Told V I was going to be away for two nights at the end of this week - went down like a lead balloon - tears , cries of desertion and "you won't come back " etc etc . Pointed out as gently as possible that since the diagnosis of this illness I had prepared and washed up some 2000 meals , had washed and dressed her and put her to bed over 1400 times had sorted some 300 loads of washing- had got up in the middle of the night more times than I could remember this morning being one of them ( another 3.30 start )etc etc and although none of this was her fault I needed a bit of break . Actually after looking at the figures I needed a large brandy but 10 am is a bit early ! Instead thought that really I could do with a month off but two nights will have to do .Gosh its exhausting isn't it - must now prepare copious lists for carers and speak sternly to the cat and tell it it mustn't do its usual trick of hiding upstairs at bed time .Carers will not find it in the slightest bit amusing .
In nervous anticipation of what lies ahead - Georgpa
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Georgepa
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You really have earned this break. Are you living it up or chilling out or both ?
I expect its frightening for V. and I find C. is more self centred than he used to be. We are their world, aren't we ? It doesn't help them if we are worn out.
I hope you have a wonderful time. I raise my glass to you [ well later on I will !]
Ahhhhh! Looking at your figures what have I done since 2010? Scary isn't it. I hope you let us know what exciting things you get up to. Two nights isn't long. Are you going to a hotel or relations? I'd probably be tempted to sleep the days away. I'm not a morning person so to think you may be able to lie in bed until you want to......sounds like bliss. I'm sure V will enjoy the company of others once you have gone so please try not to worry, easier said than done though.
If the cat does hide upstairs at bedtime, the carers will probably leave it there and it will wonder why daddy makes it come downstairs.
Cat is a so and so will hide then appear and meow very loudly and persistently in the early hours of the morning demanding food game or attention - hence shut in the conservatory at night .
Whilst reading your post it reminded me of the first time I realised what I was doing for my wife was no more than mothers had been doing for families for generations. Even allowing for the fact that I was doing it in my seventies rather than in my twenties it was tiring and much of it boring, and I was only looking after two of us. I take my hat off to working Mums worldwide. I know the situations aren’t directly comparable but the actual work involved is very similar.
My very best wishes to you and I hope you return the right side of many a restorative Brandy feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed.
After what Quickjel has said about lots of Brandys. I'd like to say, hope you really paint the town red, or at least the little pub in Exmoor and come back with a stinking hangover. But reality steps in and says, get some much needed sleep, relax and switch off the world for those two precious days. V will be fine, going back to the Mum's world, think of it like when we all dropped our kids off at school for that first time, everyone crying. They were ALWAYS the first to dry the tears. Hopefully V will be the same. Either way, YOU MUST GET SOME REST!!!!
You are still allowed a hangover the first morning away!!! ENJOY IT GEORGE!
Think I will pass on the hangover - what I actually want to do is revisit some boyhood haunts of some 60 years ago .I learnt to fly fish on the the River Lyn . It is a fast flowing river running down from Exmoor to Lynmouth . In between Rockford and Watersmeet where East and West Lyn converge there is magical pool called Long Pool . It is difficult to find as the path following the river climbs up through the woods and leaves the river behind . But if you scramble down over rocky outcrops you will eventually find where the river narrows between two cliffs of rock .The water is almost still . At the top end is a waterfall and the deep chasm creates an almost sinister atmosphere The water is deep and dark but lying along a ledge, just below the surface , you will see great 20lb salmon waiting for the river to be in full spate in order to make the dramatic leap up the waterfall to get to their spawning ground .As a boy I spent many a happy hour on my tummy just watching and waiting for that moment . You could see a fish turn and drift down to the bottom end of the pool then with a flick of its tail swim faster and faster up the pool and make the final jump right out of the water. Some made it wriggling their way up through the white water to escape upstream others fell back and retook their place along the ledge .
I may not see any salmon but in my imagination I will and I will feel as exhilarated as they did when they followed that primeval urge to reach their destination .That's how I will recharge my batteries .
love to you all and thank you for your kind wishes - I will tell you how I got on . Georgpa
Wow you again took us on your journey...even though this time you yourself have yet to go!!!! If you haven't become an author, do so in between laundry and meals, won't you?...I mean besides here.....
George have a well deserve break, we should all do a break now and again, we are all tired, when our children were young and we were caring for them, we were much younger. V will be fine, go and enjoy. Yvonne xxxxxx. Heady hope you are feeling better xxxxxxxxxx
GOOD ON YER GEORGEPA YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE IT A WEEK REALLY MATE V WILL BE OK ONCE SHE SETTLES DOWN TO THE IDEA THAT YOU NEED A REST AND A RECHARGE OR ELSE THE WHOLE LOT WILL GO TO PIECES AND IM SURE THE CAT WILL SURVIVE MATE ANYWAY YOU HAVE A GREAT TIME AND ENJOY YOURSELF YOU DESERVE IT TAKE CARE BEST WISHES PETER JONES QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIA PSP SUFFERER
Thanks Peter , I am sure you are right- maybe next time it will be for a bit longer. Unfortunately what with the cost of doing the wet room , changing the car to a wheelchair accessible one , it all takes its toll on the old finances.Anyway I shall enjoy the break and I am sure it will do us both good .
hi georgepa thanks for your reply mate I really do understand about the finances maybe things will have changed for you next time you can get a break take care mate and PLEASE ENJOY don't worry about a thing v will be fine so have one for me when you get to the pub see yer peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer
Have a wonderful time revisiting your boyhood days. I hope you find some salmon.
Lieve xx
I am dumbstruck with envy. I know I am coping well given minimal help but I long to go to Istanbul and can't fit that in the 7 hour day care window. Last managed a night away in April 2014 which now feels like pre-history. Enjoy, find your salmon, eat and drink well with no cooking, washing up or even pouring. Enjoy.
Georgepa, enjoy the rest, and doing different things. V will be OK once she has settled she knows you will be back but you need to relax and recharge. Exmoor is fantastic a hidden gem often overlooked by my old stomping ground of Dartmoor. Hope weather kind. Best wishes Tim
I'm very glad for you, George, and truly admire your fortitude in arranging this break. It's not easy to do it, however needful. You are wise. And the two days will fly for you and for your wife. I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful, refreshing time. All the best, Easterncedar
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