesterday, and the boys out of earshot, our son said how touched he was by Js comments as it was the first time he had come close to showing any of those feelings.  He said if anyone hurt themselves he would just stop and look. If J cries, the 4 year old tries to comfort him and asks him what is wrong and if he has fallen, H runs to him and tries to help. If H cries, J just stands and stares with a blank look on his face. Our son said he thinks it was because he was the youngest of a very large family and it was the survival of the fittest. His siblings react the same according to all the other foster parents.  Our son said he and his wife were so pleased they actually heard him speak to me as he did.

    They have gone home now, the house is quiet again and I miss them already........but oh my muscles do ache from pushing swings, walking fast as they cycled in front of us and me showing them I'm not too old to go on the zip wire (I now think I am!)


  • I don't want to step on your wonderful story but Mine is rather similar.  My son has a sort of foster child...it's his wife's sisters who is not able to take care of him. The kids were asking what I wanted for my b day (In feb) so  I asked the boy if he could start calling "Mr. Birke", "Grandpa Birke" instead.

    I just asked once and the boy did not do it ...until Easter Day....

    As we were leaving, Boy hugged B and said good bye grandpa, I love you.......Instant tears to my eyes!!! We all were like OHHHHH how sweet .  B gave him a big hug and kiss and off he went.....I figure it looks like this boy will be with us for ever and may be the only grandchild B gets to see....so it was a truly blessed day....Out of the mouths of babes, eh?



  • Just beautiful AVB! So sweet!

  • Thank you psplife !

  • Oh I'm so glad he called B grandpa. B must have been thrilled to receive a hug as well.  They do warm your heart don't they.


  • Yes I think so. B does not display much emotion but he did smile when boy hugged and kissed him this time.

  • Hi AVB,  I'm not surprised you had tears, I did.  What a great gift for grandpa and then a hug and kiss for the boy from grandpa.  Hope there are lots more of these moments in the future.  Lots of love Nanny857 xx

  • Thank you , me too!

  • NannaB, sounds like you and your family are doing wonderful works with J when he can now express this feeling, congratulations.  I know that 'quiet' feeling after they've gone and the aching muscles.  When C  is asleep, go for a long relaxing bath and enjoy. Lots of love Nanny857 x

  • So- lovely! Enjoy their stay. X

  • I think this conversation with J was really significant for him. He must really feel attached to you, Bev. Well done 

    You are too old for the zip-wire !!!

    love, Jean x

  • It was fun though but I'm feeling it today.


  • Its important to keep doing things we shouldn't but we pay a bigger price as we age !!! I feel I'm really ageing too !!


  • Oh NannaB, that's lovely!  I wish S's grandson could get involved with him.  But his father can't cope, so we rarely see them.  But he does know, Grandad loves a cuddle and is more than happy to provide as many as he wants.  Long may that last, he is 11 now, so probably for not much longer!

    Lots of love


  • As you say Heady, Lin

    Long may those cuddles last.


  • Yes Heady, long may the cuddles last and I pray that your son will find a way to come to terms....my daughter is having a rough time ....


  • Hi Heady, Hope your son finds a way of coping soon and grandad gets to give and receive more cuddles.  sending you and S lots of love and a big hug.  Nanny857 xxoo

  • Love that NannaB!! Brought tears to my eyes. That says alot about you all and how you have raised your son and how your son is raising your grand children. Very, very sweet.

  • Precious!


  • That is a wonderful story NannaB, aren't children so honest with their feelings and you both must feel very blessed by those precious words. It is especially touching from a foster child who has probably had a lot of trauma in his short life and he must feel very secure to express his feeling of love. Amazing. They say you get out of life what you put in, your grandchildren must be very very fond of you both and well deserved may I say. K xxx

  • Another "symptom" of this horrible disease; not being able to look after them as much as I would like to.


  • I know that feeling NannaB.  Watching my family struggle to keep that desperate worried look off their faces, when they are with me, is a killer. You are right, I should be looking after them, not the other way around!  My sister is on her knees at times, trying to give me support and our mother, who as Alzheimer's.  I try to help there, but it's impossible.  One minute she forgets S is ill and tells my sister he is a lazy good for nothing and refuses to speak to her, or she tells anyone that will listen, that she has to go and look after S on her own and she is very frightened on being on her own with him!!!  Which obviously as never happened!!! Hey ho!

    Lots of love


  • Altzheimers and PSP In the family at the same time is so hard on carers.....I speak from experience.

    Sending you a great big hug.


  • Ain't it just!!!!!

    Lots of love


  • I know NannaB, I have my daughter in law and two small grandsons here for a while and it breaks my heart that I can't give them the time I would love to. Ben adores them but can't show them the emotion to let them know he cares. Trying to juggle time for them but also care for Ben is quite a strain, even a trip to the park is a major headache. To be robbed of being proper grandparents is hard to swallow, so unfair. K xxx

  • It is Katiebow.  If I have any of our 4 without their parents, I take them to an indoor play area as I know they can't escape.  I can sit and watch or leave C for a while and join in with the boys. I'm not going to go through the sponge rollers again though. I nearly got stuck last week. I will take them to our local recreation ground, a 5 minute walk away, but last time I went to a big park nearby, they both ran to the play area quite a distance away and as it was across grass, I got the wheelchair stuck in the mud.  It was a nightmare with two boys in the distance and an immobile husband tilting precariously.  Fortunately there are some very kind folk around and several came to our rescue.  As you say, a trip to the park is a major headache.


  • I 2d that thought Katiebow...just watching a movie with the B is an effort in patience!  B has to use the saliva machine at least 5 or so times during the movie.  It is so loud that we have to pause it so we don't miss anything!  But boy doesn't mind...I don't think....


  • NannaB brought tears to my eyes, you must be a fantastic grandma, my smallest grandson never wants to go home, yesterday George was unwell, he wanted to go to bed, doctor had been called, Charlie layer on the bed next to him waiting for the doctor and to look after him.  Children are so sweet, unconditional love.  My daughter has started calling me honey pot, because the little one always wants to be here.  Love to you all xxxxx

  • That's so sweet. I've got the other two tonight.  They wanted to come back here after my birthday outing but they had things to do the next day so I said they can come this weekend instead. They do say they love me but I have a feeling they love my iPad better.  They don't have one at home and as soon as they get here, they give me a hug and say, "Hello Nanna B. Can we play on your iPad PLEEEEASE?"  I have to promise mum and dad their time will be limited.  Their mum always says they must wait until she goes and for the next half hour they keep asking her when she is going. Last time they came, the 9 year old whispered, "Don't ask her if she wants a cup of tea, she has a lot to do at home".  I was very naughty and asked her if she wanted a cup of coffee.  She did.  The poor boys. The wait was agony but they eventually went and played in their room until she called them to say goodbye. They flew down the stairs, gave her a hug and kiss and shut the door before she had got out of the porch, asking if they can have the iPad now. I'm so cruel, I opened the front door and told them to wave mummy off or she will think they don't want her. She seemed to take a long time to drive off as she was texting someone and I nearly shut the door again but finally, we all waved goodbye, "Can we have it NOW Nanna B".

    I don't mind them using it as most of the time they look at Google Earth. They managed to find where their other grandma lives in Australia. We could see their house in Hunter Valley and the railway line.  They then found where they had been on their holiday in Spain, the actual chalet they stayed in and they "walked" me to the  playground they went to every day. We saw their house in Brighton and our house here with our old blue car on the drive.  Amazing!  OK, better get off this iPad now and feed my poor hungry husband.



  • Oh NannaB my grandchildren love my iPad as well, you made me laugh , not doing much of that lately.  Love you and Colin xxxxx

  • Small children are so transparent, aren't they ? It makes being with them so magical. Our youngest is 9 now and, although delightful, is at a different stage. I mourn the passing of the " infants "

    love, Jean x

  • I know what you mean Jean. 


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